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Defining Dishes is a new Indyeats column that explores the significance of food at key moments in our lives. From recipes that have been passed down for generations, to flavours that hold a special place in our hearts, food shapes every part of our lives in ways we might not have ever imagined. I came up with this baked honey-soy salmon dish in the first flat I ever had all to myself, as a master’s student in Stirling, Scotland. I think that’s what makes me feel most proud of it, because it was the first thing I made that made me truly feel like an adult. I was 25 and had been living away from home in Malaysia for nearly five years, and although I never really cooked with fish, I was really craving it, particularly Chinese steamed fish. Salmon was relatively cheap in Scotland, but I always felt that there was something about cooking fish that was very intimidating. It felt like it was too fancy for me. I also feel like it’s still socially acceptable to eat overcooked, dry chicken breast, but eating overcooked fish is just much more unpleasant and no one wants that. But something came over me one day when I saw a fresh salmon fillet with a really good discount in the Tesco clearance aisle. Maybe that should tell you something about me – I don’t know if others would consider that safe – but it looked good and I said, “You know what, maybe today’s the day”. At the time, it so happened that honey-soy salmon was really trending, I had seen it all over the place. I didn’t Google a recipe, I just sort of figured out what flavours could be good on a piece of fish. I made a sauce using soy sauce, Chinese cooking wine and maple syrup (which was gifted to me by one of my very nice friends), poured it on top of the fish and shoved it in the oven, because I didn’t have a steamer then. I did look up how long to cook it for, and Google said 20 minutes. I ate it with steamed rice and to my delight, surprise and relief, it was absolutely delicious. I felt really good about it. It was a real level-up moment in my life. It was the first time I had made a difficult dish, even though the actual labour wasn’t difficult at all and it is essentially a very simple dish. It made me feel like I could do it; I could make grown-up food. At the time, I was 24 or 25-years-old and I had been living away from home for some time, but never without housemates. So I was truly on my own. It was a revelation to realise that I could make Chinese food like this at home. I come from a Malaysian-Indian family. We don’t steam much of anything and so if I wanted steamed fish, I’d have to go to a Chinese restaurant. But now, I didn’t really have to. After that, it became my hyper-fixation meal. I just couldn’t get enough of it and made it all the time – at the peak of my fixation, I ate it three times a week. But I did learn that it does not make for good leftovers. It must be eaten on the day it’s made, otherwise the fishy smell gets a bit unappealing. Once I learned that, I ate it about once a week, and each time I’d experiment with it. I learned the importance of adding aromatics like garlic, ginger, spring onions, coriander and chili. But the key motivator to my experiments was laziness. Could I get away with not slicing things up? What if I don’t want to turn the stove on? How can I cut corners? No matter what kind of nonsense I threw at it, it has always turned out reliably good. The first time I cooked the dish for someone else was when my parents came to visit me from Malaysia. We had just returned from a trip, and they were staying in my flat for a week and it was the first time they came to a place that was truly mine. I remember very clearly cooking the salmon for them because a couple of friends had invited me out to the pub that night and I wanted to go, but I didn’t want to order takeaway for my parents – they were at that stage in their holiday when all Asian parents get grumpy because they haven’t had rice in three days and it was paramount that they ate some immediately. I had 30 minutes before I had to get going to the pub, and I figured that I knew how to cook this dish so well by now that I could get it done in 20 minutes. However, it was also the first time I had scaled a fish. Before, I just cooked the fish with scales and all, I didn’t even realise you had to take them off. For some reason, this time I decided I needed to scale this slab of salmon. I read one Google-recommended article and was like: “Let’s go.” What they don’t tell you is that scales fly. They go absolutely everywhere. And there’s a kind of black coating, like a slime, on the fish that will also go everywhere. I remember my parents peeking their head around the kitchen door to ask if everything was OK, and me just barking: “YA IT’S FINE.” I had to get that thing in the oven NOW, so it had to happen. And you know what? It turned out great. This was the second dish I’ve made for my parents that they’ve said: “Oh, wow.” The first time was for a prawn curry, but this was special because they were so impressed by the efficiency of it and also, it was the first time they realised that wow, I’m an adult, I’ve figured it out. They were used to me making good food, but this was the first practical dish; it’s not me sitting in the kitchen, having to cut a mountain of onions and pounding galangal. Last year, after I moved to Virginia to be with my husband, I made it for him for the first time. It feels really nice to share this part of me with him. It was a piece of myself that I figured out on my own, before married life, and it feels really significant because it was my independence dish. I want everybody to make it. However, I have a bone to