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Defining Dishes is an IndyEats column that explores the significance of food at key moments in our lives. From recipes that have been passed down for generations, to flavours that hold a special place in our hearts, food shapes every part of our lives in ways we might not have ever imagined. As a teenager growing up in Hungary, the summer school holidays were usually spent at home because my parents were still working. They would leave us a list of house chores we needed to do before they left for work in the morning, and it included cooking our own meals, so I learned at an early age that I really enjoy cooking. I love cooking traditional Hungarian food, but I was also keen to experiment with other recipes and there was one day when I was looking for something to cook for that evening, just anything. My friends and I would go to the local library regularly, and on this day, I went and found an old cookbook in the food section. It looked about a hundred years old, it was falling apart, some pages were missing and others were stuck together. But I browsed through it and found a cake recipe involving plums soaked in rum that I thought sounded delicious. The recipe was incomplete because of the state of the book, but I wrote it down in my notebook anyway because it sounded good and I really wanted to try it. I resolved to make it for our dessert that evening. I went to the supermarket and went to search for all the ingredients for the cake. What I wasn’t expecting at the time was how expensive they would be – thinking back now, it makes sense that rum, plums and vanilla would not come cheap, but I was young and didn’t really know the price of things like that. It turned out to be quite an expensive shop, particularly for a 16-year-old using her own pocket money, but I didn’t mind too much as I was convinced it would be great! I got home and started getting ready to cook. It was around this time that I realised just how incomplete the recipe was. It confused me – for example, it seemed to call for just milk and eggs in the batter, there was no flour. But I pressed on and told myself that the recipe writers surely knew what they were doing. I mixed everything in a bowl and it was very, very liquidy, almost like water, which worried me. I poured the batter into a pan and into the oven it went. Now, the recipe said it would only take 20 minutes to cook. But as much as I wanted to trust the recipe, this part made me doubtful because of how liquid the batter was. So I waited and waited, but it remained stubbornly liquid. I wasn’t even sure if it would be edible. After an hour and a half of waiting, I used the toothpick method to see if it was cooked. I inserted the toothpick into the middle of the cake and when I removed it, it was sticky but no batter was left on it, so it looked like it might be OK to take it out. By this time, I had used so much electricity and energy that I was anxious to get it out of the oven. I took it out and left it on the kitchen counter to cool down. I told myself: “Maybe it will be solid by the time I come back.” It did smell amazing because of the vanilla and rum and plums, almost like Christmas cake that filled the house. But to be honest, I had a bad feeling about it. It looked horrendous, the most disgusting-looking cake I had ever seen. At least it looked solid, so I thought OK, that seems fine-ish. After a while, I figured it had cooled down enough so I tried to get it out of the tin. I had used a cake tin that you push up from the bottom to release the cake. While I was pushing the bottom, I don’t know what happened, but the cake slipped and the whole thing just fell onto its face on the floor. I remember standing there for a moment and thinking, I just spent a bloody fortune on this cake and it’s fallen in the dirt on the floor. I rushed to my room in tears, I just couldn’t deal with it. I was so sad. My 18-year-old brother had been in his room the whole time and heard me slamming my door. He must have wondered what happened because I heard him come out of his room and go downstairs to the kitchen. I stayed in my room for a little while feeling sorry for myself, before pulling myself together and heading back out to go and clean up the mess I made. I went down the stairs and I kid you not, saw the funniest scene before my eyes. My brother was on his knees in the kitchen, literally eating the cake from off the floor. I said: “What the hell are you doing?” He told me it smelled and tasted amazing, he couldn’t resist. It reminded me of the Friends episode “The One with All The Cheesecakes”, because there is a scene where Rachel and Chandler are eating cheesecake off the floor in their hallway. It was hilarious that it was happening to me in real life. I didn’t join my brother on the floor, but I did try a little bit of the cake once we picked it up from the floor. It was really tasty even though it wasn’t quite done, but it wasn’t the total failure I thought it was going to be. He offered to get me more eggs so I could try and recreate it again. The next time