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2023-10-19 14:26
My kids don’t have sushi in their packed lunches – does it make me a bad mother?
I’m standing outside my local cafe in west London, looking bedraggled as I’ve been up since 6.45am making the dreaded school packed lunch. It’s nothing exotic – margherita pizza for Lola, who is a fussy eater, and plain pasta with cheddar cheese and corn on the cob for Liberty. There were all the snacks to pack, too – sadly, no chunks of carrot, just Pom-Bears and breadsticks. I am buying a croissant to add to one of the lunch boxes when I bump into the mum of one of my daughter’s friends. “Oh darling,” she tells me, “it’s all ‘white food’. Not good.” I shrug my shoulders knowingly, then stupidly ask her what’s in her kids’ packed lunches. “Sushi bento box,” comes her instant reply. “Crudites and organic hummus. Japanese panda crackers. Seaweed crackers. Dim sum. Oh, and sandwiches cut into little shapes – I do hearts and stars.” Right. That’s a good start to my morning; I now feel totally inadequate. When it comes to my children, I am a slave to the packed lunch. But gone are the days of stuffing a hard-boiled egg, a jam sandwich or processed cheese triangles into a box – as was the case when I was a child. Even apples have been voted a prehistoric lunchbox item by 17 per cent of parents. Instead, packed lunches are now a status symbol. The actor Hilary Duff, for instance, gives her son caviar for a snack – and it’s not that unusual. One in 10 parents (9 per cent) choose sushi and, according to a recent survey by Amazon Fresh, 26 per cent of parents take a photo of their children’s packed lunch for Instagram. A third (33 per cent) have also admitted they’ve taken a sneak peek inside another child’s lunchbox – and believe me, it’s often to silently snack-shame another parent. I can’t help but wonder if food and snacks are a kind of modern litmus test of parenting. But does it really make you a better parent if you give your child home-cooked wild keta salmon and wholemeal rice in a thermal container for lunch? The playground politics of packed lunches are complex. Parents are constantly criticised for sending inappropriate lunches to school. The TV chef Jamie Oliver once said unhealthy packed lunches are tantamount to child abuse. At the other extreme, parents are finding the time to stamp cucumbers with flowers and dice dried herbs into them for their kid’s bento boxes – then post them online. There seems to be no middle ground. Christina (not her real name) is a 40-year-old PA and tablescaping specialist whose child attends a prep school in west London’s Notting Hill. She makes all of her daughter’s packed lunches from scratch, and it’s always organic produce. “I always wanted to go that extra mile,” she tells me. “My motivation to do this was never to be ‘Queen Bee mum’ – it was to make my daughter happy and proud of me.” The “presentation” and “the taste” of the packed lunches, she says, is “super important” – to such an extent that it needs to be “Instagram-worthy” and “fun” in order to encourage her daughter to eat healthily. One of her lunch box specialities, she adds, is mini American hot dogs “decorated with a little flag and a drizzle of ketchup”. “I know it is always going to be flagged by other mothers because the school is very competitive,” she continues. “This dish goes around the mums like wildfire because mums always want to outdo other mums.” If I put out a post saying how much fibre children should be having, I get people replying saying that ‘it’s unrealistic’ and ‘we can’t do that as well as everything else’ when it comes to kids’ foods. It ends up with parents pitting themselves off against one another with food Charlotte Stirling-Reed, child and baby nutrionist While school playground rivalry among parents used to be about pigtails and bows in your children’s hair, Christina says, now it’s about lunch and snacks. “Kids have a much more sophisticated palate,” she explains. “They’re exposed to a lot more than a ham and cheese sandwich. The playing field has widened, and the bar has been set higher due to social media, and Deliveroo and Uber Eats – everything has become more instantaneous.” For other parents, it’s about making a packed lunch as wholesome as possible – something my children would scoff at. Ella Mills, the founder of the plant-based food brand Deliciously Ella, tells me she has found “batch cooking” easiest for her daughter’s packed lunches at nursery. “It’s a real rush getting everyone dressed, ready and out of the door each morning,” she says. “Plus, thinking of something to cook at 7am that’s got no nuts, no sesame in it [due to possible nut allergies], that I’ll know they’ll