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Mariella Frostrup said she looks forward to a future where women “stop feeling so ashamed” of their bodies. The broadcaster, author and former Observer agony aunt, who has been known for her work as a menopause campaigner over recent years, also said “the world is not changing fast enough” when it comes to awareness and support for women’s health experiences. “[There has been] centuries of misinformation and misunderstanding that’s gone on around menopause. You have to look to history to see where we’ve ended up – and then in a more optimistic vein, look forward to a future where women gradually stop feeling so ashamed,” Frostrup, 60, told the PA news agency. “I mean, everything to do with women’s bodies has been a source of shame. I remember as a teenager, I was hiding my Tampax underneath cereal packets when I went to the shops to buy them, because I was so ashamed of the fact I was having a period. “You look at young people today, and I just love it when young women will announce to a roomful of people, ‘Oh, I’m on my period’. That is a great indication of the sort of liberation we need to experience around our bodies.” Frostrup, who wrote an advice column for the Observer for a decade and joined Times Radio as a presenter in 2020, co-authored the 2021 book Cracking The Menopause and is chair of the Menopause Mandate collective, whose aim is to ‘revolutionise’ the support and advice women receive through their midlife health challenges and beyond. She has now teamed up with Always Discreet on a campaign highlighting bladder leakage. Despite affecting around half of women, many (50%) are unaware this can be a common symptom of menopause, according to a survey by the brand. Of those who do experience bladder leaks during menopause, the poll (of 1,200 women) also found more than 50% are not sure they would want to discuss it with anyone, with some (19%) citing embarrassment as the reason. Frostrup, who has a teenage son and daughter with husband, lawyer Jason McCue, is keen to highlight, however, that bladder leakage is often one of the menopause symptoms women can effectively self-manage – through pelvic floor exercise. These are simple exercises that involve squeezing the muscles around the pelvis, bladder and vaginal area. The campaign sees Frostrup and TV medic Dr Philippa Kaye encouraging women to ‘Squeeze the Day’ every day, with daily pelvic floor exercises. “It’s something a lot of women live with, a lot of women don’t talk about, and a lot of women feel ashamed about – but it is actually something you can tackle, when there’s so many other symptoms women struggle to obtain treatment for,” said Frostrup. “Here’s something you can personally take agency of, and do your pelvic floor exercises. “My mum, weirdly – and I have no idea why, because I was a teenager in the Seventies – was very vocal about the need to do pelvic floor exercises. I think probably back then, it was more to do with childbirth and making that a bit easier in the future, but I was lucky in a way, as it’s something I’ve had an understanding about – although I’m still practicing how to do them without raising my eyebrows,” she added, laughing. “With so many of these things, you need a bit of levity as well. Obviously, [bladder leakage] is not the most pleasant thing – but it’s not the end of the world, and you can prevent it and actually make a difference if you’re already suffering.” Frostrup is certain that lack of awareness and support around menopause has made it “so much more difficult” for those affected, and that there’s still work to be done. “I think for an awful long time, our ignorance around the subject has made the transition through perimenopause and menopause so much more difficult,” she said. “The discovery that one in two women are going to suffer from bladder leaks – that’s an astounding proportion, particularly when you look at it as just one of 50 symptoms around menopause that women are unaware of. “I think there’s an issue in that menopause is now presented as something everybody knows about – ‘yada, yada, why is it still being talked about? You’ve got everything you wanted, now get on with it’ – and I think that’s absolutely not the case,” Frostrup continued. “Based on the thousands of women who’ve written to us at Menopause Mandate and talked to us about their symptoms, the treatment, the support they’ve been able to access, their experiences in the workplace and so on. What’s clear is that the world is not changing fast enough for these disenfranchised women. “We don’t want to rest on our laurels and just think, ‘Oh, everything’s fine now’. We’re still at base level – we’ve still got Everest to climb, when it comes to just recognition and support for women.” Mariella Frostrup has partnered with Always Discreet on their ‘Squeeze the Day, Every Day’ missions. Find out more about pelvic floor exercises via the Always Discreet Menopause Hub. (Speak to your GP if you are concerned about bladder leakage).

