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Defining Dishes is an IndyEats column that explores the significance of food at key moments in our lives. From recipes that have been passed down for generations, to flavours that hold a special place in our hearts, food shapes every part of our lives in ways we might not have ever imagined. I run a TikTok called @ghostlyarchive, where I share recipes from gravestones mainly across the US that I make and eat. It all started in 2021, while the Covid pandemic was still ongoing. I was studying to be a librarian. One of my classes was about social media and we were tasked with creating a fresh social media account and had to pick a niche. At the same time, for the same library programme, I had to choose a library or an archive to intern with. I found a fairly virtual internship that let me do things safely outside and in person – which was at a cemetery. I ended up interning in a cemetery archives at a congressional cemetery in Washington DC, and this ended up being my social media niche, too. I chose TikTok, which I was new to at the time, and the class required me to post something about my niche every day for three months. So I learnt that there was a whole section of TikTok called “GraveTok”, where there were gravestone cleaners, preservationists and historians posting content, as well as people who just really loved cemeteries and the storytelling around them. I was posting everyday, and when you post everyday, eventually you’re just sharing anything that you come across that’s vaguely interesting. So at first, it was just about the internship, then I moved on to featuring other gravestones in DC. I started sharing any interesting grave or memorial that I was learning about, and that’s how I heard about Naomi Odessa Miller-Dawson’s grave recipe. Naomi has a really beautiful gravestone in Brooklyn, New York. It’s shaped like an open cookbook and features ingredients for her signature spritz cookies, a type of butter cookie that is made using a cookie press. I remember seeing a photo of Naomi’s gravestone and wondering what they tasted like. Because it was during pandemic times, when we had a lot more free time, I had been learning how to cook more and became really curious about this recipe. So I made them, shared the process on TikTok, and it exploded overnight. People were really intrigued by the grave recipe. In the comments, they were asking questions like: “I didn’t know this, who makes these? Are there other gravestones like this?” Or sharing their own experiences saying: “My mum has a really good recipe” or “This is how I make my cookies”. After that, I learned more about who Naomi was and while I was doing that, I was learning about other gravestones with recipes on them that were featured in local blog posts or posted to Twitter, or even on local news. That’s where the project originated. I’ve now made 23 grave recipes, but that first one was such a journey and I’ll remember it forever. The very first time I made the spritz cookies, I baked them incorrectly because there were no instructions on the gravestone and I didn’t know what a spritz cookie was. I made them in little circles and later learned from people commenting on the video that I was supposed to use a cookie press, so I bought one and made them again. They are really beautiful, delicate little butter cookies that you can decorate. I initially thought they were a sort of sugar cookie, because that’s what the ingredient list sounded like to me, but when I figured out what they were and the proper way to make them, it was such a revelation. Eventually, I met Naomi’s family and made her recipe with them. It was so interesting to learn about her family. I felt very honoured that they welcomed me and took the time to talk about who this woman was and what she meant to them. Naomi was the matriarch of her family and an excellent cook. No one was allowed to bring takeaway food into her home because she would say: “I can cook better than anything you can get at a restaurant.” Her son talked about sitting at the counter in her kitchen, just waiting for the cookies to come out of the oven so he could have a freshly baked one immediately, and he did the same thing when we were cooking together. I often think about how the recipes that get put on these graves are such a big part of family food traditions, which is very cool to me. When I met Naomi’s son and granddaughter, who now live in Pennsylvania, we drove past her old house and visited her grave in the cemetery and heard stories about her. I felt close to Naomi, even though I’d never met her. There’s something about food that connects you to so many memories and people of the past. For example, I’ve never met my great-grandparents, but my mother still cooks her grandmother’s recipes and she still talks about this person when she cooks them. It’s a really interesting connection to the tastes, smells and sights that my great-grandmother, who was an Irish immigrant, had. Weirdly, she is actually buried in the same cemetery as Naomi! There is something about food that makes us feel more present with our deceased loved ones. I don’t know what it is, but food has this amazing quality to do that. Other grave recipes that I’ve tried and continue to make include a fudge recipe from Utah and a snickerdoodle recipe from California. I’ve also made two grave recipes from Israel, which were both written in Hebrew. One of them just had the ingredients on it and his widow told the press that if you know how to cook, you’ll know what to do with them. Well, apparently I don’t know how to cook because I had no idea! Luckily, I work part time at the American Jewish University and their librarians both read and speak Hebrew, so they helped me translate the grave. They decided it was a type of mildly sweet yeasted bread and I’ve made it a few times now, it’s really delicious. My friends have asked for that one very frequently because it’s really an objectively good bread. Most of the recipes that end up on graves tend to be baked goods, or sweet recipes, there are a lot of cookies, cakes, pies, cobbler, ice cream. There are a few savoury ones, like a meatloaf, two cheese dips, and a chicken soup. But the rest of them are pretty much desserts. I think they are chosen according to what is comforting for those who are still around. They think: “My grandma made this thing and I immediately associate that thing with her, or my mum or dad, or whoever”. They have a signature dish and get excited when they think about it, and I think that’s how they choose what to put on the grave. Rosie Grant is an archivist currently living in Los Angeles. She visits cemeteries with grave recipes whenever she travels, and shares her process for making these recipes on her TikTok, @ghostlyarchives. Read More The dish that defines me: Michele Pascarella’s Neapolitan ragu The dish that defines me: Evelin Eros’s rum cake The dish that defines me: Mallini Kannan’s baked honey-soy salmon Is there such a thing as British pizza? Courgette season is nearly over – here’s three ways to make the most of them How to cook to keep your gut healthy

Italy is removing children from registers and stopping surrogacy abroad in new rules affecting same-sex couples.

