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The 6 most Streamberry-ish parts of Netflix's real user agreement

2023-06-23 01:15
With the fictional streaming service known as Streamberry from Black Mirror’s “Joan Is Awful” episode,
The 6 most Streamberry-ish parts of Netflix's real user agreement

With the fictional streaming service known as Streamberry from Black Mirror’s “Joan Is Awful” episode, Netflix gently ribbed itself for being a somewhat dystopian black box that entertains the viewer while making an awful lot of customer-unfriendly decisions at the corporate level. But Streamberry, the evil, fictional corporation can mine your entire life for content, and then stream that content to the world, humiliating you in the process, while Netflix just embodies the overreach typical of any 21st century media company…right?

Maybe you should review those Netflix terms of use you agreed to, just to make sure. Here are some sections that, while not rising to the Streamberry level — and certainly not unique — you might want to keep in mind anyway as you continue to fork over an ever-increasing monthly fee.

SEE ALSO: Netflix's 'Paradise' trailer teases a future where people can trade years of their life

Netflix is in on the joke, to be clear. Its fake Streamberry promo site has comedically dark terms of use. But the real Netflix terms are scarier because they’re legally binding, and it feels like everyone has agreed to them.

Here are six things you may not realize you've agreed to:

No refunds — not even partial refunds

“Payments are nonrefundable and there are no refunds or credits for partially used membership periods.” This is, of course, how most monthly services operate on the internet. If you’re not aware, however, you might not know that after your card gets charged, that month is paid for. You’re never seeing that money again. This is especially worth keeping in mind when cancelling. If you time your cancellation badly, you’ll have just paid for 30 unwanted days of service.

By default, Netflix is using you as a guinea pig

Netflix says it will “continually test various aspects of our service, including but not limited to our websites, user interfaces and promotional features.” In other words, it tests features on its users, including things like personalized pre-roll, meaning it shows you content catered to what it thinks you’ll like based on who it thinks you are, even when such features aren’t fully vetted yet.

You can opt out here.

Credit: Screengrab / Netflix

Just switch the little switch to "OFF."

Decisions made on your behalf by other members of your household are binding.

As you’re probably aware by now, Netflix doesn’t allow you to share your password with anyone outside your house (That’s the company’s official stance anyway). But even within your house, if you allow anyone else to access your account, "you agree that such individuals are acting on your behalf and that you are bound by any changes that they may make to the account." That includes changing your plan to a different tier. So if your kid upgrades you to ad-free premium, don’t expect Netflix to refund the extra money. (No refunds, remember?)

Netflix can’t be held liable if its service damages your property or injures(?) you.

This section is so important, Netflix puts it in allcaps:

"IN NO EVENT SHALL NETFLIX, OR ITS SUBSIDIARIES OR ANY OF THEIR SHAREHOLDERS, DIRECTORS, OFFICERS, EMPLOYEES OR LICENSORS BE LIABLE (JOINTLY OR SEVERALLY) TO YOU FOR PERSONAL INJURY OR ANY SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OF ANY KIND, OR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER."

It may seem strange, but you’ll see sections like these in most digital services’ terms of use. That’s because, naturally, these companies want the absolute broadest possible legal protection. Keep in mind, they’re operating on the internet and serving millions of people. Uses of technology can have mysterious and weird consequences, and if those consequences include "damages" or "injuries," those aren't always directly caused by a given product, but someone can sue for something caused indirectly too.

So whether it’s the Netflix logo getting burned into your monitor, or an episode of Stranger Things giving you PTSD, you agree not to hold Netflix liable.

Major disputes will be settled out of court.

You can still try and sue Netflix if you want, but it’ll be tough to get a court to hear your case when you clicked "I agree" on the following: "You and Netflix agree that any dispute, claim or controversy arising out of or relating in any way to the Netflix service, these Terms of Use and this Arbitration Agreement, shall be determined by binding arbitration or in small claims court."

So if you’re suing for an amount of money up to the meager maximums allowed by small claims court — usually around $10,000 — you might tangle with Netflix’s lawyers in an actual court of law. Otherwise, if you do try to make a legal case, it will almost certainly be handled in arbitration, a closed-door system for settling disputes without involving the courts.

And just how common is it for Netflix users to take the company to arbitration? It’s not entirely clear. After all, arbitration processes are secretive, which is beneficial for companies that don’t want the public to know what sorts of disputes they’re having.

Netflix can go full Streamberry on any feedback you send them.

After you agree to the terms of use, Netflix can...

"use any comments, information, ideas, concepts, reviews, or techniques or any other material contained in any communication you may send to us ("Feedback"), including responses to questionnaires or through postings to the Netflix service, including our websites and user interfaces, worldwide and in perpetuity without further compensation, acknowledgement or payment to you for any purpose whatsoever including, but not limited to, developing, manufacturing and marketing products and creating, modifying or improving the Netflix service."

So if you send feedback to Netflix, and in it you tell them a personal story, can Netflix turn that story into a show about what a jerk you are like in "Joan Is Awful"? It would seem, yes. You won't be paid, and what’s worse, you waive the "moral rights" to whatever you said, meaning your words don’t have to be attributed to you, can can be twisted and distorted to make you seem as awful as Netflix wants.