Drivers in New York City will be charged extra in tolls to enter Manhattan south of 60th Street as part of a long-stalled congestion pricing plan

Parenting is hard enough when you only have one or two children. So imagine how tough it can be when you have six kids – which is the case for comedian and television producer Ashley Blaker. Blaker, who’s worked on shows including Little Britain and starred in the Radio 4 series 6.5 Children about his family, has six children aged between nine and 19, two of whom have autism and ADHD, and one, who’s adopted, with Down’s Syndrome. But despite the busy load, he’s keeping a smile on his face – although he wholeheartedly admits that family life for him and his wife Gemma, a headteacher, can be challenging, particularly in relation to caring for their 15-year-old daughter Zoe, who has the mental age of a four-year-old. “We’ve really worked hard to support each other, and to make our family work,” he says. “There have been many, many times that things go a bit wrong. We have so much to worry about, it’s actually often the small stuff that gets us. “Being a parent can put you in a vulnerable place, and it can be the very littlest thing that throws everything awry. When a child has a meltdown or the support you were expecting didn’t arrive or whatever, then it can throw a massive spanner in the works.” Blaker, 48, explains that his eldest son Adam, now 19, was diagnosed with autism and ADHD when he was three – he had speech delay and was completely non-verbal until age six, ate a very restricted diet, and “he was very hard to control, very wild – he had a lot of behaviour issues”, his dad shares. His third son Dylan, now 16, was diagnosed with autism and ADHD at age six, and Blaker says both boys’ diagnoses benefitted the whole family. “It’s been a very, very helpful thing,” he explains. “My third son in particular has a very positive attitude towards his diagnosis – he loves having autism, and his diagnosis has allowed him to navigate his life in a more serene way.” The diagnoses have also helped the boys get extra support at school, and medication, and have definitely been a positive for Blaker and his wife as parents. “From our point of view as parents, it’s allowed us to go – ok, we’re not just inadequate parents,” says Blaker. “It would have been very easy to view ourselves as very bad parents, so getting that diagnosis was a very important and positive step towards being kinder to ourselves.” Despite the undeniable challenges of raising the four children they had at the time, the Blakers decided to adopt Zoe when she was two, when many couples may have shied away from adopting a child with Down’s syndrome. Why did they decide it was the right choice for them? It’s a question Blaker can’t really answer, admitting that he and his wife weren’t even considering adoption – but saw a local council advert about Zoe and answered it. It turned out to a life-changing decision both for her and for them, that they have absolutely no regrets. “She brings us unbelievable joy – she’s the greatest blessing in our life,” he says. “She’s in many ways the most impressive member of our family – probably because she’s the only one who shares none of my genes,” he jokes. “There are many challenges, but there’s such a wonderful innocence about her that sets her apart from most 15-year-old girls. She’s not on Snapchat, she’s not on the phone all night, she’s never made me take her to see Harry Styles in concert. She’s an absolute joy to be with – you can make her laugh incredibly easily, she’s the easiest audience in the world.” But despite the absolute joy Zoe and her brothers and younger sister bring to their parents, there’s no denying the Blakers’ family life is a long way from ‘normal’ – which is one of the reasons Blaker has just written a book about his unusual family, Normal Schmormal (HarperCollins, £16.99). “I really wanted to write the book that I wish I’d read 16 years ago, when my eldest son was diagnosed,” he says. “I read a lot around the subject at the time, and it was very depressing and worrying. I wanted to change the conversation a little bit on the subject of children with special needs, from being something depressing and worrying to something that’s positive, and makes our family who we are. Who wants to be normal anyway?” After Blaker finished writing the book, he was himself diagnosed as autistic with ADHD, at age 48. “Especially now I have my own diagnosis, I feel even more that it’s like: who wants to be normal anyway?” he says. “I’d lived with autistic sons over 18 years, but it was somehow only on writing about them and their hyper-fixations and sensory needs and social awkwardness that I thought I could have been writing about myself. “So I thought I’d like to at least find out – I think everyone, children included, has a desire to understand themselves, to know who they are, and explain certain aspects of their life.” So, how did his two autistic sons react when they learned their dad shared their conditions? “My eldest son was completely disinterested,” he says, “but my third son found it kind of funny. His exact words were, ‘I always knew there was something wrong with your semen’. But I do think that for both of them, it’s deepened our bond.” It’s impossible not to admire Blaker and his wife for their dedication to their family and the decisions they’ve made. Blaker concedes that he’s proud of himself – but “even prouder of my children”. He says being incredibly organised and having set routines – which he points out that kids, particularly those with special educational needs, love – has really helped the family over the years. But have he and Gemma ever had time for a break? In the past they’ve taken holidays without each other, leaving the other parent with the kids, just to get time away, he says. But he thinks taking a break is vital for carers, be they parents or otherwise, which is why he’s supporting Sense, the charity for people who are deafblind or have complex disabilities, with a new campaign highlighting the issue. The charity found 65% of carers are burnt-out or exhausted. “It’s really important to get a break, and it’s another reason why diagnoses can be crucial, because it opens up a wealth of help, like respite care,” says Blaker. “There’s a lot of help out there, but those things often need diagnoses. It’s like the magic key that opens everything up.” Ashley Blaker is supporting Sense’s new Give Carers a Break campaign. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Moschino celebrates 40 years of fashion with spectacular catwalk show From tailoring to florals: 5 key fashion trends to know for autumn/winter Cue the damson decor trend to snug up your space