Gisele Bündchen has spoken candidly about ex Tom Brady, with the model confessing that their divorce is not something she ever “dreamed of”. The Brazilian model, 43, reflected on getting divorced in 2022, after 13 years of marriage, during a preview of her upcoming interview with CBS News Sunday Morning, which will air on 24 September. After expressing that she wouldn’t “change anything” about the experiences she’s had in her life, correspondent Lee Cowan chimed in and asked: “Not even your divorce?” In response, she noted that while she never thought that she’d get a divorce, after seeing how long her own parents have been together, she’s still come to terms with her split. “I mean, it’s not what I dreamed of and what I hoped for," she said. “My parents have been married for 50 years, and I really wanted that to happen. But I think you have to accept, you know, sometimes that the way you are in your 20s, it’s sometimes you grow together, sometimes you grow apart.” Bündchen went on to acknowledge that the former NFL star will continue to be a part of her life, since they share two children, son Benjamin, 13, and daughter Vivian, 10. Brady also shares a 16-year-old son, John, with ex Bridget Moynahan “I mean, he’s the father of my kids, you know?” she added. “So, I always wish him the best, and I’m so grateful that he gave me wonderful children.” In October 2022, Bündchen and Brady announced they were divorcing after over a decade of marriage. The move also came weeks after it was previously reported that the athlete and former supermodel had hired divorce lawyers. “We arrived at this decision amicably and with gratitude for the time we spent together,” he wrote on his Instagram Story.“We are blessed with beautiful and wonderful children who will continue to be the centre of our world in every day. We will continue to work together as parents to always ensure they receive the love and attention they deserve.” Bündchen later issued a statement of her own to Instagram, writing: “With much gratitude for our time together, Tom and I have amicably finalised our divorce. My priority has always been and will continue to be our children whom I love with all my heart. We will continue co-parenting to give them the love, care and attention they greatly deserve.” In her statement, she acknowledged that the decision to end a marriage is “never easy,” but that she and Brady have “grown apart”. “And while it is, of course, difficult to go through something like this, I feel blessed for the time we had together and only wish the best for Tom always,” she continued. “I kindly ask that our privacy be respected during this sensitive time.” Since the divorce, Bündchen has continued to speak out about her relationship with her ex. Earlier this week, she reflected on the challenges her family has experienced since the divorce. “It’s been very tough on my family. It’s been a lot - in every area of my life,” she said during an interview with People, published on 18 September. After finalising her divorce in October 2022, she relocated her family to Florida for Brady’s three-season stint with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. While the model has now settled down in Miami, she was reportedly helping her two ailing parents at the same time. “I feel like whenever it rains, it pours,” Bündchen explained to the outlet. “With all the different twists and turns that life takes, all we can do is the best we can given what happens in our surroundings.” During an interview with Vogue Brasil, published last month, she opened up about maintaining a positive outlook on life after her divorce from the quarterback. “I’ve always believed that every situation, no matter how challenging, teaches us something and helps us grow,” she said. “Breakups are never easy, especially when the media is speculating every step of the way. I tried to focus on my children, my health and my projects and dreams.” In March, Bündchen also explained how she and Brady are navigating co-parenting. “We’re not playing against each other,” she told Vanity Fair. “We are a team, and that’s beautiful. I look back and I have no regrets. I loved every bit of it.” Read More Gisele Bündchen opens up about ‘tough’ times nearly one year after Tom Brady divorce Gisele Bündchen reveals why she hasn’t had alcohol in two years Tom Brady responds to viral photo of him at Blackpink concert Gisele Bündchen opens up about ‘tough’ times nearly one year after Tom Brady divorce Gisele Bündchen reveals why she hasn’t had alcohol in two years Dwyane Wade ‘tried to break up’ with Gabrielle Union after fathering baby with woman

Dwyane Wade has revealed that he initially “tried to break up” with Gabrielle Union, before telling her that he fathered a child with another woman. In a recent appearance on Shannon Sharpe’s Club Shay Shay program, the former NBA star, 41, reflected on how he told his now-wife about his son, Xavier Zechariah, who he welcomed in 2013 with Aja Metoyer when he and Union were broken up. He started off by recalling how scared he was to tell Union about him and Metoyer before the news went public. “You know that this is going to hurt someone you’ve been building a relationship and life with,” he said. “You gotta sit with you and you gotta sit with this person if this is who you’re going to be with. I had to sit with my wife and have this conversation.” He went on to praise the Bring It On star for standing by his side, as he told her about having his son in the middle of his busy basketball career. “I couldn’t have gotten through that moment without her sticking with me,” the Olympian said. “We were in the playoffs, I think we were even going into the finals. That was a rough time for me…You got a lot on your mind. You’re keeping something from