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Paraplegic man with polio whose mother tried to cure him by putting him in a hole as a child now flourishing in the UK
A paraplegic man with polio who spent hours of his childhood in a hole in the ground in Mumbai, as his mother believed blood flow to his legs may cure the disease, and was “carried everywhere” until the age of 14, has said “you should never give up” as he defied the odds to become a professional wheelchair sportsman and father a child in his 50s. Jignesh (Jig) Vaidya, 52, who was born in Mumbai, India, but now lives in Leicester, contracted polio aged two as he was not “vaccinated at the right time” because his family could not afford it. This resulted in him being paralysed from the waist down, and he was hospitalised for at least six months at the age of four, with his legs in plaster to keep them straight. After this, Jignesh’s doctor said “there’s nothing we can do”, and since his family could not afford a wheelchair or further treatment, and his access to education was limited due to his disability, he remained at home for several years, with his mother Nirmala, now 83, “doing everything for him” – washing, feeding, changing and carrying him. Defying his difficult beginnings, Jignesh has spent his life moving across the world, becoming a professional wheelchair basketball player and enjoying a successful career, currently working as a project assistant at Maximus UK and broadcast assistant at the BBC, all before the birth of his now 20-month-old son, Jesse. He has not forgotten where his life began, however, and told PA Real Life: “As an Indian remedy, (my mother) dug a hole outside our house in the sun and put my whole body in it for six hours every day, neck down, in 30-degree heat. “She put really heavy bangles on both my legs and asked me to sit on the wall for three, four hours a day, dangling them, as she thought, ‘Jignesh will walk one day’.” Jignesh said his mother believed in Indian medication and thought the blood flow may help to cure his polio – a serious infection caused by a virus – but Jignesh described it as “hell”. From that point on, he thought, “this is going to be my life, this is it for me, it’s not going to get any better”. “I thought, ‘I’m going to be a loser – I hate to say that word – I’m not going to have any friends, and I’m going to be asking people for help all my life’,” he added. At the age of 14, Jignesh was given a wheelchair after his community rallied to raise some funds and he was finally able to go to school. He said he had to “catch up to the people who were ahead of (him)”, but he loved having some independence and no longer having to be carried by his family or others. He experienced a major setback when he moved to Dubai at 16, as he gave up his wheelchair to support another young boy with polio in Mumbai, and this left him in a dark place, mentally, as he had no “freedom”. Since then, however, he has moved to Leicester, received an “amazing education”, competed as a professional wheelchair basketball player, skydived, and fathered a son called Jesse, despite doctors saying this would not be possible. Jignesh said: “You should never give up in this life, and don’t be afraid to open up and ask for help. “Do what you’re best at and, if you work at something every day, whatever your goal is in life, you will get there. “It may take some time, maybe even years – it took me until the age of 20 to learn how to write my name in English – but I didn’t give up and look at me now.” From the age of 14, when Jignesh received his first wheelchair in Mumbai, he said he started to “flourish” and enjoyed going to school. However, he was subjected to discriminatory comments by his teachers, with one saying: “He’s handicapped, he can’t go at the front, put him in the back.” Since Jignesh’s late father Laxmikant, 66, was working in Dubai at the time, he ended up moving out there for two years at the age of 16 – but because his family could not afford to send him to school and he no longer had his wheelchair, he said he spent two years “looking out the window, watching people go by”. He said “there was nothing for (him)”, apart from a taxi ride once a month, and this significantly impacted his mental health, as he felt this had reversed all the progress he had made. “There was one point in my life, in those two years, where I was going to dark places and crying all the time,” he said. “I thought, ‘If mum’s not here, I could jump out the window and nobody will know. I can end it’, because I thought, ‘This is it, I can’t go back to what I had, I’m stuck’.” After his father earned enough money from those two years in Dubai, he and his family moved to the UK in 1988, when he was 18, and this is when everything changed. He received a new wheelchair in March 1989, aged 19, and started full-time education in September 1990, aged 20, where he learned English, maths, and how to use computers – and given he had impressive upper body strength and speed, he started playing sports as well, including wheelchair hockey and basketball. “I was a coloured person, a new arrival, couldn’t speak the language, and yet I was treated like everyone else,” he said. “I just thought, ‘Wow, I’m a part of society, I’m not being treated like a dog, like I was in Mumbai’, and if an opportunity comes in, I will take it, as there’s no going back. “When I started playing sports, I knew there and then that this is it, this is my life, this is my path.” Jignesh has since gone on to compete as a professional wheelchair basketball player internationally in places such as France, play for teams including MK Aces Wheelchair Basketball Club and Leicester Cobras, coach at the Coventry Crusaders club, skydive, and father Jesse with his partner Julie, 40, a teacher – confounding doctors. He goes to his local Nuffield Health gym every day, completing workouts and classes which have been adapted for him, and this helps to slow the progression of his polio as muscle weakness can increase over time. He “cherishes” being able to work with the “amazing” staff, including his personal trainer Matthew