eat, and that doesn’t take a little while to make. So I make huge batches of veggie bolognese, bean chilli or sweet potato and chickpea stews plus big batches of grains, then simply heat a portion up and pop it in a thermos. Something that’s pre-made makes a world of difference.” Other parents call in the professionals. Chef Meryem Korkut Avci of Mary’s Mobile Chef Services does “meal preps” for elite customers in west and north London. She sends over an ingredients list and will then come to your home once a week and cook for the whole family – a two-hour session is £120 for six dishes (on the seventh day, her clients usually get a takeaway). For packed lunches, she says gluten-free muffins are popular. “Also egg or chicken fried rice, chilli con carne with tortilla, little mini puff pastry rolls with cheese – or sausage rolls.” She’ll even wash up – and says clients use her because “they don’t have time” or are “bored of their own food”. Dr Megan Rossi, a gut health scientist, bestselling author and founder of the website The Gut Health Doctor and The Gut Health Clinic in London, says an ideal packed lunch would contain something from each of the super-six plant groups: “Legumes (such as chickpeas), vegetables, whole grains (such as oats and barley), fruit, nuts and seeds and herbs and spices. Hitting all these is a tricky one but for optimal health, the goal is for them to have at least one from each of these most days. It’s a great target to have in mind!” She advises “hiding legumes and whole grains in sweet treats like black bean brownies with porridge oats,” and says that “while not a long-term strategy to keep plants a secret, it can help build some confidence and comfort with those plants (as well as training childrens’ taste buds) for you to reveal when the time is right.” For chocolate lovers – like my daughter, Lola – Dr Rossi also suggests “making your own chocolate bars with dried fruits, popcorn, seeds and nuts included for extra dietary fibres and a more satiating treat”. I personally can’t see how I would fit that into my schedule. But for many parents healthy eating is a full-time job. Children may need to be offered a specific food “around 10 times” before they accept it, according to research, while Dr Rossi adds that it means nothing to a child if you merely tell them food is healthy or unhealthy. “Try explaining to them from a young age about the importance of their gut microbes,” she says. “Tell them they need to feed the little pet bugs in their tummy with broccoli, for instance, to help keep them strong.” I often feel ashamed that Lola is a fussy eater – though I find solace in the fact that her younger sister isn’t. Dr Rossi claims that what mums-to-be eat during pregnancy may also affect the kind of food your child will have a taste for. “That could play a part with fussing eating,” she says, but adds that she’s not keen on “mum guilt”: “Pregnancy is hard enough without the added pressure of nutrition.” Charlotte Sterling-Reed, “The Baby and Child Nutritionist”, runs a fussy eater course, and assures me that “parents are not bad parents if they are struggling with a fussy eater at home”. She says she is currently witnessing a backlash from “defensive parents” who are fed up with being told to live up to the “ideal” of being a perfect parent. “If I put out a post saying how much fibre children should be having, I get people replying saying that ‘it’s unrealistic’ and ‘we can’t do that as well as everything else’ when it comes to kids’ foods,” she says. “It ends up with parents pitting themselves off against one another with food.” An extravagant lunchbox is also not realistic for the majority of parents, she adds, “whether working or not, and nor should it be – there is a way to find a balance”. She says that a middle ground is possible. “As parents, [we can] pick something that is balanced but that also works for the family situation. This constant comparison between two extremes on social media makes us feel like we are failing in multiple aspects of parenting.” I don’t think I’m ever going to be posting my kids packed lunches on Instagram. I also know that sliced pepper fingers won’t get eaten even if I arrange them in the shape of a smiley face. More than anything though, I won’t feel guilty about my kids’ food habits any more, or the lengths I sometimes go to to get them to eat healthy – I once told my daughters that if they didn’t drink their freshly squeezed orange juice, their legs would fall off. And, you know what, it worked! Read More Keir Starmer is keeping his children out of the public eye – but that won’t stop them being privileged I’m a jellyfish parent – my run-in with a tiger mum was terrifying Kate Moss credits her stress-free life to ‘moonbathing’ – can eccentric wellness regimes help me too? Vasectomy and British men in their twenties: ‘Young, none and done’ Why taking a mental health day could be bad… for your mental health What the world’s happiest children tell us about where Britain is going wrong