people you love. It’s heavy.” Wade then confessed that when he first had that conversation, he tried to avoid bringing it up, and even attempted to end things with the actor. “I tried to break up with her. Like: ‘Hey things have been bad lately, we’ve been having a little distance in our relationship anyway,’” he recalled. “I tried all of that.” However, he said that Union “kept showing up” for him, and they continued moving forward. He also acknowledged that since welcoming Xavier, his relationship with his wife “hasn’t been perfect,” before noting that they still “go to therapy”. “We’ve been to therapy, we’ve had shouts about it,” he said, referring to how he’d fathered his son with Metoyer. “We’ve had regular conversations. And so, it’s going to continue to be something that I have to work at and work on. It doesn’t go away because years come, or because I say: ‘Sorry.’” Elsewhere in the interview with Sharpe, Wade also expressed that he’s had concerns for Xavier, explaining that “it’s hard” for his child to be associated with the headlines that came from his parent’s relationship. “It’s going to always be there. He’s done nothing. It’s a stain that’s on him for no reason,” the former Miami Heat player said. After noting that he and his wife are either “going to get through it” or “ain’t going to get through it”, he emphasised that he’s still continued to think about his nine-year-old son, who already “has a negative impact next to his name”. “He hasn’t even had a chance to accomplish something, and he already has a negative next to his name because of how he was brought into this world,” he said. However, he still expressed his gratitude for his family and acknowledged that they’ll “get through” challenges together. Union and Wade went on to get married in 2014, before welcoming their daughter, Kaavia, via surrogate in 2018. In addition to his child with Metoyer, Wade shares two children, Zaire, 21, and Zaya, 16, with ex-wife Siovaughn Funches. He’s also the legal guardian of his nephew, Dahveon Morris, 21. This isn’t the first time Wade has recalled how he told Union about his child with another woman. During his 2020 ESPN documentary, Wade: Life Unexpected, he first described how difficult it was to have that conversation with his now-wife. “Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do is man up and tell Gabrielle Union that I’ve had a child with somebody else. I couldn’t sleep. I wasn’t eating,” he said during the documentary, as reported by Entertainment Tonight. “When you hold something in that you know is going to come out and you have this information and you know it’s gonna f**k somebody’s life up, that you care about, that you love, if it don’t hurt you, then you’re not human.” In her 2021 book, ​You Got Anything Stronger?, Union first opened up about the “trauma” of her husband having a baby with another woman. “It should go without saying that we were not in a good place at the time that child was conceived,” she wrote “But we were doing much better when he finally told me about the pregnancy. To say I was devastated is to pick a word on a low shelf for convenience.” Despite her devastation, the actor acknowledged that there have been countless people who have been upset with her decision not to talk about the birth of her husband’s son, with Union explaining that she had “not had words”. “There are people – strangers I will never meet – who have been upset that I have not previously talked about that trauma. I have not had words, and even after untold amounts of therapy I am not sure I have them now,” she wrote. Read More Dwyane Wade recalls daughter Zaya Wade being ‘scared’ and hiding from him after coming out Gabrielle Union reveals how she conquered her fear of being a ‘bad mom’ Dwyane Wade says his family left Florida because anti-trans laws made it so they ‘would not be accepted’ Katherine Heigl opens up about decision to raise children in Utah Researchers link ultra-processed food and drink to risk of depression in women Shakira opens up about co-parenting her two sons with ex Gerard Piqué

Consuming large amounts of ultra-processed foods could be linked to depression, according to a new study published in the Journal JAMA. Ultra-processed foods are usually high in salt, sugar, hydrogenated fats and additives. This includes ice cream, sausages, crisps, biscuits and soda. The study looked at the eating habits and mental health of more than 31,000 female nurses as part of the Nurses’ Health Study II, a long-term research project on various aspects of women’s health. To better understand the links between depression and foods, researchers started the study before participants reported any symptoms of depression and then followed them over time. This allowed the team to make a connection between a person’s diet and their mental health. Results showed women who consumed over nine portions a day of ultra-processed foods had a 50 per cent higher risk of developing depression than those consuming four portions or less. Participants who consumed a high amount of foods and drinks that contained artificial sweeteners had a particularly negative outcome, the study found. "Participants with high UPF intake had greater BMI, higher smoking rates, and increased prevalence of comorbidities like diabetes, hypertension, and dyslipidemia and were less likely to exercise regularly," the study said. “Experimental studies have shown that artificial sweeteners may trigger the transmission of particular signalling molecules in the brain that are important for mood,” the authors continued. Professor Andrew Chan, chief of the clinical and translational epidemiology unit at Massachusetts General Hospital and co-author of the research, said: “The strength of our study is that we were able to