Grandmother praised for refusing to babysit daughter’s newborn unless she’s paid $20 an hour
A 29-year-old woman was in for a rude awakening when she asked the internet if her mother was in the wrong for refusing to babysit her newborn for free. “Am I the a**hole if my mom refused to help me take care of my baby while I go back to work?” u/erika_urrrika asked the popular Reddit forum. In her post, the new mother wrote that both she and her partner work full-time and cannot afford to have one parent stay home with their baby. The Redditor explained that their jobs don’t allow them to work from home, and they wanted to avoid spending money on childcare. In addition to being the breadwinner of the household, she is also saving money to pay off credit card debt and move to a bigger apartment. However, the grandmother refused to look after her grandchild for free, noting that she was “too old” and had “already raised her kids”. “Mind you, my mom is 64, has been a homemaker/stay-at-home-mom since 1992, and hasn’t been part of the workforce since then,” the daughter wrote. “She also added that if I really wanted this baby, then maybe I should have thought about staying home like she did to take care of it while my partner goes to work and provides for us like a ‘traditional’ family, and that if she any my dad were able to work it out, so can we.” When the Reddit user detailed her financial situation to her mother, she asked to be compensated $20 an hour for each hour she looks after her grandchild, including late fees for pickup. “So, am I the a**hole for wanting my mom, who again is at home all day long (trust me, she does not do anything besides watch TV and cook meals), to take care of my baby for free while me and my partner try to fix our finances?” she asked. In the comments, many Reddit users called the daughter “entitled” for expecting her mother to take care of her child for free. “Sorry to be blunt and rude but maybe don’t have a child if you can’t afford to take care of them,” replied one person. “And if your plan was always to go back to work you should have discussed that during the pregnancy with your mom.” “Your mother is under no obligation to babysit for you,” another user said. “Why are you having a child you don’t seem to know what to do with? And why have you not worked all this out before now?” A third person wrote: “Your mom is in no way obligated to care for YOUR BABY. It’s generous of her to be willing to do it for pay, and you have the gall to be mad she won’t do it for free? She is entitled to spend her life and free time however the hell she wants. It’s not her fault you’re in debt and decided to have a baby you can’t afford. The only thing she may have done wrong at some point along the line is raise you to be this horribly entitled.” “You chose to have a child, not your mother. Your mother isn’t a free babysitter,” another said. “She is right, she raised her children. Her babysitting on occasion would be kind and appreciated but you sound entitled thinking you are owed childcare.” One person simply commented, “You’re not the a**hole for wanting her too. But you’re the a**hole for expecting her to.” According to Sittercity, the average hourly rate of babysitters in the US in 2023 is $18.50 per hour, while the average hourly rate of nannies who “typically work on a full-time or set schedule basis” is $20 an hour. This isn’t the first time a babysitter has caused a stir on Reddit. Recently, a woman sparked a debate after revealing that she asked a family who cancelled on her babysitting services last minute to pay her half of the $840 she planned to charge them. The babysitter told Reddit’s AITA forum that she usually charges a “flat rate of $100 a night” while babysitting overnight. “Overall, the price for those three days was going to be $840,” she said. But when she received a text from the parents cancelling her babysitting services, she explained that she was “out three days pay”. In response to the last-minute cancellation, she asked the customer for $480, the “minimum [she’d] make at work in those three days”. She said the mother declined the request and said she was being “ridiculous”. While the babysitter noted that she and the family didn’t have a contract, “which in hindsight was stupid” and that “legally they don’t have to pay” her, she still felt that the right thing for the family to do was pay her. Read More Woman questions whether it was ‘selfish’ to refuse boyfriend’s request for $5,000 loan Babysitter asks family to pay half of $840 bill after they cancelled last minute People divided over whether you should switch tables in a restaurant if seated next to a crying baby Woman questions whether it was wrong to refuse boyfriend’s request for $5,000 loan Women urged to check blood pressure – here’s what you need to know Denise Welch remembers ‘losing sense of reality’ while facing post-natal depression
2023-05-18 02:48
Ex-vegan claims quitting diet ‘saved her life’
An former vegan whose hair started to fall out in chunks has claimed that eating meat “saved her life”. Kai-Lee Worsley, who is originally from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, became vegan aftermoving to Santa Ana, California, in 2018. After moving in with a group of vegans, she learnt about factory farming, which is controversial due to the cramped and stressful conditions endured by livestock. She was then convinced to try veganism herself. “What convinced me is the way animals were treated. I didn’t know how animals were treated in factory farms. I didn’t know factory farms existed,” she said. Kai-Lee stopped eating all products derived from animals and started eating protein-rich vegetables, such as beans and legumes. She also used supplements to counter the lack of proteins found in meat. But six months into her new diet, she started to feel unwell. Her hair started to fall out, her fingernails became brittle and she found it difficult to stand up. “I was extremely tired all the time. I couldn’t form coherent thoughts,” she said. “I would just lie in bed multiple times a week and I would spend all day in bed if I could. “My nails were breaking all the time. My hair was falling out. I have thin hair anyway but my hair was just coming out in chunks.” Kai-Lee stuck to the diet until June 2019 when her symptoms became too intense to ignore. Less than a year after becoming vegan, Kai-Lee started eating meat again and has credited it with “literally [saving] my life”. ”Now I eat basically the same thing as when I was a vegan except I have steak three times a week. I’ve swapped meat substitutes for meat. It has literally saved my life,” she said. Despite feeling the benefits of eating meat, Kai-Lee morally struggled to abandon her vegan diet. Kai-Lee said: “I really thought veganism was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I even saw myself as an activist. “After I ate meat, I saw myself as a fraud. I even had a V tattoo in my ear, which stood for vegan. I was at that point when I was so indoctrinated that it was really hard to go back. “I didn’t tell anyone at the beginning. I was worried what they would think about me.” She concluded: “I think when you’re so indoctrinated in something it’s really hard to back away, but I’m glad that I was able to do it in time.” Read More Janey Godley shares heartbreaking cancer update Gaining weight before 30 raises cancer risk decades later Teacher, 25, rushed to hospital with stomach ache diagnosed with terminal cancer Pensioner, 85, shares the simple switch that’s helped him to do 650,000 press-ups How to check if you have skin cancer: Symptoms and signs to look out 6 mouth cancer symptoms everyone should know