pick with fishmongers in the UK. I want to know why they don’t scale the fish you buy unless they’re asked. Surely nobody wants to eat the scales? Just scale it please, thank you very much. And if any readers have suggestions for how I can make my baked salmon skin crispy, I would very much like to know. I still haven’t figured that part out yet. Mallini Kannan is a communications specialist from Malaysia, who now lives in the US with her husband. She still cooks this dish every week. Read More The dish that defines me: Frank Yeung’s prawn wontons The dish that defines me: Alex Outhwaite’s Vietnamese bun cha The dish that defines me: Eddie Huang’s Taiwanese beef noodle soup Breakfast for dinner and four other things you should cook this week Where to find the best Guinness in London – and how to spot a bad one How sizzling kitchen drama The Bear is spicing up the dating game for chefs

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A mother has been defended after she explained why she called her daughter’s father “creepy” over the name he gave to his newborn child. In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I the A**hole?” Reddit forum, the woman – who goes by the username u/Aggressive_Buy4075 – asked if she was in the wrong for criticising the name choice. She started off her post by providing context about the situation, explaining that she got pregnant with her now 10-year-old daughter after “a drunken hook-up with a friend in her mid twenties”. While noting that the pregnancy wasn’t “the most glamorous or flattering truth,” she and her friend still “decided to keep the child and co-parent”. She also acknowledged that she and her pal were “never a couple” and “didn’t want to be one either”. The woman continued her post by explaining that when her friend and his longtime girlfriend were expecting baby, she’d “been supportive to them both” as much as possible, “without crossing any lines”. She then explained how she wanted her 10-year-old to get to know her soon-to-be half-sibling. “I’ve encouraged my daughter to help out whenever she’s staying with them during the pregnancy and to behave. I’ve also made it clear that I want the children to have a close relationship, despite having different mothers,” she wrote. “I’ve even said that if they were comfortable with it, on nights I have my daughter [and] if they ever want time alone, I’ll babysit once they have the baby. So my daughter can spend time with her sibling.” She added that while she “thought everything was great” and was excited for her “daughter to have a sibling,” that ultimately changed when her friend and his partner had their baby - and she learned the newborn’s name. “They’d named [her] using my daughter’s name,” the Reddit user continued. “[My friend’s girlfriend] didn’t seem to have any issue with this when she introduced the baby bold as brass. My friend seemed uncomfortable and wouldn’t look at me directly. I asked them what they were playing at, at which point my friend’s father said he’d take my daughter down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and left with her.” The Reddit poster noted that during the conversation, her friend told her to “calm down and not overreact”, while “his girlfriend told [her] she didn’t see the issue and it was a pretty name”. She continued to explain how she still asked the couple why they chose a name that was the same as her daughter’s. “I asked them if they’d named the baby for my daughter, trying to understand the logic here, but his girlfriend said that no it was just a pretty name she liked,” she continued. “I then asked if they planned to use a nickname or a middle name when addressing her on a daily basis and her response was that she didn’t see a need for that.” She went on to detail how she criticised the couple for their baby name choice, specifying that she told them it was a “creepy” decision to use the name. “I told them they were being ridiculous and that they couldn’t do this, I then told his girlfriend that I found this frankly creepy and told my friend he was being spineless if he was happy to go along with this,” she continued. While her friend claimed to her that their daughter “could use a nickname or something,” the woman shut that idea down by asking: “Why was it more reasonable for a girl who has used that name for a decade, to [be shamed] for her name, compared to a baby who had no concept of what a name was?” She concluded her post by noting that her friend’s girlfriend call her a “b****” for talking to her like that, after “she just gave birth”. The woman added that the new mother “asked the nurses to remove [her], saying that [the Reddit poster] was being disruptive”. “Maybe my temper is running a little too hot though and I was too harsh on her when she just gave birth. It’s just so f***ing weird,” the woman continued. She later made an edit to her post, reiterating that, although it wasn’t her decision to name the newborn, her daughter’s name shouldn’t have been an option. “I know that what they want to name their child is their choice, they could have called her Dinosaur for all I care but this is one name that should be off limits or adjusted, they even have the same surname as they have the same father,” she wrote. She claimed that she questioned her friend’s girlfriend’s intentions in the situation, adding: “Something about it just felt malicious and deliberate, as if she’s trying to replace my daughter and for them both to spring it on us like that at the first meeting? No, that was weird.” The Reddit post has since amassed more than 23,800 upvotes. In the comments, readers went on to defend the woman and question the couple for using the same name as her daughter. They