I made it, I made some adjustments and it turned out bloody amazing. Now, after a lot of experimenting and tweaking the original recipe, I’ve kind of mastered it. It is still expensive to make, so I decided I would only make it for celebrations and for Christmas. I even entered my recipe in an online competition. One of the prizes was a Jamie Oliver cookbook and my dad absolutely adored him. I enlisted his help to submit my entry because I didn’t have a laptop at the time, and it turned out to be a fun thing for us to do together. Some time later, I checked my email and found out I won the competition! Both Dad and I were stunned because I was worried my recipe was too complicated and nobody would want to make it. When we received the book prize, Dad was definitely more pleased than I was. It was a great thing for both of us to do. I genuinely believe that making this cake taught me the power of not giving up. That lesson has followed me throughout my life ever since. I am now an archaeologist living in Glasgow, but it hasn’t been an easy journey. I have had to persist with things even if they don’t go according to plan and keep motivating myself to get here. I think this random cake I picked out of an old book in a library has helped shape my attitude towards life. I’m also really glad my brother ate it off the floor because if he hadn’t, I would never have learned those lessons and maybe, I would be in a very different place today. Evelin Eros is a Hungarian archaeologist living in Glasgow. She makes her rum cake every Christmas and for other special occasions. Read More The dish that defines me: Mallini Kannan’s baked honey-soy salmon The dish that defines me: Frank Yeung’s prawn wontons The dish that defines me: Alex Outhwaite’s Vietnamese bun cha ‘It started with a radish’: Chef Simon Rogan reflects on restaurant L’Enclume at 20 The true story – and murky history – of Portuguese piri piri oil ‘My depression stopped me doing what I loved most in life – cooking’

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Jennifer Garner has opened up about motherhood, living in the Hollywood spotlight, and some of the anatomical mysteries that come with ageing. The 51-year-old actor, who recently posed for the May 2023 cover of Allure, shared her shocked reaction after an enlightening visit to her gynecologist. “I just learned that our vaginas may collapse,” Garner recalled. “I saw my OB this week and she gave me a pamphlet about vaginal collapse.” The 13 Going on 30 star described her panicked reaction upon learning about the vaginal prolapse, which occurs when the muscles that support the organs in the pelvis begin to weaken: “I’m like, ‘When? Is it imminent? Do I need to put it in my calendar? What is happening?!’” When asked by Allure whether the condition is the “same thing that happens when you pee if you sneeze,” Garner replied: “No, that’s not collapse. Collapse is like you can’t have sex because you can’t get in there because it’s collapsed on itself.” Not exactly. Vaginal prolapse, also referred to as vaginal collapse, happens when a person’s pelvic floor muscles weaken and stretch. This can result in the muscles that support the vagina dropping from their normal location in the body, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine. People assigned female at birth are at increased risk of developing vaginal prolapse if they delivered children vaginally and are approaching or experiencing menopause. In fact, it’s fairly common for people to experience some type of pelvic area prolapse later in life. Now that Jennifer Garner’s three children – whom she shares with ex-husband Ben Affleck – have grown older, the actor said she’s gained “a lot of faith” that her children will figure out who they’re supposed to be. “Being a mother was one thing I knew I was going to be,” the Alias star said. “I really could have been a mother in any way. I could have adopted, I could have fostered, but there was no doubt I was going to be a mom.” She continued: “Your kids will really figure out who they are and what they are when they’re older, and most likely they will hew toward lovely. I have a lot of faith in my kids. I don’t love every behavior all the time, always. It’s gnarly growing up.” Garner also revealed that her children – Violet, 17, Seraphina, 14, and Samuel, 11 – prefer to watch their father Ben Affleck’s movies over her because they “don’t really want to see [her] in a romantic thing.” “They don’t mind watching their dad, but they kind of want me to be their mom. They don’t want to see me upset and women cry more in what we do,” she said. As for how she’s often perceived as the “nice” girl in Hollywood, Garner admitted that her sweet reputation can come with some downsides, especially when she’s not in the happiest of moods. “The problem with, ‘Oh, she’s so nice’ is that when I have any kind of boundary, people think of it as much more than it actually is,” she explained. “The problem is being recognised on a day where I’m not so nice or when I have blackness in my soul. I’ve definitely had days where I just can’t do it. I scowl