2023-05-17 17:50
Chef whose blood flows backwards says excruciating pain ‘cuts like a knife’
A single mum whose blood sometimes flows “backwards” has been left in excruciating pain and living “penny to penny” after a CT scan revealed she is likely to have pelvic congestion syndrome – but the next available appointment is not until 2024. Lolita Vaciete, 33, called the NHS in tears and begged them to expedite her treatment but was told she would have to wait a year before she could see a blood specialist about her condition, which is not life-threatening but makes everyday tasks like taking her eight-year-old son Jakob to school a logistical nightmare and means she runs the risk of passing out while on her period. While waiting for her appointment, Lolita, who has worked as a gourmet chef for 15 years, has been prescribed “strong painkillers” to help cope with the agony which she describes as like being “cut with a knife”. She was forced to take sick leave in March as she cannot stand up for more than a few hours at a time, and says the decision to postpone her treatment has “ruined her life” and that if her income continues to dwindle, she will be plunged into debt. Faced with no other option, Lolita is looking to raise money to afford private medical treatment as she fears Jakob is also suffering because of her condition. Pelvic congestion syndrome is a long-term condition where veins in the lower abdomen stop working properly, allowing blood to back up, causing the veins to become congested. Lolita, who lives in Milton Keynes, said: “Taking care of my son is what keeps me going and helps me find the strength to continue doing stuff, even though I can’t physically. “I feel like I’ve been locked in a box and told to just stay and wait. “I don’t understand how it can take 14 months for a blood specialist and gynaecologist to see me.” Lolita did not think it was “serious” when she started feeling pain around her abdomen in June last year. But over the next few months she rapidly lost weight and the pain intensified. “In the past year, I lost two stone without even trying,” she said. “Every time I moved, it felt like someone was cutting me with a knife in the right side of my abdomen. “I was very weak and couldn’t stand up for long without feeling dizzy. “I was constantly going to the toilet, like every half an hour.” In November, Lolita visited Milton Keynes University Hospital after the pain became unbearable and returned for a CT scan a month later which revealed she was likely to be suffering from pelvic congestion syndrome. “The scan showed my blood vessels were dilated,” she said. “They should not be more than 5mm and one of my veins was already 8mm.” She was told a meeting would be scheduled the following month with a blood specialist and gynaecologist to review the scan and confirm her diagnosis, but that never happened. She said: “I received a letter saying somebody will call me in a month’s time to schedule the appointment. “But I didn’t hear anything back, so I called them and received another letter saying my appointment had been delayed.” This went on until last month when Lolita received a letter saying she would not be able to see a gynaecologist until April 2024 and a blood specialist until June 2024. I feel like I've been locked in a box and told to just stay and wait Lolita Vaciete “I called them in tears and said it was urgent, but they could only move the gynaecologist to February 2024,” she said. “I can’t believe that it takes so long to see a gynaecologist.” While Lolita’s condition is not life-threatening, her world has been turned upside down and there is a chance she will have to have her uterus removed. “Whenever I get my periods, I have to stay in bed because I can pass out from losing too much blood,” she said. “If you look at who I was a year ago and who I am now, it has had a huge impact. “Everything I do has to be simplified and my life has become five times slower.” Even simple tasks like taking Jakob to school, a 20-minute walk down the road, have become an ordeal. “I am a single mum and I don’t have any support around me,” she said. “When my blood starts flowing backwards my blood pressure changes quickly, so I can be washing up and then I suddenly need to sit down.” Lolita was working as a fine dining chef until March but was forced to take sick leave as her condition got worse. “I was working full time but I’ve had to stop because I can’t be in a hot environment or standing for long hours,” she said. “I’m on sick leave but I’m getting paid less and less money. “If it continues I think that I will end up getting into debt this summer. “I’m literally living penny to penny to pay my bills.” Lolita says her condition is extremely severe and is also impacting her son who is not accustomed to seeing her so weak and does not fully grasp the situation. “I’m asking because I’m desperate for me and for my son,” she said. “I have noticed that he has been feeling a little down recently and I think it’s because he is used to seeing his mum as a strong woman.” While waiting for treatment, Lolita has been prescribed strong painkillers to help ease the agony. “That’s how they want to fix me, ‘here, take a tablet and carry on’,” she said. But there is nothing she can do to improve her condition other than avoid certain foods like vegetables which thin the blood. “It just feels as though my life isn’t important enough,” she said. Lolita says her GP suggested the backlog may be due to the NHS strikes announced in November. With nowhere else to turn, Lolita has set up a GoFundMe page and has raised more than £500 of her £4,000 target to pay for treatment called vein embolisation. “I looked at going private but the costs are too big, I just can’t afford it,” she said. “I spoke to my friends and they suggested I start a GoFundMe page. “This money will help me get treatment this year, and I will be able to make beautiful memories with my son this year. “My heart is breaking when he doesn’t understand why I am not the same. “I am suffering alone and losing hope.” To find out more about Lolita’s fundraising, visit www.gofundme.com/f/help-end-lolitas-pain. A spokesperson for Milton Keynes University Hospital said: “Ms Vaciete came in via our Same Day Emergency Care unit for urgent same-day assessment. Following triage by a clinician and a CT scan, Ms Vaciete was booked in for a non-urgent routine outpatient appointment. “This is currently scheduled for February 2024 as the next available appointment. “We are constantly reviewing our waiting lists and aim to bring appointments forward where possible, with patients being seen in order of clinical priority. If Ms Vaciete’s symptoms are getting worse, we would advise that she contact her GP.” Read More Gaining weight before 30 raises cancer risk decades later Teacher, 25, rushed to hospital with stomach ache diagnosed with terminal cancer Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live
2023-05-17 15:49
Yes, Dogs Can Get Sunburned—Here's How to Protect Them
Though fur offers some protection, it's still possible for dogs to get sunburned.