Molloy, in an inclusive environment where he is part of a team, supported, and everyone can “flourish”. Looking back, Jignesh realises why his mother, who he now cares for, would say, “everything happens for a reason”, and he is extremely grateful for his family’s love and support. He is excited to watch Jesse grow up, and he wants to continue encouraging disabled people to stay active, fight for their rights, and “never give up”. “I never thought that when I was in that hole, or when I was in Dubai and had nothing, that I’d be where I am today,” he said. “Sometimes, when I’m driving, I think, ‘This could be a movie; I’m going to wake up and be back in Mumbai’, so every day now, I pray and say, ‘Thank you’.” To find out more about Nuffield Health, visit: nuffieldhealth.com Read More Trypophobia: ‘Mushrooms, Beanie Babies and Doja Cat - I lived in fear for 30 years’ Lucozade addict drinks eight bottles a day and says it’s harder to quit than class-A drugs Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live
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Woman shares male coworker’s ‘infuriating’ response to her decision to not have children
A woman has shared her male colleague’s “infuriating” response when she informed him of her decision to be childfree. Earlier this week, TikTok user @honeyandmud went viral when she recounted the conversation she had with her male coworker, who seemingly couldn’t wrap his head around her choice to not have children. “I was chatting with a guy at work today and he asked me if I have any kids, to which I responded with: ‘Oh no, I’m not gonna have children,’” she began the TikTok, which has since been viewed more than 230,000 times. Her coworker laughed off her response and replied: “You say that now, but never say never,” according to the TikToker. When she further stressed that she knew “for a fact” that she was never going to have children, she said her colleague seemed surprised by her comment, and asked why she didn’t want kids. “I’ve known since I was a child that I don’t want to have kids,” she explained. “I’m 35 years old now and that hasn’t changed and I really don’t see that changing in the future, so yeah, I can confidently say I don’t want kids and I’m never going to have them.” However, her justification didn’t seem to please the male colleague. “Even after that, he still replies with: ‘Well, you never know,’” she said. In the viral video, the woman went on to explain why her frustrating interaction with her coworker was a “common theme” among people who choose to be childfree, or not to have children. @honeyandmud i am so happy you love being a parent, but i promise you that i would not. trust that i can understand that about myself. #childfree #childfreebychoice #childfreemillennial #letusbe #storytime ♬ original sound - honeyandmud “Anytime somebody is choosing to be childfree, there are always people – usually parents – who are like: ‘You’ll regret that one day,’ like they know the person better than the person knows themselves,” she shared. “Do you not think we know ourselves? Do you not think we understand this decision and have thought about this decision and have our reasons why we don’t want to be a parent or bring a child into this world?” “Trust that I know myself, alright?” she added, along with the caption: “I am so happy you love being a parent, but I promise you that I would not. Trust that I can understand that about myself.” The TikToker’s interaction with her male colleague struck a chord for many childfree people in the comments, who took the opportunity to share just some of the many judgemental comments they’ve received because of their decision to not have children. “I chose to be childfree and at 44, STILL get the ‘You never know,’” one person revealed. “I’ll be 40 in a few months and people still want to tell me never say never,” said someone else. “They are still trying to convince me even after I voluntarily paid money to be permanently steralised,” a third user wrote, while another person said: “It’s the most infuriating conversation to have because they act like they know you better than you know you.” “Voluntary childlessness” – also called being childfree – has grown in popularity among US adults in recent years. In November 2021, a survey from the Pew Research Center found that 44 per cent of adults said it is “not too or not at all likely” that they will have children someday, a seven per cent increase from 2018. While there was no single reason why a number of Americans have lost interest in becoming a parent, some survey respondents cited financial burdens or the unsettling “state of the world” as reasons to remain child-free. Earlier this year, childfree TikToker Jackie Dives was praised by viewers for showing “what a life without children can look like”. “I knew in my heart and in my gut that I didn’t want to be a parent,” Dives said in her viral video last March. She added that it was difficult for her to imagine what her life could be without children because there weren’t examples of child-free women “in media or pop culture”. “I had no idea what my life would look like if I didn’t go down the path that everyone expected me to go down,” Dives explained. “It felt really lonely and strange, and I had to go seek out other women who had also made that choice.” Meanwhile, another TikToker sparked a conversation about the sexist double standards that childfree women face after she claimed that her OB-GYN refused to consider her for a tubal ligation to prevent pregnancy. The Independent has contacted @honeyandmud for comment. Read More ‘Child-free’ woman applauded for sharing videos showing ‘what a life without children can look like’ Stop shouting at babies on planes – nobody has the right to a ‘child-free’ existence Woman, 22, sparks debate about medical freedom after doctor refused to sterilise her: ‘I just don’t want kids!’ Schoolboy almost dies from swallowing magnets for TikTok challenge Woman shares honest review of New York City apartment TikTok mom slammed after making 5-year-old son run in 104 degree heat
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