Freshly cut roses. Sumptuous Marie Antoinette-style birthday cakes. Vintage Liberty dresses in Strawberry Thief fabric. Shetland ponies. These are some of the ingredients of my Instagram posts featuring my kids. I wouldn’t call myself a “sharent” by any means – someone who overshares their children’s intimate lives on social media in one long, parental “humblebrag”. But whenever I do post, it is picture-perfect. My kids look like they’ve walked straight out of a fairytale. But is it naff? Like tablescaping your kids? A form of digital narcissism? Is it, in its own unique way, a parental kind of “thirst trap”? To an extent, I’m luring others into a fantasy that doesn’t exist. I like to project a wonderfully idyllic life as a single mum... when quite frankly, it isn’t. It’s like when people try to woo their ex-partners back by posting shots of themselves half-naked and having the best time of their lives, despite crying into their pillow heartbroken all day and night. Some mums are professionals at posting perfect dreamy shots of their kids. Look no further than Carrie Johnson, Tamara Ecclestone, Stacey Solomon, and Kate and Rio Ferdinand. For celebrities and influencers, a picture-perfect ideal is the norm on social media – there are lots of cream interiors and matching Christmas jumpers. They might be promoting a homeware brand, or tagging a pram they got for free. Even when it’s tastefully done, like the former PM’s wife’s Instagram, it always gives the impression that motherhood is wondrous. That life is one big, happy Timotei advert. Even when celebrities try to be more candid, it doesn’t work. Mum-of-two Millie Mackintosh, formerly of Made in Chelsea, recently posted a “toddler tornado dump” on her Instagram. “I feel like it’s so easy to always share the nice, polished, life,” she wrote. “Well, today, I’m here to break that pattern.” The glimpse “into the delightful chaos” of Mackintosh’s maternal life included photos of a toothbrush and toothpaste on a bathroom basin, a bedroom littered with hair bows, and a make-up drawer with a few brown concealer stains on it. Really? Is that as bad as motherhood gets? For me, it’s simply more interesting to post magical rather than mundane shots. But why on earth do I want to present my kids as if they’re living in one long, tasteful pastel-coloured dream, where everything looks enchanting? No messy hair. No sleep deprivation. No kids bored out of their minds. I don’t require a filter, either – I’m already looking at life through rose-tinted spectacles, and expecting everyone else to do the same. But am I totally deluded? And, more than anything, could it be damaging to my children? Dr Charlotte Armitage, who is currently the duty-of-care psychologist on ITV’s Big Brother, has big concerns. “First of all, it’s impacting the relationship between the parent and a child because the relationship is contingent on the creation of these images and the number of likes that follow,” she says, adding that when you are “truly happy” with your situation, “you don’t tend to post perfect images”. It’s more important to ask ourselves the question of why we feel the need to present this kind of picture-perfect image of ourselves to the world. Is it because, in reality, we are discontented with our lives? Dr Charlotte Armitage, psychologist As parents, she continues, we are modelling behaviours to our children. “They learn by imitation – if mum is taking photos and seeking validation from likes, the child starts to become validated by these likes themselves and will develop an external focus of control; they will learn that validation comes from what others think of them. This is unhealthy because, throughout life, a child’s self-esteem and self-worth become based on what others think about them rather than how they feel about themselves.” The key, she says, is realising we shouldn’t use social media to fulfil our self-worth. “It’s more important to ask ourselves the question of why we feel the need to present this kind of picture-perfect image of ourselves to the world,” she says. “Is it because, in reality, we are discontented with our lives?” According to research, the average child today has had their image put on social media 1,300 times before the age of 13 – I can see this trajectory for my kids unless I put on the brakes. There are already widespread concerns over the data. In France, an anti-sharing bill continues to be discussed in the country’s senate, and parents could potentially be banned from sharing photos of their children on social media. It could also become mandatory for influencers to admit if a photo or video they posted was retouched or filtered. There is controversy over whether pictures of kids should even be posted online at all, as many are too young to even give permission. How will they feel about the spread of their image in the future? What happens if their identity is stolen – or worse, used by paedophiles? Does it promote a distorted reality of