2023-05-16 23:27
Woman’s horrifying buccal fat removal ordeal: ‘I was in excruciating pain’
But Pammie was unaware of how much of a change it would make to her face and urges people not to go ahead with the procedure. Read More Janey Godley shares heartbreaking cancer update as husband reacts: ‘I thought he was being sick’ Bride sparks outrage after documenting everything she ate at her wedding Manspreading remains the most misunderstood of modern evils The vitamins, fruits and vegetables to prioritise as the seasons change A bride has split the internet in half over her wedding menu Gemma Collins urges women to talk openly about incontinence
2023-05-16 22:49
Gemma Collins urges women to talk openly about incontinence
Gemma Collins has called on women to discuss the issue of incontinence more openly to dispel stigma around it. The former Towie star, 42, aims to help women overcome shame or embarrassment around the “taboo” subject in a new campaign. Collins recalled an incident when she first experienced incontinence while playing with her nephew on a trampoline. She told BBC News: “I couldn’t believe it, I was on a trampoline, you know, although I’m 42, I still think I’m 21. “And I was on – and you know, like, with your mums and your aunties, you’ve always heard growing up, ‘Oh my God, I need a pad, I’ve got leaks’ and you’re like, ‘Eugh, I will never get to that stage in my life’. “Well, honeys,” Collins continued. “It’s happening. I got on my trampoline with my nephew Hayden and I was having a great time and literally, I was laughing, I was jumping, and the leak just started happening.” Collins joked that the experience made her feel “officially old”, then added: “No, it’s nothing to do with age, so many women get it. One in three are suffering from it.” According to the NHS, urinary incontinence is the unintentional passing of urine and is believed to affect millions of people. The condition affects twice as many women as men due to pregnancy and childbirth, which can impact the bladder, urethra and other muscles supporting these organs. However, Collins said incontinence shouldn’t stop women from going out and living their lives. “Would I have stopped jumping on the trampoline? Hell, no,” she said. “It is really sad to know that women are stopping doing their activities. They might not want to go on holiday now because of their leaks. They might not want to get on a trampoline with their children or their families because of the leaks.” Collins added: “Nothing’s ever going to stop me from doing anything in my life. But why are women so embarrassed to talk about it still?” The TV personality has spoken candidly about her experiences with incontinence in the past. In 2017, she fell into a trap door in a stage while presenting the Radio One Teen Choice Awards in a moment that went viral online. But the following year, she revealed that the embarrassing moment was made worse by the fact she “wet herself” after the fall. “The worst thing about it was that I wet myself as it was such a shock,” she told OK! magazine. “James [Argent] came running down from the audience to make sure I was OK and all I could think was, ‘I hope he can’t tell I’ve wet myself’. “That hole changed my life, it catapulted me into a meme star,” she added. Read More Janey Godley shares heartbreaking cancer update Dwayne Johnson reveals he’s struggled with ‘three bouts of depression’ Manspreading remains the most misunderstood of modern evils Janey Godley shares heartbreaking cancer update Teacher, 25, rushed to hospital with stomach ache diagnosed with terminal cancer How to check if you have skin cancer: Symptoms and signs to look out
2023-05-16 20:51
The vitamins to prioritise as the seasons change
If your social life has ramped up now that it’s spring, it can be easy to let the little things you do for your health slip a bit. But it’s just as important to ensure you get all the right vitamins and minerals as the seasons change. So what should we be prioritising right now? Vitamin D You may be getting more sunlight now but it is still important to maintain good levels of vitamin D. “Levels of vitamin D will be low at the end of the winter and moving into spring”, Public Health Nutritionist Dr Emma Derbyshire from the Health & Food Supplements Information Service (HSIS) says. “Vitamin D is important for the absorption of calcium and healthy bones and teeth as well as for immune function. “The UK government recommends that we all take a 10 microgram daily supplement throughout the year but especially in winter through to spring. If you haven’t taken vitamin D throughout the winter your levels will likely be low, so top up now with a supplement.” Vitamin C “Vitamin C is a powerful antioxidant,” says Derbyshire. “With warmer weather you will be spending more time outside with more exposure to the outside air. “Vitamin C protects cells from the oxidative damage caused by pollutants. [It] also helps with the absorption of iron. Many women are short of iron particularly during their reproductive years so boosting vitamin C intake helps to reduce the risk of iron deficiency and the tiredness and fatigues that can cause.” You can find it in citrus fruits, tomatoes and peppers. “For those finding it hard to eat their five fruit and vegetables a day, then I would recommend taking a multivitamin and multimineral supplement to ensure your body is fuelled with an a-z of vitamins and minerals including vitamin C and iron,” Derbyshire adds. B vitaminshttps://twitter.com/johnnyxbrown/status/1650549580080066565 B vitamins include thiamin (vitamin B1), riboflavin (vitamin B2) and vitamin B6, niacin (vitamin B3), pantothenic acid, vitamin B6 (also known as pyridoxine) and biotin (vitamin B7). “Vitamins B one, two and niacin help release energy from food and are essential for the health of the nervous system,” says Derbyshire. “[This season] we want to feel energetic and for our nerves to be healthy so that we can best enjoy all the activities we have missed over the winter. These B vitamins help to reduce tiredness and fatigue.” Look for thiamin in peas and nuts, riboflavin in eggs and