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A man who “had anxiety all the time” because of his weight has lost more than 58.5kg after rediscovering his love of football and playing a weekly game of seven-a-side, and has now “gained a lot more confidence” and says his anxiety is “more controllable”. Kyle Bamford, 40, a scrap operative, who lives in Swansea, South Wales, with his wife Deborah, 41, and their three children, Caitlin, 18, Masie, 14, and Lola, 11, reached his heaviest weight in 2022, weighing around 161.5kg. At the time, he “suffered quite badly with depression”, “drank a lot”, comfort ate and even avoided socialising because he thought “people were judging (him)”. After coming across a friend’s social media post about Man V Fat, a weight loss programme that encourages overweight men to play football once a week, he had a “wake-up call” and decided to sign up. Since joining the club, in October 2022, Kyle has gone from a size XXXXXL to XL, lost 10 inches on his waist, and has lost 58.5kg – although, he still has to remind himself “that this is a big achievement”. Kyle admits that he still has “anxiety and nerves” but thinks it has got “a lot better” since losing weight. He has also noticed that the pain he was feeling “vanished overnight” and he can now do more things with his children – before, he was “too anxious” to go to theme parks with them as he was scared he could not fit on the rides. Kyle’s next goal is to get down to 99.9kg and he is considering playing football “competitively” once a week, as well as the weekly Man V Fat sessions. He told PA Real Life: “Before I lost weight, my wife said to me that when our kids grow up, I might not be able to do anything with them without getting out of breath. “I’d never go to theme parks, and I’d think of excuses because I was anxious of not fitting on the rides. “And now, I’ve got no problem with that. “My wife has also said that I’m more confident and she can notice that I’m happier too.” In early 2022, Kyle reached the heaviest weight he has ever been, weighing 161.5kg, with a BMI of 50.9 making him obese, and it began to take a toll on his mental health. He said: “I was just depressed and just had anxiety all the time. “I suffered quite badly with depression and I just drank a lot – eating was comforting more than anything. “I was quite anxious buying clothes and socialising, and I didn’t like seeing anyone from my past because I was smaller then. “I hated going to parties and things like that because I thought people were judging me.” In October 2022, one of his friends posted on Facebook about a weight loss programme called Man V Fat which involves overweight men playing football once a week. Kyle said: “I always enjoyed football and sports, and when I put the weight on, I fell out of love with it and lost interest in it. “When I saw my friend’s progress on Facebook, I couldn’t believe how much he had lost. “I signed up to Man V Fat when I was drunk and completely forgot about it. “When I got the call from them, I had a bit of anxiety and it was a bit of a shock but once I considered it, it felt like a wake-up call that I had to do something about my weight.” The following week, Kyle went to his first football session. He explained how the programme works: “At the start of the season, you register your weight and then you get weighed every week from then on. “You’re on a football team, and that gives you an incentive to lose weight because you play a 28-minute game of football, and if you have not lost weight, the other team gets points. “If you have lost weight, your team gets penalties.” After attending a few sessions, Kyle began to notice a difference in his weight and made small changes in his diet. He said: “My wife and I are very fussy, we like all the bad stuff really, to be honest. “But one thing I did do is cut out takeaways and pop, and I did see a big difference with just those two changes. “My guilty pleasure was on a weekend, after heavy drinking, I would order a takeaway, but I stopped doing that.” Kyle also started to track his calories on the MyFitnessPal app, and the more he lost, the more motivated he felt. He explained: “I stuck to MyFitnessPal religiously, and I think within the first month of joining Man V Fat, I was looking for excuses to quit. “I had all the negative thoughts go through my head, but I did stick at it. “I stepped on the scales a couple of weeks at a time, and I noticed my weight was dropping. “Something clicked in my head and I wanted to see how far I could go.” After 10 months of weekly football sessions and sticking to a calorie deficit, and now starting to go to the gym six times a week, Kyle has lost 58.5kg and is now 103.5kg. He said: “I always put myself down, and I have to remind myself that this is a big achievement. “I feel like I’ve gained a lot more confidence, but I still suffer with anxiety and nerves, but it’s a lot better and it’s a lot more controllable now. “I did suffer a lot of pain before I lost weight and it vanished overnight. “Now I go to parties and I definitely come out of my shell more easily.” Looking to the future, Kyle’s next goal is to get his weight down to double figures. He said: “I think 99.9kg is my goal – it will be hard but I think I can do it. “Now I’m back playing football I’m actually enjoying it again, and I’m looking to start playing competitively on a Saturday. “So at the age of 40, I think that is an achievement in itself because I feel like I can do it again.” Read More ‘I felt like a freak’: Woman’s bullying over skin blistering disorder Daniel Radcliffe credits his parents for helping him stay in shape What are the symptoms of prostate cancer and how common is it? ‘I felt like a freak’: Woman’s bullying over skin blistering disorder Daniel Radcliffe credits his parents for helping him stay in shape What are the symptoms of prostate cancer and how common is it?