assess diet several years before the onset of depression,” according to The Guardian. “This minimises the likelihood that our findings are simply due to individuals with depression being more likely to choose ultra-processed foods.” In a 2022 study, researchers linked ultra-processed food and cognitive decline. CNN reported that the study found eating those foods may affect parts of the brain that control executive function — such as the ability to process information and make decisions. The research also found that men and women who ate the most ultraprocessed foods had a cognitive decline rate 28 per cent faster than those who did not eat those foods. They also had a 25 per cent faster decline rate of their executive functions than their peers who did not eat ultraprocessed foods. What are the symptoms of depression? According to the Cleveland Clinic, some of the symptoms of depression include: Feeling very sad, hopeless or worried. Not enjoying things that used to bring joy. Being easily irritated or frustrated. Eating too much or too little — which may result in weight gain or weight loss. Trouble sleeping (insomnia) or sleeping too much (hypersomnia). Having low energy or fatigue. Having a difficult time concentrating, making decisions or remembering things. Experiencing physical issues like headache, stomachache or sexual dysfunction. Having thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Read More Yoghurt could be the cure for bad garlic breath, study finds Study finds link between ultra-processed food and cognitive decline

Katherine Heigl has reflected on her decision to raise her children away from the spotlight. The Grey’s Anatomy alum, 44, recently opened up about her newfound life in Utah, where she lives with her husband Josh Kelley and their three children: daughters Naleigh, 13, and Adalaide, 11, and son Joshua, six. During Thursday’s episode of Today with Hoda & Jenna, Heigl revealed that the idea to settle down outside of Hollywood actually came from her mother, Nancy. “People might see you and think: ‘I bet you live in Hollywood, where most people live in your profession.’ But I love where you lay down your life,” co-host Hoda Kotb told Heigl, before asking: “What made you decide to do that? And what do you get out of it?” The 27 Dresses star replied: “You know, it’s odd. I think some people are mountain people and I think some people are beach people. I’m sort of a mountain person and have always been that way.” “My mom realised, because we went out to LA when I was 17 and hustled and hustled for years, right? And I think she realised at a certain point that I needed somewhere to escape to and kind of clear my head and that grounded me,” Heigl recalled. “So we started trying to find, and dreaming about trying to find, that perfect place. And we found Utah and then I started making enough money to be able to afford to do that.” Heigl, along with her husband, were able to build their dream home on a “beautiful ranch in Utah”. While the couple expected to use the residence as a quick getaway, the actor and musician began to spend so much time there that it turned into their forever home. “We built these houses in Utah that we expected to be more kind of vacation homes, or when I could get away from the hustle and all the work, and we just started spending more and more time there,” she explained. “It was my husband who finally made it his primary residence on his driver’s license and stuff, and we went: ‘Yeah, I think this is our primary residence. We live here now.’” Kotb and Bush Hager went on to ask Heigl whether she feels “at peace” in Utah, and if it’s been “the perfect place” to raise her children. While the Knocked Up star admitted that their ranch is ideal for her, her children do sometimes wish they lived a busier life. However, Heigl revealed the piece of advice she gives her kids whenever they wish for something more. “I said to them: ‘I understand that you are sacrificing that in some ways but I still think it was the right choice for our family, because I am more centered and aware of what’s going on in your life,’” she explained. “It’s a smaller town, I know who your friends are, who you are spending time with, I know what’s up with school. It’s just easier to keep my finger on the pulse.” The Firefly Lane star went on to share some details about her children, who are growing older right before her eyes. When speaking about her daughter Adalaide, Heigl said: “My 11-year-old is all, can I say this, piss and vinegar. She is spicy.” As for her oldest daughter, Naleigh, she remarked: “My almost 15-year-old, which is blowing my mind. My freshman in high school - I don’t know how it happened. Everyone says: ‘Oh, it goes so fast, it goes so fast.’” “It doesn’t just feel that way, it is. It does,” Heigl emphasised. “You can only hold on to it as much as you can and don’t beat yourself up too much, if you feel like you’re not present enough. It really just goes.” In 2005, the actor met her soon-to-be husband on the set of a music video for Kelley’s song, “Only You”. In a 2016 interview with Billboard, Kelley recalled meeting Heigl for the first time. “I remember the day we met: May 24, 2005,” he said. “I had just bought a house here in Nashville. The day after I signed the papers, I had to fly back to LA to do this music video.” “I showed up that day, we started doing our scenes together, and we just hit it off. We’ve been together ever since that day,” he continued. They were engaged the following year in 2006, and tied the knot at a luxury ski resort in Park City, Utah, in December 2007. Heigl and Kelley became parents in 2009 when they adopted daughter Naleigh Mi-Eun from South Korea. In 2012, they adopted daughter Adalaide from Louisiana and welcomed their biological son, Joshua Bishop Kelley Jr, in 2016. Read More Katherine Heigl says she ‘felt betrayed’ by Hollywood backlash to Grey’s Anatomy and Knocked Up comments Katherine Heigl says she ‘never saw’ daughter Naleigh after adoption Katherine Heigl shares heartwarming photo of kids in celebration of National Adoption Month Researchers link ultra-processed food and drink to risk of depression in women Shakira opens up about co-parenting her two sons with ex Gerard Piqué Comedian Ashley Blaker on why he wants to ‘change the conversation’ around children with special needs