Taking off yet another pair of jeans that simply wouldn’t fit, I was on the verge of tears. Under the harsh glare of the dressing room lights, my reddening face felt even more humiliating as I shimmied myself back into my own clothes. I had dedicated the day to jeans shopping and started it feeling optimistic, but this was quickly waning. This was the sixth store, and the seventh pair I’d tried on. None of them were happening. I question why I’ve spent hours traipsing around Oxford Street, dodging crowds and trying not to get hit by a black cab. Jeans shopping is not fun. It’s a mission. More than three years ago, I swore off jeans for the foreseeable future. At the time, I was practically living in a pair of faded black M&S high-waist, straight-cut jeans that were cropped right above my ankle. The search for those jeans had also been painful, so when I found this perfect pair, I told myself that was it – I was never going to buy jeans again. But at the start of 2023, I was devastated to find my severe lack of a thigh gap had led to a rather large hole being rubbed into the inner thigh of my beloved jeans. I resolved to get the hole fixed and am still planning to do so, but I recently become enamoured by the idea of blue jeans. It’s been a long time since I owned a pair of blue jeans I really liked. Maybe it was time to start the search again? I initially felt buoyed by the knowledge that size ranges are more extensive than ever before. In the jeans section of Asos alone, you can filter the type of denim you want to unprecedented levels of specificity: choose from 17 different styles, over 30 “jeans families”, dozens of brands, colours, and washes, six “body fits” from Curvy to Petite, and sizes up to UK32. It’s a dizzying array of choices, but surely meant that it’d be easier than ever to find what I was looking for. Yet, this couldn’t be further from the truth for many women, particular those of the larger, curvier variety. I am currently extremely average in size at a UK14. But due to the aforementioned lack of thigh gap, combined with wide hips, a generous posterior and thick, muscly calves, I’ve struggled to find jeans that are both comfortable and flattering. It’s always one problem or another: gapping at the waist, unable to get them up past my hips, too tight to sit down comfortably, too baggy to look good, too long, too suffocating, too unforgiving. Sadly, but unsurprisingly, things are even worse for plus-sized women. A friend of mine, a size UK18, has been burned so often that she was ready to give up. She told me that when she visited Khloe Kardashian’s Good American outpost in Selfridges, she tried on one pair of jeans and nearly walked out when it didn’t fit, thinking none of the others would either. The sales assistant had to stop her and tell her she would help her find something else – and they did. The look on my friend’s face when she showed me the jeans later was priceless, like butter couldn’t melt. It struck me how rare this experience is. Women just want jeans that not only make them feel confident, but are also comfortable and are worth paying a bit more for Sonia Robinson Jones Part of the reason jeans shopping is so demoralising is the lack of consistent sizing in the fashion industry. On social media, some influencers have highlighted this by trying on jeans in the same size in different stores and showing how vastly different the fits are. A UK12 in H&M can fit just right, but a UK12 in Zara might barely zip up. The same size in River Island won’t even get past your thighs, while a pair from Next might be a bit too roomy. Unreliable sizing and poor quality construction makes clothes shopping such a headache, but still the high street brands persist with the status quo. According to Sonia Robinson Jones, associate lecturer in fashion at the University of East London, this is because fast fashion brands “tend to cut their [garment] blocks for the younger body size and grade their sizes up accordingly”, rather than allowing for the fact that women tend to become curvier as we age. “In essence, jeans need to be contoured to a wider selection of body shapes… Women just want jeans that not only make them feel confident, but are also comfortable and are worth paying a bit more for.” Then there is the question of sustainability. I had initially set off with a list of criteria for my perfect jeans: dark blue, high-waisted, no rips, straight leg, preferably from a company with sustainable credentials. My holy grail jeans would have been ELV Denim, which sources unwanted jeans from warehouses around the UK and reconstructs them into entirely new pieces – but at a starting price of £255 per pair, I’d have to save my pennies for another time. Other sustainable brands such as Nudie Jeans and Lucy & Yak were at a more digestible price point, but I wasn’t keen on the idea of returning jeans that didn’t fit and adding to my carbon footprint. Aja Barber, contributing editor at Elle UK and author of Consumed, which explores the effects of fast fashion on the planet, tells me she gets around the horror of it all by shopping for second-hand jeans on eBay. “I have one style that’s my go-to and they’re widely available because the maker over-produces, so I’d rather buy them secondhand than have them become landfill waste, which is what happens to a lot of secondhand clothing that doesn’t get bought,” she explains. “Plus some brands aren’t great on ethics or sustainability and I’d rather not give them my money even if they make my size. Secondhand is a work-around for this.” She also recommends thinking hard about whether you need lots of pairs. “The best route here is to realise you don’t need five pairs of jeans,” she says. “Two pairs max and spend the most you can on getting the best possible pair.” Barber is also an advocate for getting clothes custom-made for a better fit, if it’s within your financial abilities. “I think we shy away from ideas like getting your clothes made because it sounds inaccessible and fancy, but if you’re plus-size like I am, it can be a godsend. I think instead of trying with stuff on the rack, it might be best to take this route.” As for myself, I eventually caved and decided to try buying jeans online from US brand Everlane, which partners with ethical factories and uses recycled materials, organic cotton and less water to create their clothes. I ordered two pairs of jeans from their Curvy collection, knowing that I would not be sending them back, and prayed they would fit. When they eventually arrived, I was ecstatic. The jeans fit. They actually fit! And now, I will never buy another pair of jeans again. Promise. Read More Flip-flops, nudity and ‘up the vajayjay!’: How the red carpet became a platform for protest Women with body hair remain a cultural taboo, and I can’t see it changing Why I’m suspicious of the silver fox Edward Enninful steps down as British Vogue editor-in-chief amid reports of rift Barbie stars Margot Robbie, Issa Rae and Simu Liu react to their own doll replicas Amanda Holden’s most extravagant fashion from the BGT live shows

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