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How to celebrate Thanksgiving when you’re not close to your family
Thanksgiving is only a day away and most Americans have solidified their family plans for the holiday. Whether you’re hosting the big meal or heading to a relative’s house, the holidays are often a chance to reconnect with loved ones. However, Thanksgiving Day isn’t always a family-oriented occasion. Over the years, several studies have found that the seemingly joyous holiday season isn’t always easy for everyone. In a survey conducted by the AARP Foundation in 2017, 31 per cent of respondents said they felt lonely during the holidays throughout the last five years. Meanwhile, 41 per cent of participants were concerned about a family member or friend feeling lonely around the holidays. In 2020, a survey conducted by ValuePenguin also found that 70 per cent of respondents struggled with different types of loneliness before Thanksgiving and Christmas, partly due to the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic. While socially-distanced holiday parties have mostly become a thing of the past since then, there’s still many reasons why some people spend the season by themselves. Some Americans have family members living on the opposite side of the country, or world, while others may not have a close relationship with their relatives at all. There’s no one concrete way to spend the holidays, and everyone has their own reasons why they choose not to see certain people on Thanksgiving. Speaking to The Independent, Emma Mahony, a therapist at Better Life Therapy based in Pennsylvania, acknowledged that, when we spend the holidays alone, our feelings of loneliness can be heightened. While everyone experiences loneliness in a different way, Mahony believes that the feeling could be tied to how Thanksgiving has been portrayed over the years. “I think a lot of the anxieties and concerns that come up have to do with unmet expectations of what you think a holiday is supposed to look like, and what you think your relationship with your family or your friends is supposed to look like,” she said. “I think that’s where a lot of people themselves feel a little bit of a stressful state. Just maybe feeling a little let down by the expectations they have for themselves, after watching other people experience the holidays differently than them.” The holidays are often referred to as the most wonderful time of the year, but that doesn’t ring true for everyone. In some cases, the winter months can be quite a triggering time, and potentially a reminder to people of how they’ve been hurt by those closest to them. According to Mahony, the best way to manage those feelings of animosity is by creating your own perspective about the holidays and new ways to celebrate. “I think you should allow yourself to reframe it as: ‘Okay, how do I want the holidays to look for me? Who are the people that I do want in my life? Who are the people that I don’t want in my life?’” she advised. “Don’t try to make something that shouldn’t happen happen. Instead, recreate your own memories and your own traditions, and give yourself space and permission to do so. But also, if you know that it’s going to be a hard time for you, create that support system, from reaching out to a therapist or to a close friend.” For those who do have a close support system, it can make skipping out on Thanksgiving dinner a little easier. On the other hand, your cousins may miss sitting next to you at the dinner table. Still, Mahony believes we shouldn’t try to convince our family members to attend an event in which they’ve already opted out. “If someone decides they don’t want to be with you over the holidays, respect that choice for them,” she explained. “Don’t make them feel bad for prioritising themselves and their needs. [It] will potentially, you know, make things worse long term. I just honour that everyone needs to do what’s best for them, whether that be financially, emotionally, or physically.” Even if you decide to celebrate Thanksgiving this year without your family, it doesn’t mean that you’re entirely on your own. Mahony suggested setting up a Zoom call or FaceTime with some friends, or planning a fun meal if you’re worried about eating solo. “You could really do whatever you want, so I would set up things for yourself to look forward to,” she said. For those who are spending the holiday alone, but still want to take part in Thanksgiving-related activities, spend the morning or afternoon at a local homeless centre. You can continue the day by hosting a Friendsgiving dinner or movie night with your pals who are still in town. When it comes to food, you can cook a mini turkey for one or ditch Thanksgiving dinner altogether and order take-out at a local restaurant. Then, close out the night with some early Black Friday shopping online or in person. Although this Thursday is indeed a federal holiday, who says the day can’t feel like any other? Ultimately, how you spend Thanksgiving is entirely up to you and there’s no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays. Remember that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for avoiding family during the holiday season. “If Thanksgiving looks different for you year after year, that’s okay. There’s not a specific way to spend the holidays and no family looks the same,” Mahoney said. “If you’re coming to terms with the fact that being with your family for the holidays isn’t what’s best for you, give yourself a little bit of compassion there. “It will get easier over the years, as you figure out how to take care of yourself better.” Read More Viral Thanksgiving guest mix-up continues tradition for eighth year How to watch Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade 2023 I made an air fryer Thanksgiving dinner so you don’t have to When do stores open and close on Thanksgiving and Black Friday this year? Why do Americans celebrate Thanksgiving? How to transport everything from turkey to cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving
2023-11-23 00:59
I made an air fryer Thanksgiving dinner so you don’t have to