Shakira has spoken candidly about co-parenting her two children with ex Gerard Piqué. The singer, 46, opened up about raising her sons – Milan, 10, and Sasha, eight – in an interview with Billboard published on 21 September. She described some of the challenges she had throughout the last year, while managing her responsibilities as both a singer and mother. “The last time I released an album was six years ago,” she said. “Now I can release music at a faster clip, although sometimes I think being a single mom and the rhythm of a pop star aren’t compatible. I have to put my kids to bed, go to the recording studio; everything is uphill.” Shakira addressed how she’s adjusting to being a single parent, after announcing her breakup with the Spanish soccer star last year. She also expressed how important it is for her to be involved in her sons’ lives. “When you don’t have a husband who can stay home with the kids, it’s constant juggling because I like to be a present mom and I need to be there every moment with my children,” she said. “Take them to school, have breakfast with them, take them to play dates. And aside from that, I have to make money.” The “Waka Waka” singer continued to poke fun at the stresses of being a working mother, noting that she’s only had the chance to go to the gym “a couple of times” throughout the last year. She also quipped about needing to take some downtime in the midst of her busy schedule. “I don’t know how long it’s been since I got a massage. I have torticollis!” she said. “Something’s got to give. My neck. My traps. That’s what gives. It’s hard to do everything.” In June 2022, the Colombian singer and the former professional footballer announced their separation after 11 years of dating. Shakira – who recently moved from Spain to Miami with her children – also reflected on ending her relationship with Piqué. She noted that she once believed in that “till death do us part” with her former partner, describing it as a “dream” she had for herself and her children. She acknowledged that while her relationship didn’t work out, she has continued to move forward in the hopes of finding a marriage that’s similar to her parents’ relationship. “My parents have been together for, I don’t know, 50 years, and they love each other like the first day, with a love that’s unique and unrepeatable. So I know it’s possible,” she said. “My mom doesn’t leave my [sick] father’s side. They still kiss on the mouth. And it has always been my example. It’s what I wanted for myself and my children, but it didn’t happen. If life gives you lemons, you have to make lemonade. That’s what I’m doing: making lemonade.” When asked if she’d one day look back on the challenges that she’s faced “in a positive light”, Shakira said she didn’t think that anything “can compensate for the pain of destroying a family”. However, she still said that her family has kept her motivated, as she’s adjusted to everyday life without Piqué by her side. “Of course, I have to keep going for my children’s sake; that’s my greatest motivation,” she said. “But my biggest dream, more than collecting platinum albums and Grammys, was to raise my sons with their father. Overcome obstacles and grow old together. I know I’m not getting that now.” She also told Billboard that throughout the last year, one surprising thing she’s learned about herself is just how strong she is. Shakira specified that she previously thought that she was “weaker,” given how she “used to crumble before the stupidest problems”. “I’d create a drama because I chipped my tooth or that kind of stuff. But maturing, going through truly difficult things, gives you a sense of perspective and empathy,” she said. “You learn how to value the good moments and how not to amplify the bad ones.” In April, the “Hips Don’t Lie” singer first took to Instagram to reflect on her last nine years living in Spain with Piqué, as she announced her move to Miami. “I settled in Barcelona to give my children stability, the same we are now looking for in another corner of the world next to family, friends and the sea,” she wrote in the post, which was translated from Spanish to English on Instagram. “Today, we start a new chapter in the pursuit of their happiness.” Months before her move, Shakira had also opened up about how she’s been prioritising herself and her children. During an interview with En Punto con Enrique Acevedo in February, she said she experienced a change in perspective, confessing that she once believed that a woman needed a man to complete herself. “I’ve always been very emotionally dependent [on men] – I have to confess this. I was in love with love,” she explained. “One way or another, I’ve managed to learn it from another perspective and feel that I’ll be fine on my own. When a woman has to face [hardships] in life, she comes out stronger. When you come out stronger it means you’re learning to recognise your weaknesses and accept your vulnerability.” She acknowledged how “complete” she feels with her children by her side, adding: “I feel like I can depend on myself and I have two kids who depend on me.” Meanwhile, Piqué broke his silence about his ex in March, only months after he went Instagram