mushrooms, niacin in meat and wheat flour, and pantothenic acid in avocado and liver. Vitamin B6 can be found in pork, peanuts and bananas, but we only need very small amounts of biotin and the NHS say it’s not clear if we need additional biotin from our diets or supplements. Vitamin B12 Though it is a B vitamin, it is important to look at vitamin B12 independently, says Derbyshire, as it impacts so many different aspects of our health. “Vitamin B12 is essential for several issues we need help with in the spring – from immune function to tiredness and fatigue. “Spring is also a time when you might decide to cut back on the stodgier foods of winter. You might opt for a plant-rich diet which is healthy but if you cut out meat and other animal-source foods you are at risk of vitamin B12 deficiency. “If you decide to make a change to your diet this spring take a multivitamin supplement to make sure you are topped up with the nutrients that could be missing from your diet,” adds Derbyshire. Folate “Folate is vital for immune function which may have taken a battering by springtime. It’s also important for reducing tiredness and fatigue,” says Derbyshire. “Top up your levels by eating kale, broccoli, spinach, chickpeas and a supplement containing folic acid.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live 5 top tips to increase the chances of selling your property faster Drag queen Ella Vaday plans on ‘bringing camp to the campsite’ in 100km trek A beginner’s guide to topiary
2023-05-16 20:50
Teacher, 25, rushed to hospital with stomach ache diagnosed with terminal cancer
A woman who lost her hair to stage four cancer at just 25 had a sun tattooed on her head as a “f*ck you” to the disease. Madison Baloy was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma, a type of cancer that forms in the glandular tissue, in March 2023 after experiencing stomach aches for a year. The former kinder garden teacher was at a music concert with her friends in June 2022 when she started experiencing stomach aches. Over the course of 2022, she lost 60lbs and her tummy pain become more consistent, but she didn’t think anything of it. Madison was teaching in her classroom when she started feeling nauseous and called in the school nurse who told her to go to the emergency room. Madison was told she might have cancer and underwent a CT scan at, HCA Florida Brandon Hospital, Florida, which revealed a cluster tumours pushing down on her large intestine, causing the stomach aches. After an emergency surgery and a biopsy in February 2023, Madison was diagnosed with stage four adenocarcinoma cancer in March 2023. Her cancer can be managed but not cured so she will be living with the disease for the rest of her life. In what she describes as a “f*ck you” to the disease, Madison got a sun tattoo on her head - after losing her hair to the disease. The tattoo took an hour to complete with Madison saying it wasn’t painful. Madison, a former kinder garden teacher who had to give up work due to her illness, from Tampa, Florida, US, said: “Some of my attitude towards cancer is probably naivety. Being 25 and not being able to come to terms with being terminal. “In America, we idolise hustle culture and I was heavily into that culture and prioritised being the best teacher I could. “My diagnosis had made me idolise things differently. “When I first started losing weight, I thought it was god answering my prayers. “I thought the universe was giving me the perfect body - but I was dying and none of us knew. “When I got diagnosed my family were in the hospital room with me, I had a jokey reaction and said my doctor should be paid for giving people bad news. “I said I had no idea why everyone was crying as I would get the coolest head tattoo ever after losing her hair to the disease. “I am in a ‘f*ck it’ mentality. Honestly, what is the worst thing that is going to happen?” Madison was at Bonnaroo Music Festival, in Manchester, Tennessee, US, in June 2022, when she started feeling unwell. While dancing along to Stevie Nicks with her friends, Madison started experiencing stomach aches but put it down to dehydration and being out in the sun all day. After the festival had finished, Madison continued to experience pain in her stomach, which would come in bursts, either lasting a few seconds or a few minutes, but didn’t think anything of it. Madison said: “Over the course of a year, I lost around 50 to 60lbs and had pretty consistent stomach aches. “During President’s Day weekend, my stomach aches were there, and I started getting nauseous. “I went back into school on Tuesday and tried to push through but, on Wednesday I got sick and had to call the school nurse who told me to go to urgent care.” When Madison arrived at Express Care of Tampa Bay medical centre, a nurse told her her stomach aches could be due to cancer and told her to go to the emergency room. After arriving at HCA Florida Brandon Hospital, Florida, Madison was put into a wheelchair and examined. Her CT scan revealed a cluster of tumours pushing down on her large intestine, causing stomach aches. Just 48 hours later, on February 24, 2023, surgeons performed emergency surgery and did a biopsy which revealed Madison had stage four cancer and she spent 10 days in the hospital recovering. Madison said: “They found that I had adenocarcinoma cancer - cancer that forms in the glandular tissue - and found it was spreading around my body. “The biggest struggle has been my body image because I was happy and healthy. “I was 25 years old - I was in my prime, I was teaching, making good money, going out with my friends - I felt amazing. “Then it all flipped and now I have no hair and all these scars on my stomach from the surgery.” Due to the nature of her cancer and how advanced it is, Madison will never be considered cancer-free, but her cancer can be managed. She said: “Now, I am collaborating with two cancer centres in Florida. “My primary cancer clinic is Florida Cancer Specialists, where I have a family of oncology people who take such amazing care of me. “We also work with Moffitt Cancer Center for additional testing