I haven’t turned on my oven since I was given an air fryer three Christmases ago. This may seem unbelievable, but, living in New York City, where the kitchens are closet-sized and a dishwasher is the thing of dreams, it’s a reality I’ve become resigned to. In the last three years, my air fryer hasn’t let me down once, whether it be cooking salmon or zucchini fries. If anything, I’d say I’ve become a better cook because of its existence. Because I love my air fryer more than anything, or at least more than any other kitchen appliance, I happily offered to host a Friendsgiving dinner this year for my nearest and dearest. After all, armed with my miniature oven, I’d be able to whip a traditional feast up in no time. To my dismay, after I’d informed my friends (all three of them) of my planned cooking method, they all decided to cancel. One was more upfront about it, citing a fear of salmonella, while the other two suddenly remembered conflicting plans. I wasn’t deterred. Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday, and I am one of the few people who actually loves Thanksgiving food. Is there anything better than smothering a plate of beige foods with beige gravy? This air fryer Friendsgiving would be a dinner of one. After deciding on the menu, I headed to the grocery store, where I picked up a teeny, tiny Cornish hen as a turkey replacement, a sweet potato and some mini marshmallows, a can of crescent rolls, seasoned bread crumbs and chicken stock for stuffing, Brussels sprouts, gravy, pumpkin pie filling for a premade pie crust, and some tinfoil. I felt like a TikTok chef, ready to be the star. My first mistake, of which there would end up being many, was timing, as I didn’t consider exactly how long this dinner would take if I were air-frying all of the components separately. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what I did. If you do embark on a similar journey, I’d say this is the most important thing to consider. Like any other Thanksgiving meal, creating a spreadsheet of what needs to go into the oven when would have helped immensely. At 6pm, I promptly set out on my dinner preparation. By 6.15pm, I was bleeding and covered in BBQ sauce after a jar fell out of my cupboard and smashed on my kitchen floor while I was reaching for spices to season my chicken - a step I recommend avoiding. My faith in my ability to successfully make this meal had already begun to wane. Despite the setback, I seasoned my chicken and plopped it in the air fryer breast down, as recommended by a recipe I found online. According to the instructions, I was to set the air fryer at a temperature of 380F for 20 minutes, and then flip the chicken and cook it for an additional 10 minutes. When the 30 minutes were up, I opened my air fryer with glee to find a perfectly crispy chicken. I was beyond impressed with myself. If I could make this mini Thanksgiving main course, I could make anything. As it turns out, the mediocrely cooked chicken was the extent of my good luck, and even that was pushing it. When it came to the stuffing, which I decided to make next, the air fryer turned it nearly as hard as rocks when the recipe instructions promised it would come out a golden brown. The pieces that weren’t hard enough to crack my teeth were somewhat tasty though, so I’d say that was almost a win. The sweet potato, which was meant to be sweet potato casserole, proved to be one of the biggest disappointments of the meal, with me solely to blame. Although I’m not sure exactly how I would have cooked canned yams for the base of the dish in the air fryer, attempting to cook a rock-solid sweet potato didn’t work either. By the end of 30 minutes at the highest temperature, my potato was still mostly raw. I finally just covered it with marshmallows, which crisped up nicely in the air fryer, and called it a day. If you are going to follow my lead, I do think canned yams would make more sense, or at least cutting up the sweet potato into smaller chunks so it takes less time to cook. The Brussels sprouts were, thankfully, easy to make in the air fryer, and one of the only components that didn’t turn out completely terrible. It turns out it’s pretty hard to mess up Brussels sprouts, even for the worst chefs among us. I’d even go as far as to say this is a quality replacement for a true, oven-roasted Thanksgiving side, and a way to cut down cooking time on the actual holiday. I assumed the most foolproof part of the meal would be the crescent rolls, which looked nearly perfect when I took them out of the air fryer, where they’d cooked for a mere six minutes on a bed of foil. Unfortunately, my first eager bite resulted in a mouthful of raw dough. As someone who has relied so frequently on my air fryer for sustenance, I was both surprised and disheartened by the massive failure the endeavour was turning out to be. By this time, after an hour and a half of going at it, I had just two components left: gravy, which I confidently assured myself I could heat in the air fryer, and a miniature, makeshift pumpkin pie that I’d made. After creating a little gravy boat from tin foil, which I assured myself was safe to put in the air fryer, I poured the premade gravy in and wished for the best. After five minutes, during which I’d stopped to stir the goopy mixture, I removed the gravy to find that, for all intents and purposes, it had worked. The gravy was lukewarm, which seemed like a win. However, a quick taste test proved that it was one of the grossest accompaniments I’d ever tried, but I’m unsure whether this was due to error on my part or Whole Foods. At this point, at 8pm, I plated my Thanksgiving air fryer meal. And, to my surprise, it looked absolutely perfect. It was one of the most beautiful meals I’d ever made myself, and looked like it would be at home on any Thanksgiving table. My pride slowly seeped out with each bite, however, as I gave the meal an overall rating of two out of 10. The chicken that I’d so painstakingly seasoned and then flipped? Both extremely crispy and dry, while also a concerning colour of light pink. I ate a leg before I reminded myself that I didn’t have time to get sick from salmonella this holiday season. I moved onto the sweet potato, which had hardened on top from the marshmallows and, it turns out, was not even a little cooked inside. I ate the marshmallows, but begrudgingly. Fortunately, the edges of the crescent rolls were cooked enough to be edible, so I nibbled on those while I contemplated whether or not pouring the disgusting gravy on top of the rock-hard stuffing would make it more palatable. I sat in disappointed silence as I ate my Brussels sprouts, which are obviously the worst part of any Thanksgiving meal, but which were the only edible part of mine. As for the pie, I put it in the air fryer to cook while I ate my dinner, only to be too concerned by the pie tin setting on fire, or worse, ruining my air fryer, and removing it while still raw. My air fryer Thanksgiving dinner was disgusting and time-consuming and, ultimately, inedible. But, did I have fun? Also no. If you do follow in my footsteps, maybe pick just one Thanksgiving component to air fry, such as the vegetables, or a turkey breast, rather than an entire bird. With a day to go before Thanksgiving, I’ve travelled home, where I will happily enjoy a Thanksgiving feast made in an oven. Read More Mayo slander doesn’t make you a foodie – it makes you boring Best wines to pair with Thanksgiving dinner Three easy cranberry sauce recipes to try this Thanksgiving Mayo slander doesn’t make you a foodie – it makes you boring Best wines to pair with Thanksgiving dinner Three easy cranberry sauce recipes to try this Thanksgiving
2023-11-23 00:56
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