official with his new girlfriend, Clara Chia Marti. During an interview with Spanish El Pais, he discussed why he didn’t publicly address his breakup with Shakira. ​​“Everyone has their responsibility to try to do what is best for their children,” he explained. “It is about protecting them. That is the job of all parents with children. That is what I am focused on and that is my job as a father.” Read More Shakira spotlights nanny ‘fired’ by ex Gerard Piqué in new music video Shakira attends VMAs alongside her two sons she shares with ex Gerard Piqué Taylor Swift and SZA lead 2023 MTV Video Music Award nominations Taylor Swift and Shakira lead the charge in slit dresses at the 2023 MTV Video Music Awards Shakira attends VMAs alongside two sons she shares with ex Gerard Piqué Comedian Ashley Blaker on why he wants to ‘change the conversation’ around children with special needs

Parenting is hard enough when you only have one or two children. So imagine how tough it can be when you have six kids – which is the case for comedian and television producer Ashley Blaker. Blaker, who’s worked on shows including Little Britain and starred in the Radio 4 series 6.5 Children about his family, has six children aged between nine and 19, two of whom have autism and ADHD, and one, who’s adopted, with Down’s Syndrome. But despite the busy load, he’s keeping a smile on his face – although he wholeheartedly admits that family life for him and his wife Gemma, a headteacher, can be challenging, particularly in relation to caring for their 15-year-old daughter Zoe, who has the mental age of a four-year-old. “We’ve really worked hard to support each other, and to make our family work,” he says. “There have been many, many times that things go a bit wrong. We have so much to worry about, it’s actually often the small stuff that gets us. “Being a parent can put you in a vulnerable place, and it can be the very littlest thing that throws everything awry. When a child has a meltdown or the support you were expecting didn’t arrive or whatever, then it can throw a massive spanner in the works.” Blaker, 48, explains that his eldest son Adam, now 19, was diagnosed with autism and ADHD when he was three – he had speech delay and was completely non-verbal until age six, ate a very restricted diet, and “he was very hard to control, very wild – he had a lot of behaviour issues”, his dad shares. His third son Dylan, now 16, was diagnosed with autism and ADHD at age six, and Blaker says both boys’ diagnoses benefitted the whole family. “It’s been a very, very helpful thing,” he explains. “My third son in particular has a very positive attitude towards his diagnosis – he loves having autism, and his diagnosis has allowed him to navigate his life in a more serene way.” The diagnoses have also helped the boys get extra support at school, and medication, and have definitely been a positive for Blaker and his wife as parents. “From our point of view as parents, it’s allowed us to go – ok, we’re not just inadequate parents,” says Blaker. “It would have been very easy to view ourselves as very bad parents, so getting that diagnosis was a very important and positive step towards being kinder to ourselves.” Despite the undeniable challenges of raising the four children they had at the time, the Blakers decided to adopt Zoe when she was two, when many couples may have shied away from adopting a child with Down’s syndrome. Why did they decide it was the right choice for them? It’s a question Blaker can’t really answer, admitting that he and his wife weren’t even considering adoption – but saw a local council advert about Zoe and answered it. It turned out to a life-changing decision both for her and for them, that they have absolutely no regrets. “She brings us unbelievable joy – she’s the greatest blessing in our life,” he says. “She’s in many ways the most impressive member of our family – probably because she’s the only one who shares none of my genes,” he jokes. “There are many challenges, but there’s such a wonderful innocence about her that sets her apart from most 15-year-old girls. She’s not on Snapchat, she’s not on the phone all night, she’s never made me take her to see Harry Styles in concert. She’s an absolute joy to be with – you can make her laugh incredibly easily, she’s the easiest audience in the world.” But despite the absolute joy Zoe and her brothers and younger sister bring to their parents, there’s no denying the Blakers’ family life is a long way from ‘normal’ – which is one of the reasons Blaker has just written a book about his unusual family, Normal Schmormal (HarperCollins, £16.99). “I really wanted to write the book that I wish I’d read 16 years ago, when my eldest son was diagnosed,” he says. “I read a lot around the subject at the time, and it was very depressing and worrying. I wanted to change the conversation a little bit on the subject of children with special needs, from being something depressing and worrying to something that’s positive, and makes our family who we are. Who wants to be normal anyway?” After Blaker finished writing the book, he was himself diagnosed as autistic with ADHD, at age 48. “Especially now I have my own diagnosis, I feel even more that it’s like: who wants to be normal anyway?” he says. “I’d lived with autistic sons over 18 years, but it was somehow only on writing about them and their hyper-fixations and sensory needs and social awkwardness that I thought I could have been writing about myself. “So I thought I’d like to at least find out – I think everyone, children included, has a desire to understand themselves, to know who they are, and explain certain aspects of their life.” So, how did his two autistic sons react when they learned their dad shared their conditions? “My eldest