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Exam season is underway, and many teenagers might be feeling overwhelmed about the important tests they’re facing over the next few months. “Sitting exams is often one of the most overwhelming and high pressure experiences teens face, and students often put immense pressure on themselves,” says Lara McIvor, a revision expert at Save My Exams. “For parents with children taking exams, it can be difficult to know how best to support their child without being too involved or under-supportive. “As parents and teachers, it should be our mission to ensure students have access to clear support systems, coping mechanisms and study techniques over these challenging few months, and we should all be better educated in the warning signs of stress in teens.” And Matt Buttery, CEO of the Triple P Positive Parenting Programme, adds: “This can be a stressful time, but the good news is that parents can support young people and help remove some of the pressure around exam season. By setting a positive example and encouraging them, you can help ensure they remain happy and healthy, as well as reach their full academic potential.” So what can parents and carers do to actually make the whole exam experience better for teens? 1. Encourage them to chat with you Encourage open communication, and if your teen seems stressed, ask if they’d like to talk through revision together, or more broadly discuss their concerns, suggests Buttery. “It’s important your child knows you’re there for them if they need you,” he stresses. 2. Set up a quiet study area Ensuring your child has an optimum place to study without distractions is vital to their success, McIvor says. “Often concentration can wane, so making sure there are limited external distractions – such as loud music or TV – will allow for the best results and prepare them for their silent exams,” she says. 3. Don’t just rush to make them feel better It’s vital to acknowledge what teenagers are feeling, rather than just trying to make it go away, stresses psychologist Dr Audrey Tang. “One of the most important things anyone can do is validate their right to feel as they do,” she explains. “We’re not very good at sitting with anxiety and often rush to try and make it go away or to feel better, and this can lead us to quick fixes which can include unhealthy behaviour choices such as not bothering to try, often led by unhealthy thoughts like ‘If I don’t try, I can’t fail’.” 4. Help teenagers unpack their feelings Encourage teens to analyse or unpack how they’re feeling about their exams and revision, advises Tang. “If we take a moment to respect our feelings, and try to unpack exactly what we’re worrying about, we may be able to work out what we need to do next,” she explains. For example, is your teen’s anxiety caused by them not understanding some things, and if it is, which specific bits are causing the problem? Or is it linked to knowing their parents are stressed and not wanting to add to it, and if that’s the case, are other services available? “When we begin to unpack our feelings, rather than suppress or deny them, we have a better idea of what action is going to help us the most,” Tang explains. 5. Help with visual prompts Creating an ongoing learning environment throughout the exam period is key, says McIvor. She suggests sticking notes with key quotes, equations, etc on them around the house in places where your child can always see them. “This can be really useful for some students as it allows for constant exposure to materials,” she explains. 6. Avoid ‘toxic positivity’ If a teenager says things like, ‘I’m so stupid’, or ‘I’m rubbish at everything’, it’s natural for parents to tell them they’re brilliant, observes Tang. “Unfortunately, this has the effect of not validating those emotions, and the opportunity to understand what they’re trying to say is lost,” she explains. “A better way to navigate that discussion would be to acknowledge the feeling with something like ‘I’m really sorry you’re feeling that way’, and asking for more information.” 7. Be a good role model Role modelling healthy ways to manage your own anxiety is hugely important, stresses Tang. “Why would you expect a young adult to listen to you if you aren’t showing in your own practice that what you’re suggesting works?” she asks. And Buttery advises parents to lead by example by staying positive and calm when talking about exams. “Avoid using phrases such as, ‘You must be nervous’,” he says, “As you may risk accidentally making an otherwise calm child more stressed. Children learn a great deal about how to manage their behaviour and deal with difficult situations from their parents. By demonstrating calm and resilient behaviour, parents can have a positive influence on their children’s ability to cope with adversity.” 8. Try stressbusting techniques together Tang suggests practising self-care or stressbusting techniques together, such as affirmations with deep breathing. One technique, she says, is to get your child to note down everything they need to do and its relative importance on a pie chart, where the size of the slice shows the importance of the activity. Then ask them to draw on a scale of zero in the centre, to 10 on the outside, where they are in each segment. “This gives them a visual representation of what they need to do, and where they are, as well as an indication of the areas they’re neglecting, and how important those areas are,” she says. “By having everything on one pie chart, it might feel a lot more manageable.” 9. Maintain the family routine Ensuring family dinners and other rituals remain part of daily life can help teenagers cope with exam stress, as routine is predictable and reassuring at a time of pressure and uncertainty. Maintaining structure can also help your child plan their downtime, stresses Buttery, who adds: “It’s important to ensure they’re taking time to relax and unwind, whether by watching their favourite TV show, playing a game, or hanging out with friends.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Children In Need removes Pudsey’s bandana to show not all challenges are visible Is your child too anxious to go to school? What’s the link between the menopause and anxiety?

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