and second opinions. “I will have this forever - the best outcome long term is that I will be able to live and take a pill every day and just got in for regular appointments. “It is hard, it is super hard. The hardest part is the reality shift I have had but it hasn’t got me down as much as I thought it would. “I am doing chemotherapy every three weeks and it has been working in the sense that it’s keeping my cancer at bay.” When she received her diagnosis, Madison was surrounded by her family and decided to make light of the situation. “When I got my diagnosis, my family was with me, and I thought I was going to be told I had Crohn’s disease. “My surgeon comes in - wearing his street clothes - and I started joking that he was handsome. “He is looking very serious, and he comes to sit on the edge of the bed, and I told him to buy me dinner first. “He then told me I have stage four cancer and I said I didn’t understand why people were crying as I am gonna get the coolest head tattoo ever.” Madison got her head tattoo on May 4, 2023. She said: “I called my tattoo guy, Nick, and asked about his availability. “I decided on what I would get the night before, I wanted the sun on my head. “I don’t know where I was coming from, but I wanted to get something happy.” Read More Janey Godley shares heartbreaking cancer update as husband reacts: ‘I thought he was being sick’ Woman diagnosed with skin cancer after spotting telltale sign in selfie Hairy Bikers star Dave Myers says one food has helped him return to work after cancer treatment Janey Godley shares heartbreaking cancer update as husband reacts Hairy Bikers’ Dave Myers says one food has helped him with cancer recovery Mother left ‘looking like Freddy Krueger’ reveals first skin cancer warning sign
2023-05-16 17:55
Drag queen Ella Vaday plans on ‘bringing camp to the campsite’ in 100km trek
RuPaul’s Drag Race star and actor Nick Collier, who performs as Dagenham drag queen Ella Vaday, is embarking on a 100km trek with CoppaFeel! alongside celebs including Frankie Bridge and Giovanna Fletcher. The 100km trek is raising funds for breast cancer support, and as his mother has been suffering from breast cancer since 2021, Collier is eager to do his bit.The Drag Race runner-up is really close to his mum. “I am the eldest of three, and me and my mum are very similar in many ways. I left home at 16 to train in dance and musical theatre, but I am always looking out for my mum.” “She has had breast cancer since 2021. She’s actually just finished her treatment and she is nearly there with injections,” he explains. The opportunity to take on this adventure and raise some funds “came at a really great time,” for Collier. “It’s nice to celebrate my mum, as she has had cancer for a second time. This is my way of giving back, celebrating her journey and also putting myself to the test and raising some money.” Many may be thinking the hardest part of this trek would be the actual walking, but as a former dog walker and fitness fanatic, Collier isn’t worried about the fitness aspect, instead, his concerns are “the weather and… sleeping in a tent. I am not looking forward to that, but I am bringing the camp to the campsite,” he jokes. This year, he has taken some time to really focus on his fitness and wellbeing, and is “in the gym five days a week,” improving his strength and stamina as a performer. Since he trained as a performer at Bird College, he has been keen to look and feel good. Collier has faced the physical demands of Drag Race and taken on that challenge, reaching the final. And, with hindsight, he sees just how intense and physical that challenge was. In the competition, he flawlessly impersonated much-loved British culinary sensation Nigella Lawson, performed showstopping live vocals and even dressed up as a striking Dagenham Ford worker. “It was so full on, so intense. You don’t see half of what goes on, with the early mornings and long days, the lack of connection to the normal world. There are elements of mental and physical fatigue,” Collier shares. “It was the best experience ever and I feel like the trek will be similar.” But, ahead of the finale, disaster struck Collier as he sustained an injury to his back. “I was injured for the finale and the morning of the finale I couldn’t even put my socks on, but I had no choice but to get through filming. “That was a moment I had to fight through, to be able to get home to see my partner, Marco, and my family.” Having performed on the West End for several years in shows including The Book Of Mormon and Wicked, while also running his dog-walking business, Collier is no stranger to hard work. His resilience and ability to push through tough times is a trait Collier is proud of, one that will support him in his trek and one that he believes he has really acquired as an LGBTQ+ person. “We have always been faced with obstacles, the first being having to come out, which really sucks,” he explains. “The fact I have to tell people what my sexuality is, is an obstacle. Discovering your identity when you are put in a box, is an obstacle to overcome.” He has also found that despite the acceptance of LGBTQ+ people in the entertainment industry, “in the acting world, as an outwardly gay person, it is hard to get chosen for straight roles and it is really frustrating sometimes,” he explains. This June, Nick Collier will be completing the ‘CoppaTrek! with Gi’ in Hadrian’s Wall Country alongside Giovanna Fletcher, to raise vital funds and awareness for breast cancer charity, CoppaFeel! To donate, please visit coppafeel.org/give. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live A beginner’s guide to topiary Irish premier Leo Varadkar’s partner apologises for ‘poor judgement’ coronation posts 9 actually useful things you can do to support teens this exam season
2023-05-16 15:52
Woman says Specsavers saved her life with routine eye test