son was completely disinterested,” he says, “but my third son found it kind of funny. His exact words were, ‘I always knew there was something wrong with your semen’. But I do think that for both of them, it’s deepened our bond.” It’s impossible not to admire Blaker and his wife for their dedication to their family and the decisions they’ve made. Blaker concedes that he’s proud of himself – but “even prouder of my children”. He says being incredibly organised and having set routines – which he points out that kids, particularly those with special educational needs, love – has really helped the family over the years. But have he and Gemma ever had time for a break? In the past they’ve taken holidays without each other, leaving the other parent with the kids, just to get time away, he says. But he thinks taking a break is vital for carers, be they parents or otherwise, which is why he’s supporting Sense, the charity for people who are deafblind or have complex disabilities, with a new campaign highlighting the issue. The charity found 65% of carers are burnt-out or exhausted. “It’s really important to get a break, and it’s another reason why diagnoses can be crucial, because it opens up a wealth of help, like respite care,” says Blaker. “There’s a lot of help out there, but those things often need diagnoses. It’s like the magic key that opens everything up.” Ashley Blaker is supporting Sense’s new Give Carers a Break campaign. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Moschino celebrates 40 years of fashion with spectacular catwalk show From tailoring to florals: 5 key fashion trends to know for autumn/winter Cue the damson decor trend to snug up your space

A woman is suing Starbucks for “false and deceptive practices” over claims that the coffee company’s iced, fruit-filled refresher beverage actually contains no fruit. Joan Kominis from Queens, New York, filed a complaint in August 2022 after learning that Starbucks’ Strawberry Acai Lemonade Refresher contained no actual acai. Court documents filed in the southern district of New York claim that “unbeknownst to consumers, the Mango Dragon Fruit and Mango Dragon Fruit Lemonade Refreshers contain no mango, the Pineapple Passionfruit and Pineapple Passion Fruit Lemonade Refreshers contain no passionfruit, and the Strawberry Açaí and Strawberry Açaí Lemonade Refreshers contain no açaí.” Kominis and her co-plaintiff, Jason McAllister of California, are seeking damages in excess of $5m. Starbucks has since called the allegations “inaccurate” and “without merit”. On Tuesday 19 September, US District Judge John Cronan rejected Starbucks’ request to dismiss nine of the 11 claims in the class-action complaint because “a significant portion of reasonable consumers” would assume that the beverages in question would contain the fruit in their names. The plaintiffs have said the main ingredients in these beverages were water, grape juice concentrate, and sugar. They claim the refreshers “differ from other Starbucks products” in that the product doesn’t contain items in their name. “Starbucks’ hot chocolate contains cocoa, its matcha lattes contain matcha, and its honey mint tea contains honey and mint,” reads the complaint. While they noted that the refresher drinks do in fact contain freeze-dried pieces of strawberries, pineapple and dragon fruit, they claimed that Starbucks “does not affirmatively indicate anywhere which ingredients are and are not in the products.” Starbucks had said that the fruits mentioned in the refreshers titles are meant to “describe the flavours as opposed to the ingredients.” Judge Cronan disagreed, writing in his ruling: “Nothing before the Court indicates that ‘mango,’ ‘passionfruit,’ and ‘açaí’ are terms that typically are understood to represent a flavour without also representing that ingredient.” In Kominis’ original filing, she claimed that she was going to buy a Strawberry Açaí refresher specifically for the açaí benefits. The suit stated that açaí berries and juice “are known to provide benefits to heart health, cognitive function, and contain anti-cancerous properties.” “Had she known that the product did not contain açaí, she would not have purchased it, or would have paid significantly less for it,” the document read. Kominis said that she and other consumers bought these menu items and “paid a premium price” based on Starbucks’ naming of the refreshers, and would either not have purchased them or “paid significantly less for them” had they been aware they were missing one of the named fruits. “The allegations in the complaint are inaccurate and without merit,” a Starbucks spokesperson told Today. “We look forward to defending ourselves against these claims.” One claim of fraud and another for unjust enrichment were dismissed from the suit, but Starbucks will have to face the rest of the allegations. The Independent has contacted a spokesperson for Starbucks for comment. This is the second lawsuit an American food chain has faced in recent weeks. Earlier this month, Burger King was sued over claims that the company misled customers by making its Whopper burger appear larger on the menu than how it appears in reality. Read More Citing sustainability, Starbucks wants to overhaul its iconic cup. Will customers go along? Starbucks cheers ‘good progress’ in plan for 100 new UK shops Ed Sheeran serves up Pumpkin Spice Lattes to surprised Starbucks customers Courgette season is nearly over – here’s three ways to make the most of them Top international cuisines Brits are keen to try Subway enthusiasts stew over launch of first ever 3-inch sandwich

The European Commission has sent a letter to Poland asking for "clarifications," amid reports that Polish officials have been involved in an alleged cash-for-visas scandal.