also described what potential issues could arise when two half-siblings have the same first and last name. “From the outside it sure reads like she wants to replace her partner’s affection for his first daughter with his new baby. Of course it’s creepy,” one wrote, while another added: “And the suggestion that the 10 year old should use a nickname? Wow. Talk about audacity.” “Imagine two girls, same name, same city, possibly close enough to attend the same high school eventually, same parent. Imagine one has a warrant, or something that comes up on a background check for employment,” a third wrote. “Or can call and access accounts that just need an ID with the name on it and don’t verify SSN or biometrics.” Other people continued to claim that the couple’s name choice was “manipulative”, while encouraging the original poster to take legal action against her daughter’s father. “Worse than creepy. Calculated and manipulative. She wants to get rid of OP and choose the nuclear option by attacking her daughter,” one user claimed. “While no name can be claimed, this is a move full of hate and spite,” another wrote. “I would tell your daughter’s father that you will be going for full custody of your daughter and taking him for child support because you can no longer trust him to do the right thing by your daughter, how can you trust that he wouldn’t allow his gf to treat your daughter poorly based on this behaviour.” The Independent has contacted u/Aggressive_Buy4075 for comment. Read More Barbie? Ken? Venezuela?: Why baby names won’t be boring for much longer Adele says she wants to have a baby with boyfriend Rich Paul ‘soon’ TikTok theory on why there are so many girls named Bella at Bama Rush goes viral Khloe Kardashian officially changes son Tatum’s last name Grandmother and grandson who had sepsis at same time ‘lucky to be alive’ Cancer-hit dad who planned own funeral outlives three-week prognosis

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Sarah Jessica Parker has shared a rare glimpse inside her family life with husband Matthew Broderick. In a recent appearance on the Table for Two with Bruce Bozzi podcast, the Sex and the City alum revealed the daily routine that she and her husband share with their three children: son James, 20, and 14-year-old twin daughters Tabitha and Marion. “We cook every night,” she told host Bozzi during Tuesday’s episode. “It’s a source of a huge amount of pride for everybody.” The And Just Like That star even admitted that the family rarely orders takeout, adding how surprised she is to hear when other families order to-go. “It’s also mystifying because we just don’t order in as a family,” Parker said. “And on the rare occasion we have - we always hear other families, they do it, and then like one kid orders from this place and one kid…it’s so confusing.” While Parker’s iconic Sex and the City character Carrie Bradshaw is notorious for her lack of culinary skills, the 58-year-old actor assured that her family “really [does] cook five to six nights a week”. “We have always have a Sunday dinner - we invite people,” she added. Throughout the years, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have kept much of their family life out of the spotlight. Although the longtime couple have been married since 1997, the Hocus Pocus star recently revealed that they haven’t “spent a night apart” from each other in more than three decades. While speaking on Sirius XM’s The Howard Stern Show earlier this month, Parker recalled that her first date with the Ferris Bueller’s Day Off actor took place on 8 March 1992, and that she and her partner have “been together” ever since. “We’ve never spent a night apart since then, with the exception of work on location,” she told host Stern. “Or, his mother was ill for a bit so he went to take care of her. But from that first night, we’ve never been apart.” Parker said that “pretty soon into” their relationship, she felt like she was “in love” with Broderick and thought he was “really incredible”. The actor explained how she “admired” her soon-to-be husband before they started dating, noting that she had “loved” his work. “He’s so smart, he’s so funny, I like this choice of friends, the way he was living in New York, what was important to him, how he kind of travelled around the city,” she said. “He was always travelling around on his bicycle, he’s been riding bikes since he was 14.” The two also shared a common interest in raising a family in New York. “I love being home in New York,” Parker said. “I wanted to build a life here and he was born and raised in the West Village, literally, he’s never lived north of 11th Street.” Last month, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary. “Happy 26th anniversary my husband,” she wrote on Instagram, alongside a photo of a champagne cork. “That sure was a nice celebration and a real nice bottle of champagne. And a gorgeous walk home. Oh the miles we have strolled together. I love you. XOX, your SJ.” Read More Sarah Jessica Parker reveals she and husband Matthew Broderick haven’t ‘spent a night apart’ in 31 years Sarah Jessica Parker says she ‘missed out’ on ‘old-fashioned facelift’ as she reflects on ageism Sarah Jessica Parker rewears iconic Vivienne Westwood wedding dress in And Just Like That What is cardiac arrest? The condition that LeBron James’ son suffered from Mother asks if children should be ‘forced to share’ after park incident Scientists share habits that could take 20 years off your life

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Cereal with water from 'Friday' and tennis racket spaghetti from 'The Apartment' are some of the last-ditch recipes featured in A24's 'Scrounging: A Cookbook.'