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‘Boy moms’ receive backlash for teaching sons how to cook - but for the wrong reason
Many people are calling out mothers of sons - also known as “boy moms” - for the reason why they’re teaching their sons how to cook, as some people call it a “red flag”. The TikTok trend first began when user Laura Elizabeth Graham shared a video of herself cooking in the kitchen with her young son, as she wrote over the clip: “Making sure my son can cook so he’s not impressed by your daughter’s [Stouffer’s] lasagna.” She continued to write in the video’s caption that her son would need a “home-cooked meal” from his future wife. Meanwhile, fellow “boy moms” also hopped on the trend, as one shared a similar video how she was teaching her son cooking skills so “he’s not impressed by your frozen pizza daughter”. The videos have since sparked a debate, as many users replied that they were teaching their sons to cook “because it’s a necessary life skill for independence.” “Teaching my son to cook because it’s a basic necessity,” one person commented under Graham’s video. Another person proclaimed they were “team daughter-in-law,” while one viewer added that the trend was “screaming red flags”. In response to the TikTok trend, some mothers took the opportunity to point out that showing young boys how to cook - just so that he’s not “impressed” by someone else’s cuisine - only teaches him to expect a higher level of household labour from his future partner. In fact, TikTok user Payal Desai posted a series of videos showing the ways in which she was teaching her sons how to take care of themselves - emotionally and physically - as they grow older. In one video, Desai showed her sons how to clean the dishes and explained why she does it: “So your daughter doesn’t have to deal with a man who was catered to his whole life.” @lauraelizabethgraham He’s gonna need a home cooked meal Felicia ? #boymom #boymomlife #boymomsoftiktok #mamasboy #mommasboy #mamasboys #relatablemom #motherinlaw #motherinlawproblems #momsoftiktok IB: @brontevictoria.capowski ♬ original sound - Laura Elizabeth Graham Many mothers of young boys also joined in, showing the ways in which they were empowering their sons to be more self-sufficient and responsible. Meanwhile, psychologist and mother Amber Wardell reacted to the TikTok trend, saying in a video: “I’m teaching my son to cook so that he will show up for his future wife as though she’s his partner and not his servant.” The ongoing trend to categorise parents as a “boy mom” or “girl dad” reportedly perpetuates gender stereotypes. “The gendering process then continues through quite literally every aspect of that child’s life: the pink or blue newborn hospital beanie, the princess or football player clothing gifted at the baby shower, the jungle or fairyland nursery room decor, and of course, the toy trucks or baby dolls,” Dr Jessica N Pabón-Colón - an associate professor of women’s, gender, and sexuality studies at SUNY New Paltz - explained to Refinery29 in 2021. @payalforstyle No dust here. #dustyson #dustydaughter #trend #boymom ♬ original sound - Bryan Pabón-Colón emphasised that juxtaposing opposite genders, in hashtags like #BoyMom, also reinforces supposed gender differences. Speaking to the outlet, she explained that both the #GirlDad and #BoyMom trend “announces the ‘feminine’ mother’s ability to parent a child whose ‘masculine’ gender is different from hers,” and ultimately suggests that parents of the opposite gender have to try harder to relate to their girls and boys. @sensible_amber This is how we create snobby, entitled men who treat their wives like the help and constantly compare them to mommy dearest. Let’s teach our boys to be self-sufficient, nurturing, compassionate, and supportive. Let’s teach them that their wives do not exist to be their mommies. Most importantly, let’s teach our sons that it is HEALTHY and NORMAL for them to one day leave us and become more attached to their wives than they are to us, and that this is what we WANT for them. Otherwise, we’ll all end up with our boys living with us forever — not because they love us but because no women will have them. They’ll be divorced, lonely and miserable, and we’ll still be cooking their meals. Is this really what we want for our sons? #motherhood #momlife #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodunited #parenting #boymom #biymomculture #toxicboymomculture ♬ original sound - Amber Although seemingly innocuous, she suggested that this mentality does more harm than good. While the hashtags themselves aren’t harmful, Pabón-Colón emphasised that their stereotypes are limiting. She argued that “the label ‘boy’ cannot possibly contain [a child’s] personality traits,” and that there’s more to any one person than their sex or gender. “Having a vulva does not explain a child’s desire to have a tea party with their dad any more than having a penis explains a child’s desire to climb a tree with their mom,” Pabón-Colón said. The Independent has contacted Laura Elizabeth Graham for comment. Read More Homeowner sparks criticism after telling contractor not to use her bathroom Bride tries on mother’s wedding dress 30 years after parents’ wedding Mom documents at-home abortion to destigmatise abortion pills Schoolboy almost dies from swallowing magnets for TikTok challenge Woman shares honest review of New York City apartment TikTok mom slammed after making 5-year-old son run in 104 degree heat
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How to watch ‘Love Island UK’ in the U.S.