at people before they can walk up to me. I’m not perfect, and I don’t think I’m rude, but I’m not good at being fake. I’m an open book of a person.” Garner has recently been praised on the internet for her “wholesome” social media presence, from home cooking shows to taking part in viral trends. But despite her viral Instagram, Garner previously revealed that her children aren’t on social media – and her eldest daughter is “grateful” for it. Last month, the Juno star explained to Today hosts Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb how she’s kept her three teenagers off social media. “I just said to my kids, ‘Show me the articles that prove that social media is good for teenagers, and then we’ll have the conversation,’” she shared. “Find scientific evidence that matches what I have that says that it’s not good for teenagers, then we’ll chat.” While her daughter Violet is “grateful” that she doesn’t have social media, she noted that Seraphina and Samuel are also still in their teens, so their perspectives on the topic could change over time. “It’s a long haul,” she said. “I have a couple more to go, so just knock on wood. We’ll see if I really hang in there.” Read More Jennifer Garner says she ‘works really hard’ to avoid seeing stories about ex-husband Ben Affleck in the press Jennifer Garner reveals her children aren’t on social media and says eldest daughter is ‘grateful’ for it Jennifer Garner sparks online obsession with her homemade Snickers: ‘Most wholesome person’ Jennifer Lopez ‘understands’ why her 15-year-old twins ‘don’t want to talk’ to her Can I go to work if my child has chickenpox? Harry Potter star Miriam Margolyes, 81, announces she’s been hospitalised

UPDATE: Jul. 12, 2023, 6:20 p.m. EDT This list has been updated with the best

While last summer was the season of the Hailey Bieber “glazed donut,” Sofia Richie’s embodiment of “quiet luxury” has become this year’s fashion obsession. However, the 24-year-old social media personality has revealed that she doesn’t consider herself to be the “queen” of the trend like so many people say she is. In a recent Who What Wear interview, Richie - now married to music executive Elliot Grainge - opened up about how she feels about the new title associated with her look. “Quiet luxury, the term, it sounds really nice, so I’m not knocking it,” she said. “But [my stylist] Liat Baruch and I started working together properly about three and a half years ago, and when we met, our word was ‘timeless.’” Baruch dressed the “it girl” for her April 2023 wedding in Antibes, France. The event has since been titled “a Chanel festival” and “this year’s royal wedding” by W Magazine and Vogue, respectively. During the ceremony, Richie wore a handful of custom couture designs for her welcome party, ceremony, and reception - all Chanel, of course. While speaking on the Who What Wear podcast with Hillary Kerr, Baruch spoke about the inspiration behind the lavish yet understated looks. “We were trying to elevate but stay young, be feminine, aspirational but also attainable - a little bit of everything while staying ageless and classic,” she remarked. “And we did that. She did that, too. It was a constant dialogue and true collaboration.” “She [Richie] was very clear on what she wanted and how she wanted to look: Not too overtly sexy, not too conservative,” Baruch added. “And she’s very focused on how she wants to dress in terms of style and her lifestyle in general, and we were very aligned with all of that.” The youngest daughter of Lionel Richie donned designs that were inspired by archival pieces, one of which Claudia Schiffer wore during a 1993 Chanel runway show. Other looks from the brand’s collection were showcased to fit the season and event theme. Richie’s desire to curate an effortless elegance in her personal style, especially for her wedding, has resonated with individuals striving for a “clean girl” aesthetic. While the A-lister’s closet may not reflect minimalism, her individual pieces are both simple and extravagant in the clever way that she styles them. Between structured blouses with ribbed flare pants and leopard print overcoats with cat-eye sunglasses, her outfits exemplify the perfect way to appear timeless and still have fun. Now, Richie has announced plans for her eponymous fashion line to capture her character in clothing. She intends to make the fashion brand accessible to fans of the put-together-but-without-trying look. “The aesthetic is very my vibe,” she admitted. “I made sure, trying on every single sample, that it embodies the aesthetic that I’ve been wearing. It’s 100 per cent me. No further details have been released about plans for the brand, other than that Richie will not be the fashion line. Read More Lionel Richie shares anti-ageing secrets after fans praise youthful appearance: ‘Sex will work also’ Sofia Richie opens up about early days of her relationship with Elliot Grainge Sofia Richie shows off ‘chic’ coronation concert outfit ahead of father Lionel Richie’s performance

You won't confuse a moth and a butterfly or an alligator and a crocodile again.