A woman who was left “severely epileptic” following multiple brain surgeries and whose seizures often leave her “black and blue” has said “Specsavers saved (her) life” as she had four unexpected and “frightening” convulsions during a routine eye examination and they were able to deliver first aid in her home. Jackie Rice, 56, who lives with her partner of 13 years Louise Cartwright, 55, who is paralysed and uses a wheelchair, was diagnosed with epilepsy about three years ago. As a result of her condition, Jackie, who lives in Harrogate, North Yorkshire, said she takes up to 20 pills every day and does not leave her home as she is “too frightened” that she will have a seizure. She cannot cook as she may burn herself or “set fire to (her) place” if she has a seizure; she has lost her driving licence, and she often sustains severe bruising from “smashing (her) face and head” during convulsions. Her seizures often cause her to wet herself as well, which she said is “embarrassing”. Because she is afraid to leave the house, she is reliant on the support of remote services, such as the Specsavers home eye tests, and is visited by a carer once a week . It was during a recent sight test visit that she had several epileptic seizures and started “banging her head against the wall”. Although she has no memory of it now, she believes she “would have been dead” if the Specsavers team had not visited her home that day. “They saved my life,” Jackie said. “My partner was in a different room, waiting for a carer, so she couldn’t help – it was awful. “I would have been dead – there are no two ways about it because there was nothing Louise could have done.” Nearly three years ago, Jackie said, Louise found her “unconscious in bed” as she had “collapsed”. After being taken to hospital, it was discovered Jackie had a hearing infection and three abscesses on the brain, which she believes were left undetected for a while. Jackie, who does not have any children and no longer works, remained unconscious and underwent three brain surgeries before waking up at Leeds General Infirmary (LGI) three weeks later. She said the procedures have left her deaf in her left ear and severely epileptic, and she now has about one seizure per week. “Four weeks after I had to put my dog to sleep, that’s when Louise found me,” Jackie said. “When I came around, I didn’t know where I was, I didn’t know who I was, or anything. “Because of the operations on my brain, it sent me delirious.” Jackie said she was told she tried to climb out of a hospital window during the recovery period, and she was not discharged until three months later. As a result of her epilepsy diagnosis, Jackie said she now takes up to 20 pills every day, and only leaves the house, accompanied by a carer, for necessary appointments or check-ups. Jackie said she does not know what triggers her seizures, but they often leave her “black and blue”. “The seizures come out of nowhere,” Jackie said. “I’m just recovering from a seizure at the moment – I have black eyes, a busted head and a banged-up face. “I’m black and blue again.” She said she spends her days with Louise, playing Candy Crush on her phone and watching sport on TV – she is a huge Liverpool Football Club fan. She is reliant on remote services to help her look after her health and wellbeing, but she never anticipated that she would have multiple seizures during a recent eye examination at home with Specsavers. All she can remember is starting the eye test and then “coming round in hospital three days later”, which she said was “very scary”. “It really does scare you when you wake up,” Jackie said. “I just thought, oh, where’s Louise? What’s happening? “You have no recollection of where you are.” Domiciliary optometrist Paula Conway, 52, who works for Specsavers based in York, covering the North Yorkshire area, remembers the day vividly. She and her optical assistant Charlotte Wilson visited Jackie’s home on January 13 for the routine eye examination. Just days earlier, on January 9, Paula explained that they had undergone first aid training from instructor Karl Whittaker at St John Ambulance. Little did Paula know that this training would be invaluable when visiting Jackie, as Karl talked in depth about what to do in the event that someone has a seizure. “I was about to proceed with the sight test and, all of a sudden, she just started rocking backwards and forwards, and I just thought, oh, this looks like a seizure,” Paula said. “She started to bang her head against the wall, so I managed to get a cushion behind her, and I knew I had to move all the objects out the way.” Paula said Jackie had four seizures “one after the other”, but with the support of Charlotte, they were able to put a duvet cover down on the floor to protect her. They then placed her in the recovery position while she was unconscious and called for an ambulance, after which paramedics arrived and took Jackie to hospital. While Paula and Charlotte were able to “stay calm” and keep Jackie safe during her seizures, Paula said it was an “extremely frightening experience” and they “both felt quite shaken afterwards”. “I think it was just really lucky that we were there, and we knew how to handle the situation,” Paula said. “Without the first aid training, I really don’t know what we would have done, it could have been a completely different situation altogether.” While Jackie does not remember what happened, she said the team “saved (her) life” – and she feels “very lucky” that Paula and Charlotte were there that day. She has since given them a bouquet of flowers, as a token of her appreciation, and wants to raise awareness of the Specsavers home visits team and the importance of first aid training. “I’d like to say thank you to the team for saving my life and for looking after Louise,” Jackie said. “If they hadn’t have used first aid, I don’t know what would have happened to me, so I think everyone who does home visits needs to have first aid training. “I didn’t know I was going to fit that day, I never know, so it could have been a very different outcome.” For more information about Specsavers home eye tests, visit www.specsavers.co.uk/home-eye-tests. Read More Blind people at risk due to ‘inaccessible’ health information from NHS, charity warns WHO issues warning over using sweeteners for weight control How to check if you have skin cancer: Symptoms and signs to look out for Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live