Amy Dowden has shared “the hardest step” of her cancer journey with fans as she shaved her head. The Welsh dancer, who has competed on Strictly Come Dancing since 2017, was diagnosed with breast cancer in May. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy. Dowden, 33, has been documenting the journey for her fans, and recently described in a candid video how she “cries every day” as her hair falls out due to treatment. On Thursday (21 September), with Dowden over halfway through her chemotherapy, the dancer made the brave decision to “take control” and shave her head. In a montage shared on Instagram, Dowden was shown dabbing at her eyes while her “loved ones” cut off chunks of her hair down to a short, cropped style. The remaining hair was then shaved off, with the Strictly star growing more emotional and pausing to cover her face with her hands. However, she was in the end shown admiring the end results in the m “This too shall pass,” Dowden wrote, before describing the haircut as “the hardest step so far”. “I tried my best to save it. I know it’s only hair but these past few months I’ve had what feels like so much taken away from me that has made me not feel like Amy. I’m missing every possible aspect of dancing. I just wanted to keep my identity with my hair and I tried telling myself it wouldn’t go. But I would dread the pain of waking up to the shredding everyday.” She continued: “I’ve not been able to take control of this journey so far, but as you can see with some of my loved ones I took the courage and CONTROL. “It’s going to take some time to get use to and learn to love and embrace but, I’m now focusing – not on the hair I’m losing but the hair I’m going to get back and the happy dancing, tea lover who talks way to fast whilst rolling every rrrrr who is still there inside with or without hair!” Dowden said that she could now “see the finish line” after shaving her head, explaining: “This for me was a hurdle I couldn’t even bring myself to think or speak about. I’ve done it and I’ve also crossed the halfway chemo line! I’m feeling empowered and positive!” Dowden’s fellow Strictly pro Dianne Buswell commented: You are still all the things you were before, just with added courage, strength and determination. One thing about you is that you don’t let anything take over! “I cannot wait to have you back on the dancefloor with us chatting away, making endless cups of tea! We all love you so much and I’m such a proud friend.” Due to her treatment, Dowden has not been given a professional partner during this series of Strictly Come Dancing. However, the team paid tribute to Dowden during Saturday (16 September) night’s launch show. Host Tess Daly called Dowden their “Welsh dragon” and explained that she would be missing “the start of the series”. Strictly Come Dancing continues Saturday 23 September at 6.15pm on BBC One. Read More Strictly’s Bobby Brazier: ‘I don’t think happiness or fulfilment lies in what TV show I’m gonna do’ Strictly’s Amy Dowden says she ‘cries every day’ as she opens up on losing her hair during cancer treatment Strictly Come Dancing’s biggest stars this year are 50 plus – it’s refreshing to see Stacey Solomon leads tributes to cancer campaigner Nicky Newman who has died aged 35 Yoghurt could be the cure for bad garlic breath, study finds Teenager’s death after drinking too much water was ‘preventable’

It’s hard to resist garlic sometimes, but its pungent smell can often last long on the tongue and what better way to get rid of it than good old yoghurt? Garlic contains a compound called sulfur volatiles that can cause a bad odour after being eaten. Researchers wanted to better understand how yoghurt and its components can eliminate or reduce such strong odours. For the study, researchers from the Department of Food Science and Technology at Ohio State University, Columbus tested the garlic deodourising capabilities of yoghurt and its individual components of water, fat and protein to see how each stood up to the smell. As a result, the team found both fast and protein were effective at trapping garlic odours, leading the scientists to suggest high-protein foods may one day be formulated specifically to fight garlic breath. “High protein is a very hot thing right now – generally, people want to eat more protein,” said senior study author Sheryl Barringer, professor of food science and technology at the university. “An unintended side benefit may be a high-protein formulation that could be advertised as a breath deodorizer in addition to its nutritional claims,” she said. “I was more excited about the protein’s effectiveness because consumer advice to eat a high-fat food is not going to go over well.” In the lab experiment, researchers placed equal amounts of raw garlic in glass bottles and confirmed the smell of the garlic was released in concentrations that would be detected by the human nose. Scientists measured the levels of volatile molecules in gaseous form present before and after each treatment. It was revealed that garlic alone reduced 99 per cent of the major odour-producing raw garlic volatiles. When introduced separately, the fat, water and protein components of yoghurt also had a deodorising effect on raw garlic, but results showed fat and protein performed better than water. Looking at fat’s performance, a higher quantity of butter fat was more effective at deodorisation. The proteins which were studied included different forms of whey, casein and milk proteins, all of which were effective at deodorising garlic. This may be because of their ability to trap the volatile molecules before they are emitted into the air. A casein micelle-whey protein complex performed the best. “We know proteins bind flavour – a lot of times that’s considered a negative, especially if a food with high protein has less flavour. In this case, it could be a positive,” Barringer said. Additional experiments that involved changing the pH of the yoghurt to make it less acidic (4.4 pH to 7 pH) actually appeared to lower the yoghurt’s deodorisation effect on the garlic. However, changing the pH of water did not seem to make any difference on the water’s deodorization effect. “That’s telling me it goes back to those proteins because as you change pH you change the configuration of proteins and their ability to bind. That said we definitely should be looking at these proteins,” Barringer said. “It probably depends on the protein, as well, because different proteins react differently to pH. So that may be an important thing as we look at other proteins for their garlic deodorization effect.” The team also tested the deodorising effect of yoghurt and its components on fried garlic, in the process they found that drying garlic alone can significantly reduce garlic odour. Yoghurt and its individual ingredients neutralised a lower percentage of volatile compounds of fried garlic compared to raw garlic. Study authors think this may be because there were fewer volatiles to trap than were present in the raw cloves. The findings have provided a foundation for future studies on proteins that might help fight the garlic breath. In the meantime, Barringer predicts that Greek yoghurt, with a higher protein profile than the whole milk plain yoghurt used in the study, may be particularly effective at getting rid of garlic breath. Fruit-flavoured yoghurts will probably work, too, she said – and whatever is used, it must quickly follow ingestion of raw garlic. “With apples, we have always said to eat them immediately,” she added. “The same with yoghurt is presumed to be the case – have your garlic and eat the yoghurt right away.” The study was published in the journal Molecules. Read More 11 best mouthwashes that will keep your mouth minty fresh Women less likely than men to receive CPR from strangers, study finds Study finds toxic ‘forever chemicals’ may be ‘intentionally added’ to some period products Teenager’s death after drinking too much water was ‘preventable’ Could bats hold the secret to beating Covid and cancer? Groundbreaking migraine treatment offers ‘new hope’ for patients