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Adele reveals she’s three months sober after being a ‘borderline alcoholic’ in her 20s
Adele has revealed that she’s three months sober after a period of drinking heavily in her 20s. On Friday 13 October, the “I Drink Wine” singer admitted onstage that she recently gave up alcohol after seeing audience members drinking “a pint” of whiskey sour during her Las Vegas residency show. In a video shared on X, formerly known as Twitter, she told concertgoers at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace: “I stopped drinking… maybe, like, three and a half months ago.” However, Adele - whose full name is Adele Adkins - acknowledged that it hasn’t been easy refraining from alcohol. “It’s boring. I mean, oh my God, it’s boring,” she continued. “I was literally borderline alcoholic for quite a lot of my 20s, but I miss it so much. I cut out caffeine [too].” The singer jokingly added: “So, enjoy your whiskey sour. I’m very, very jealous.” Adele, 35, previously addressed her relationship with alcohol during a performance in March, when she detailed her pandemic drinking habits. “I remember when I came here in Covid, in lockdown. It was 11 am, and I was definitely, like, four bottles of wine in - like we all were,” she revealed, per the Evening Standard. “I said in 2020 that I wanted to put my album out. And we were all at home just drunk basically.” In an interview with Vogue in October 2021, the “Hello” singer admitted that she has a very “close relationship” with alcohol. She explained to the outlet: “I was always very fascinated by alcohol. It’s what kept my dad from me. So I always wanted to know what was so great about it.” Perhaps the singer has recently cut out drinking because she’s been planning a week of celebrations, in honour of her son Angelo’s eleventh birthday on 19 October. She shares Angelo with her ex-husband, Simon Konecki. “This week my son turns 11 years old,” she told the audience on Friday. “Can you believe that? We have got a busy week coming celebrating him. He is very much like me because I take my birthday very seriously.” “So, it is a whole week or a month celebration, which I think everyone should treat their birthday like,” she added. The “Rolling in the Deep” singer noted that her only child “seems to have adopted” very similar habits as her own when it comes to birthday celebrations. “He is like, ‘Can I do this and do that?’” she explained. “I am like, ‘That is very expensive. You are 11. Shouldn’t we be having a tea party still?’” “But you know, 11-year-olds in 2023 are, like, going on 25,” Adele continued, as she joked that her update for next week’s Las Vegas show “will be being a bullied mother”. Between songs, the Grammy award-winning singer often takes moments to banter and chat with audience members, often dropping personal anecdotes and spotlighting lucky fans. Earlier this month, the singer referred to her longtime boyfriend, sports mogul Rich Paul, as her “husband” to the delight of fans. Adele’s Las Vegas residency began on 18 November 2022, and is scheduled to end this fall on 4 November 2023. Read More Adele shows off massive diamond ring amid marriage rumours with ‘husband’ Rich Paul Adele’s boyfriend Rich Paul offers advice for Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Adele says online shopping and ‘making special time’ for boyfriend Rich Paul make her happy Adele shows off diamond ring amid marriage rumours with ‘husband’ Rich Paul Rich Paul responds to Adele marriage rumours after singer calls him ‘husband’ Kourtney Kardashian reveals she and Travis Barker conceived son without IVF
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From pointed collars to gloomy garments: How to dress like Wednesday Addams for Halloween