2023-05-16 14:56
Drew Barrymore shares candid Mothers’ Day post about checking into rehab as a teen
Drew Barrymore has shared a “vulnerable” post about entering rehabilitation treatment at just 13 years old in honour of Mothers’ Day. On Saturday (May 13), the 48-year-old Hollywood star reflected on legally emancipating herself from her parents after a two-year stay at a drug rehabilitation center. In her blog post, the Drew Barrymore Show host also explained how growing up in the spotlight has influenced how she parents her own children. “When I got emancipated by the courts at 14 years old, the umbilical cord was severed, and I have not been the same since,” the Charlie’s Angels star wrote. “It was necessary for me to step away and start to become my own person. And at the age of 14, my own parent.” Barrymore shared that her mother – Jaid Barrymore – admitted her to a youth program for drug rehabilitation when she was 13 years old. The hospital, called Van Nuys Psychiatric, was located in Los Angeles, California. “Once the door shut behind me, my stay lasted almost two years,” she said. “I was in for the long haul. I bonded with a lot of the kids, because like me, they did not know where to put their anger and they did not know how to live life anymore without the need to get high or self-destruct in some form and fashion.” The Never Been Kissed star explained how the rehab center was a “revealing and healing” experience, from meeting with therapists to learning how to set boundaries. “Kids love feeling safe, and having boundaries is one of those crucial bumper rails,” she wrote. “I lived a boundaryless life and job. And this place, as hellacious as it was, it was exactly what I needed from the too much excess my life had become on the outside. “ Her two-year stint at the rehab center also taught Barrymore how to process her own emotions and understand the “foundations of telling your truth”. “Your feelings. Your faults. Your hopes and wishes. Your hurts. What and where you wanted to get to in life. And – very important – who was going to help you on your path and who would you have to let go,” she said. “For me, at the end and when I got out, it was my mother.” Despite winning emancipation from her parents at just 14 years old, Barrymore described how she “found family” in her friends and colleagues. Now, Barrymore has two daughters of her own – Olive, 10, and Frankie, nine – whom she shares with ex-husband Will Kopelman. Still, becoming a mother has brought up her own feelings about her rebellious childhood. “Being a mother constantly triggers everything from my own childhood now,” Barrymore wrote. “I live in an often-petrified state of thinking about my past and wanting to have things different for them. I want them protected. I want them to grow up slowly. I want family around and traditions and rules and boundaries.” While the 50 First Dates star went on to say that motherhood has been the “greatest thing I will ever do in my life without question,” she admitted that she still needs “to continue to figure things out” so that she can “disembark from my past and live in the present”. Barrymore concluded her candid blog post by describing a recent conversation she had with her own mother on Jaid’s birthday: “I texted her. It simply read ‘Happy birthday, Mom,’ and she wrote back, ‘Thank you so much! I’m incredibly proud of you and send you love.’” “It was the biggest gift I could have ever received. To know that she is proud of me,” the actor wrote, before adding a sweet message to her own daughters. “And to my girls… I just hope I can be someone who makes you feel safe. And that you can laugh with. And that you can tell me anything. I’m here for it. I’m in the circle with you… for life.” On Instagram, fans applauded Drew Barrymore for sharing the “open and raw” blog post. “Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing,” said one fan, while another wrote: “You are beyond inspiring.” Drew Barrymore has often spoken about her complicated childhood, ever since she rose to fame in Steven Spielberg’s ET the Extra-Terrestrial when she was seven years old. The child star, whose father John Drew Barrymore was also an actor, has since published multiple memoirs about her experiences with addiction as a teenager, including 1990’s Little Girl Lost and 2015’s Wildflower. In a 2015 interview with The Guardian, Barrymore referred to the youth treatment center at Van Nuys Psychiatric hospital as an “institution”, and revealed that it was the rehab center professionals who suggested she legally separate from her mother and be declared an adult at 14. “It was a very important thing to experience for me. It was very humbling, very quieting,” Barrymore recalled at the time. “Maybe it was necessary, because I came out of there a more respecting person. And my parents didn’t teach me that, and life wasn’t teaching me that. I came out in a very different way… but I still was me.” Most recently, Drew Barrymore shared in an essay last November that giving up alcohol has been “one of the most liberating things in [her] life”. The Ever After star, who previously revealed she hasn’t drunk alcohol in four years, reflected on how important it’s been for her to prioritise herself, even when it has felt “selfish” to do so. “Maybe our definition of love changes throughout our lives, but I truly believe so much love goes outward,” she wrote. “One of the bravest things you can do is slay those dragons and finally change an awful cycle in which you’ve found yourself stuck. For me, it was to stop drinking.” Read More Drew Barrymore mocks her viral dancing in the rain video in Wednesday-themed skit Drew Barrymore reveals she hasn’t been in a relationship since she stopped drinking alcohol Drew Barrymore admits to having a ‘boring’ sex life: ‘I’ve tried everything’
2023-05-16 02:51
9 actually useful things you can do to support teens this exam season