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Score a refurbished MacBook Pro for under $500
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The Cheesecake Factory Named to the ‘PEOPLE Companies That Care’ List for Third Consecutive Year
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China's CellX pilots lab-grown meat production, eyes U.S. market
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Dyson Just Launched Candy-Colored Versions Of Its Hair Tools – & They’re Already Selling Out
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Max Verstappen fends off Fernando Alonso to take pole position in Monaco
Max Verstappen saw off Fernando Alonso to take pole position in a scintillating qualifying session for the Monaco Grand Prix. Alonso’s Aston Martin mechanics celebrated wildly after it appeared as though the 41-year-old Spaniard had taken his first pole in 11 years. But Verstappen delivered a mesmerising final sector in Monte Carlo to take top spot with his final throw of the dice, beating Alonso by just 0.084 seconds. Charles Leclerc finished third for Ferrari, one spot ahead of Alpine’s Esteban Ocon with Carlos Sainz fifth. Lewis Hamilton qualified sixth for Mercedes, two places ahead of team-mate George Russell, with Sergio Perez set to start Sunday’s 78-lap race from last place after he crashed out. “I’m very happy,” said Verstappen. “We knew that this was going to be a little bit of a struggle to get everything together. “In qualifying you need to go all out and risk it all. “My first sector wasn’t ideal in my final lap and I was a bit cautious, but then I knew I was behind so in the last sector I just gave it everything I had, clipping a few barriers along the way. I am happy to be on pole here for the first time.” It has been 3,691 days since Alonso’s last pole in the sport and the rejuvenated Aston Martin driver looked on course to finally end his losing streak when he temporarily moved to the top of the time charts after declaring he was “pushing like an animal”. Verstappen was the only driver who could spoil both the dreams of Alonso and Aston Martin, and he trailed the Spaniard by two tenths heading into the final sector. But the double world champion danced his way through the final part of the circuit to finish clear of Alonso and claim a pole which he will be expected to convert into his fourth victory from the opening six rounds. Alonso said: “Obviously pole position means a lot in Monaco, but today Max was a little bit faster, which is a shame. “Let’s see what we can do tomorrow in terms of strategy and if there is any weather coming. We will try to win it. “It’s a very short run into Turn 1. We normally have a good start. Max is a bit inconsistent so maybe he has one of those bad ones tomorrow.” Mercedes were banking on their much-anticipated upgrade providing them with a springboard to challenge the grid’s all-conquering Red Bull team. But on its grand unveiling here in the sun-cooked principality, Hamilton was at odds with his new machine. The British driver, who crashed out of final practice following a mistake at the right-hander Mirabeau, missed the chicane in Q1, only avoiding an early bath with his final lap, before scrambling into Q3 after he grazed the wall at the swimming pool chicane. “Man this car is hard to drive, mate,” said the seven-time world champion, who also reported there was “something wrong” with his right-rear suspension. He finished four tenths behind Verstappen in Q3 with team-mate Russell six tenths adrift. Perez is Verstappen’s closest championship challenger, but the Mexican driver will start the race at the back of the pack. The running was just six minutes old when Perez – 14 points adrift of Verstappen in the standings – carried too much speed through the opening Sainte Devote corner and thudded into the wall. Perez sustained extensive damage to the left-hand side of his Red Bull before coming to a standstill in the middle of the circuit. “I crashed, I crashed,” said Perez, who now faces losing serious ground to Verstappen in the championship race with overtaking extremely challenging at this most unique of configurations. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Lewis Hamilton: Racist abuse of Vinicius Junior really hits home for me Bernie Ecclestone would be surprised if Lewis Hamilton wanted to leave Mercedes Lewis Hamilton insists right decision is made as Emilia Romagna GP cancelled
2023-05-28 00:25
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