Wednesday Addams is the Halloween costume you don’t want to miss out on this year. From her dark braids to her panged makeup, the classic gory-loving adolescent girl is the ideal character to assume on the spookiest day of the year. Why? First crafted from the mind of cartoonist Charles Addams, then reimagined in the world of Tim Burton, Jenna Ortega became the “Queen of Creepy” last year when the Netflix series Wednesday quickly became one of the most watched across the globe for the streaming service. Wednesday’s gothic garments mirror her affinity for immoral behaviour and her inherent gloom. Her crisp collars and black ties are codes for what is typically referred to as “ivy-style”, with each suit stitched for the structure of a poised young woman – a contradiction to her otherwise raven-like characteristics and thirst for danger. Not only does Wednesday’s clean uniform aptly juxtapose her morose character, but it’s also very easy to recreate from what you already own in your wardrobe, or could find for cheap. Looking back at the eight-episode thriller, there’s only a few items needed to become the murder-solving Wednesday who’s captured everyone’s attention for the past year. Here’s some outfit options to embody the character of Wednesday Addams for Halloween. The classic schoolgirl Wednesday’s not someone to leave much up to chance. Her routine is consistent – minus the bloody extracurriculars and urge to break rules. However, the psychic prodigy is mainly seen in her Nevermore Academy uniform throughout the show. Just like any school uniform, the get-up consists of a fitted jacket, white button-down, black tie, grey sweater vest, long skirt, and loafers. Most of these items can be found at your local thrift store, if they’re not already hanging in your closet. Don’t worry about colour, Wednesday doesn’t care much for it. If you want to incorporate accessories that fully channel Wednesday’s character, buy a pair of chunky loafers ($70), sew a Nevermore patch ($14.90) onto your pinstripe jacket pocket, make sure your skirt is the same print as the coat, and get yourself a button-down with a long-pointed collar ($13.99). The polka-dot dress A misty cloud was enveloped around Wednesday from the very beginning. Even before she swapped public high school for a school dedicated to the supernatural, Wednesday stuck to dark colours. The polka-dot dress Ortega wore in the very first episode spoke volumes for her character. Walking through the halls and headed straight for the pool, with bags of piranhas ready to eat the flesh of her brother Pugsley’s bullies, Wednesday donned a long black dress with white polka-dots scattered all over. The garment was layered over her trademark sharp collar, and of course, her black tresses were pulled in two tight braids – never to be messed with. If you’re feeling lazy and aren’t up for the second-hand hunt, Amazon’s replica of Wednesday’s dress ($29.99) comes with both the top garment and long-sleeve undershirt. The fair Keeping with her consistent colour palette of black and white, the gifted teenager only swapped her pinstripe Nevermore ensemble for another print on her days off from school. Luckily, embodying Wednesday’s character outside of school is straightforward and effortless if you have black and white mixed into your clothing collection. All you need is a pair of black trousers, platform loafers, a black utility jacket, and a sweater with some monochrome embroidery. To match Wednesday’s look she donned at the fair – where she encountered the hyde for the first time – grab a gray hoodie and striped sweater. Since Wednesday is a girl of habit, most of her out-of-class outfits include variations of the black and white knitwear, like this checkered scoop neck sweater ($41.96). The school dance gown It’s a rarity to see Wednesday with her guard down, following her heart instead of her head. Even when she does, the character’s self-confidence never wavers. Wednesday knows who she is and what she likes, which is why she knew the perfect dress for Nevermore’s dance when she saw it in the window of an old antique store. The chiffon belted gown with a multi-layered skirt, sheer neckline, and buttoned black collar perfectly represented Wednesday’s desire to step out of her comfort zone while still staying true to who she is. It’s the kind of eerie elegance made for a night like Halloween. You can try and find a layered tulle skirt, black belt, and transparent button-up with a black bodice, or you can purchase the exact dress ($28.22). Either way, make sure your hair is pinned in two braids and wrapped around the top of your head. Find an opaque purple lip stain and dot some fake freckles over the bridge of your nose for Wednesday’s shadow-like makeup. If you’re really feeling crazy, switch on “Goo Goo Muck” by The Cramps and give your friends a taste of Wednesday’s ominous dance moves. Read More Halloween pumpkins – how to grow your own From a house party to a movie night, Halloween celebrations that don’t involve going out How to dress like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce for Halloween 2023 11 best kids’ Halloween outfits that will scare and delight 9 best horror stories to read this Halloween and beyond Kourtney Kardashian’s skeletons and other celebrity inspiration for Halloween
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