Exam season is underway, and many teenagers might be feeling overwhelmed about the important tests they’re facing over the next few months. “Sitting exams is often one of the most overwhelming and high pressure experiences teens face, and students often put immense pressure on themselves,” says Lara McIvor, a revision expert at Save My Exams. “For parents with children taking exams, it can be difficult to know how best to support their child without being too involved or under-supportive. “As parents and teachers, it should be our mission to ensure students have access to clear support systems, coping mechanisms and study techniques over these challenging few months, and we should all be better educated in the warning signs of stress in teens.” And Matt Buttery, CEO of the Triple P Positive Parenting Programme, adds: “This can be a stressful time, but the good news is that parents can support young people and help remove some of the pressure around exam season. By setting a positive example and encouraging them, you can help ensure they remain happy and healthy, as well as reach their full academic potential.” So what can parents and carers do to actually make the whole exam experience better for teens? 1. Encourage them to chat with you Encourage open communication, and if your teen seems stressed, ask if they’d like to talk through revision together, or more broadly discuss their concerns, suggests Buttery. “It’s important your child knows you’re there for them if they need you,” he stresses. 2. Set up a quiet study area Ensuring your child has an optimum place to study without distractions is vital to their success, McIvor says. “Often concentration can wane, so making sure there are limited external distractions – such as loud music or TV – will allow for the best results and prepare them for their silent exams,” she says. 3. Don’t just rush to make them feel better It’s vital to acknowledge what teenagers are feeling, rather than just trying to make it go away, stresses psychologist Dr Audrey Tang. “One of the most important things anyone can do is validate their right to feel as they do,” she explains. “We’re not very good at sitting with anxiety and often rush to try and make it go away or to feel better, and this can lead us to quick fixes which can include unhealthy behaviour choices such as not bothering to try, often led by unhealthy thoughts like ‘If I don’t try, I can’t fail’.” 4. Help teenagers unpack their feelings Encourage teens to analyse or unpack how they’re feeling about their exams and revision, advises Tang. “If we take a moment to respect our feelings, and try to unpack exactly what we’re worrying about, we may be able to work out what we need to do next,” she explains. For example, is your teen’s anxiety caused by them not understanding some things, and if it is, which specific bits are causing the problem? Or is it linked to knowing their parents are stressed and not wanting to add to it, and if that’s the case, are other services available? “When we begin to unpack our feelings, rather than suppress or deny them, we have a better idea of what action is going to help us the most,” Tang explains. 5. Help with visual prompts Creating an ongoing learning environment throughout the exam period is key, says McIvor. She suggests sticking notes with key quotes, equations, etc on them around the house in places where your child can always see them. “This can be really useful for some students as it allows for constant exposure to materials,” she explains. 6. Avoid ‘toxic positivity’ If a teenager says things like, ‘I’m so stupid’, or ‘I’m rubbish at everything’, it’s natural for parents to tell them they’re brilliant, observes Tang. “Unfortunately, this has the effect of not validating those emotions, and the opportunity to understand what they’re trying to say is lost,” she explains. “A better way to navigate that discussion would be to acknowledge the feeling with something like ‘I’m really sorry you’re feeling that way’, and asking for more information.” 7. Be a good role model Role modelling healthy ways to manage your own anxiety is hugely important, stresses Tang. “Why would you expect a young adult to listen to you if you aren’t showing in your own practice that what you’re suggesting works?” she asks. And Buttery advises parents to lead by example by staying positive and calm when talking about exams. “Avoid using phrases such as, ‘You must be nervous’,” he says, “As you may risk accidentally making an otherwise calm child more stressed. Children learn a great deal about how to manage their behaviour and deal with difficult situations from their parents. By demonstrating calm and resilient behaviour, parents can have a positive influence on their children’s ability to cope with adversity.” 8. Try stressbusting techniques together Tang suggests practising self-care or stressbusting techniques together, such as affirmations with deep breathing. One technique, she says, is to get your child to note down everything they need to do and its relative importance on a pie chart, where the size of the slice shows the importance of the activity. Then ask them to draw on a scale of zero in the centre, to 10 on the outside, where they are in each segment. “This gives them a visual representation of what they need to do, and where they are, as well as an indication of the areas they’re neglecting, and how important those areas are,” she says. “By having everything on one pie chart, it might feel a lot more manageable.” 9. Maintain the family routine Ensuring family dinners and other rituals remain part of daily life can help teenagers cope with exam stress, as routine is predictable and reassuring at a time of pressure and uncertainty. Maintaining structure can also help your child plan their downtime, stresses Buttery, who adds: “It’s important to ensure they’re taking time to relax and unwind, whether by watching their favourite TV show, playing a game, or hanging out with friends.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Children In Need removes Pudsey’s bandana to show not all challenges are visible Is your child too anxious to go to school? What’s the link between the menopause and anxiety?
2023-05-15 22:15