motherhood, compared with which other “normal” mums feel inadequate? And can it backfire on the parents when children’s rights in the digital era are not honoured? “Children tend to be frustrated or critical of the way their parents share images of them,” says Professor Sonia Livingstone, from the department of media and communications at the London School of Economics and Political Science. “Not because they are made to seem ‘perfect’ but because they can be embarrassed, even shamed, in the eyes of their peers. Meanwhile, parents feel hugely under pressure in many ways, both to be perfect parents and also because such images leave parents competing with each other and isolated in their own seemingly inadequate lives.” Dr Cosmo Duff Gordon is the founder of leading addictions clinic Start2Stop, and a psychologist in private practice at Chelsea Recovery Associates. He says that in his 20-year career as a psychologist, he’s “never had a parent sit in front of him and say ‘I’m addicted to Instagram,’” but that’s not because social media addiction doesn’t exist. He puts it largely down to “denial” – “not least since the use of social media can involve so many of the processes that usually characterise classic alcohol or drug addiction”. Denial being the number one culprit. “Obvious ones might be obsession, compulsion, capture of attentional focus and loss of control,” he says. “More subtly, social media use can involve the same sort of self-medication, or escape from reality, that addiction offers – and being a parent is hard. That’s why drifting into a fantasy land can be a relief from the daily grind of motherhood.” Parenting expert Hannah Keeley – aka “America’s #1 Mom Coach” – is more upbeat about mums posting potentially inauthentic photos of their kids. “The hardest truth to accept is that there are some mums who are actually professionalising motherhood to this level,” she says. “Not that they have achieved perfection, but they take pride in their performance as mums and use social media as a way to confirm that to themselves and boost their confidence to encourage their efforts. Should these mums also be obligated to ensure that all mums feel good about themselves, whether or not they have invested in their career to this level? Mums don’t have to be responsible for other mums’ perceptions.” After great debate and reflection, I’ve decided I’m happy with my Insta posts. They might be driven by my background, where my sister and I ran around in white nightdresses as if we had starring roles in Picnic at Hanging Rock. Or because I was conditioned to believe that how we look – even how thin we were – equalled self-worth. I’m not setting myself up to be a supermum. I don’t look at how many likes I get. It’s true that us mums also need to share our parenting experiences honestly, to let other mums know they are not alone. But for now, I’m not doing a U-turn – I’m just living the fairytale dream. Read More My daughter’s horsey hobby makes her happy, but our home now hums If poachers make the best gamekeepers, do siblings make the best babysitters? 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Welcome to Sun Blocked, Refinery29’s global call to action to wake up to the serious dangers of tanning. No lectures or shaming, we promise. Instead, our goal is to arm you with the facts you need to protect your skin to the best of your ability, because there’s no such thing as safe sun.

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Max Verstappen finished fastest as Carlos Sainz crashed out of a rain-hit final practice for the Canadian Grand Prix. Verstappen has won five of the first seven races of the season and even a wet track in Montreal could not slow the Dutchman down. The world champion, already 53 points clear of Red Bull team-mate Sergio Perez in the championship standings, finished 0.291 seconds clear of Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc. The Monegasque was the only driver within one second of Verstappen. Fernando Alonso took third for Aston Martin, 1.3 sec off the pace. Lewis Hamilton, fastest in Friday’s dry running at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve, finished 10th in the rain, 1.98 sec slower than Verstappen, with George Russell 15th in the other Mercedes. In the greasy conditions, Sainz spun after he stepped on to the white line under braking for the opening left-right chicane. Sainz was sent out of control and into the wall, sustaining significant damage to the front of his scarlet car. The Ferrari man escaped unharmed from the high-speed shunt which saw the one-hour session suspended for eight minutes. But his mechanics will now face a race against time to repair his machine for qualifying which is due to start at 16:00 local time (21:00 BST). Sainz was also summoned to the stewards for blocking Williams’ Alex Albon at the final chicane. Albon was forced to take evasive action to avoid slamming into the back of the Spaniard. Hamilton headlined the order here on Friday, but the seven-time world champion was not at ease with his black-liveried car on a sodden surface. “Grip is very poor,” said Hamilton after he ran off the road at the first corner and failed to trouble the top of the time sheets. Elsewhere, Kevin Magnussen finished an impressive fourth for Haas, one spot ahead of Sainz, who set his speediest lap moments before his accident. British driver Lando Norris was 13th, one spot behind his rookie McLaren team-mate Oscar Piastri, while Perez finished a lowly 17th, 2.7 sec behind Verstappen. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Lewis Hamilton fastest as practice for Canadian Grand Prix finally gets started Max Verstappen closes in on ‘amazing achievement’ of matching Ayrton Senna Lewis Hamilton plays down talk of imminent new Mercedes deal

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