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Knowing her limits is a “revelation”, says Dawn O’Porter, something she discovered in her mid-40s. For the former TV presenter and author – her latest book, Cat Lady, which was released in October last year – it’s something she’s had to learn. “I love drinking booze and eating really indulgent food, but I’m also really into health stuff as well,” she says. “I’m one of those people that’s really good – if I go to a party and it gets to 10:30pm [and] I’m not really feeling the booze, I just stop drinking – but I can stay out until two in the morning. I’m able to turn it off, and I don’t overindulge when I’m done – which I think is a real mid-40s revelation. “I know my limits – I go to everything, I do everything, I just stop when I know I’m done.” For O’Porter, 44, who shares two sons, Art, eight, and Valentine, six, with actor husband Chris O’Dowd, becoming a mother helped shift her perspective. “Since I’ve had kids, I know that I’m going to get woken up at six o’clock in the morning – you’ve got to make better decisions,” she says. “Like everybody, if I don’t do the work, I don’t get paid – and I don’t have the luxury where I can’t get paid. I have to be at my desk at 10 o’clock in the morning, and before I’ve got to my desk I’ve had to feed two humans, get them dressed, get them to school, walk two dogs, pull the house together and do all this stuff. “I know now that when I go on a big night out – which I do all the time, I love it – the next day is a write-off, so I can only do that once a week. It used to be three or four times a week, and it didn’t affect me in the same way. “I definitely feel like it’s a great thing to get to an age when you know what you can and can’t handle.” This “willpower” is something she admits she “didn’t used to have”. But dedicating time to her wellbeing is important, as being in your 40s is a “weird time”, she admits. “You know what’s coming – menopause is coming. What are we in for? So I feel like I’m going to do my very best for myself until that happens. It might be fine, it might not – I don’t know.” O’Porter adds: “It feels nice to go into it in the best health you can be. I’m not an exercise person – I get really into Pilates for two months and never do it again – so I’m consistent about healthy food and skincare and all that kind of stuff.” She’s reminded of a speech Kristin Scott Thomas makes about menopause in the BBC black comedy Fleabag, where she says: “It is horrendous, but then it’s magnificent – something to look forward to.” O’Porter adds: “As someone who has had cramps and really suffered for so much of my life, I fantasise about the other side of menopause – it’s like this giant mountain you have to get over. “I might smooth through it and not even know it’s happening, or I might be one of those people who has a very difficult time – I’ve got no idea. I just want to feel good when I go into it. “I do feel like there’s this freedom on the other side – I’ll be rid of all the things that have weighed me down physically for so many years, and be pain-free and happy.” A healthy diet is particularly important for O’Porter, who can’t eat gluten because it causes her “quite severe pain”. She says: “I have to think about food a lot more than people who can eat gluten – I really read packages and all that stuff. And I’m obsessed with my skin – I really try and eat food that’s really, really good for my skin.” Other aspects of her self-care routine include taking supplements (“If somebody says it stimulates collagen, I’ll literally buy 10 of it!”), taking Epsom salt baths and carving out the time to read before bed. “I think that’s really looking after myself, [so] when I have nights where I’m completely hedonistic and start drinking at 10 o’clock in the morning and don’t get home until four, that’s fine. Because I take care of myself the rest of the time, I think my face survives the hangovers and the dehydration.” After 15 years living in America, in June this year, O’Porter and her family moved from Los Angeles to London – and she couldn’t be happier to be back. “There’s quite a transient vibe to LA, because very few people are born and bred there – there are some, obviously, but most people have come out for some sort of work experience they’re having. They either stay or go, and there’s this constant movement of people. “It was hard to imagine getting older there and settling, there was always this feeling of no matter who we’ve got in our lives, they will come and go – and that unsettled me in the last few years.” Back in London, “Everything I do is an investment in the future of living here, which feels really lovely,” O’Porter enthuses. “Every relationship I make – all my girlfriends or my mum friends – everybody is here for keeps.” She’s particularly looking forward to spending Christmas on this side of the world. “I started planning Christmas months ago – where we’re going to be, what we’re going to do, because ultimately, I love hosting it. I love doing the whole thing myself.” She’s hoping to host this year, and foresees absolutely no festive pressures, saying: “It doesn’t stress me out at all, I’d say it’s me at my absolute best. “I cook like Christmas Day on every Sunday for lots of people, I love it so much. I get really into it and I start drinking about 10 in the morning – it makes it more fun – we play Christmas songs and get the wine going early and cook all day.” Plus O’Porter – who is offering shopping consultations in collaboration with Etsy ahead of Christmas – is extremely easy to buy for. “I’m really easy. I genuinely say this from the bottom of my heart – go on Etsy and put in ‘cat’ and you can get me anything, any handmade anything – if it’s got my name on it, even better, with a cat on it. I am so simple.” To find thoughtful gifts for loved ones this Christmas and beyond, head to etsy.com/uk. Read More Everything you need to know about bedbugs as increase in numbers is predicted PE ‘enjoyment gap’ widens for girls: Why it matters and how we can help The psychology of Big Brother: How to survive in the house How to support someone coming out in their 30s and beyond Israel-Hamas conflict: How to talk to teenagers about distressing news stories Autumn décor ideas for a seasonal refresh

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Creating a summery scheme with bright whites, creamy woods and natural decos signals carefree summer living – and feels right, right now. With warm days ahead and a possible heatwave on the cards, these brilliant white accessories and bleached-out homewares are just the ticket for a summer refresh – and relaxed lifestyle when you want chill out… 1. White Pearl Tableware: White Pearl Stoneware Side Plate, £7, Dinner Plate, £15, Salad Plate, £14, Pasta Bowl, £14, rest of items from a selection, Rose & Grey A must for summer tablescapes, this crisp white tableware suits every occasion; and works like a dream with rainbow salad recipes to show off those vibrant veggies and peppers. 2. Portland Storage Box – Large, £22, Garden Trading Stylish storage comes into its own come summertime, especially when you want to put the lid on foodie treats which might attract unwanted visitors. Versatile, easy to stack and pack, what’s not to love? 3. Off White Shell Vase, £38, Rose & Grey A go-to for coastal decor aesthetic, this shell vase with a seashell-like surface finish is a must-have for pampas grasses and natural driftwood branches. 4. George White Large Solar Candle Lights, £8 each, Direct.asda Decorative garden lighting is one of the cleverest tools for highlighting unexpected crooks and crannies, nurturing trailing greenery. 5. Roberts Play 11, White, £49.99, Roberts Radio One to add to your summer playlist with its streamlined tailoring, this new release from Roberts marries form and function with 20 station presets, DAB/DAB+/FM wavebands and portable battery power or via USB-C. 6. Moreton Whitewashed Kubu Rattan Trolley, £425, Marely Vase – Medium, £28, Marely Vase – Large, £48, White Bamboo Round Lantern – Medium, £65, The White Company A hero piece with timeless appeal, this beautiful bar cart will style up any indoor or outdoor space. Ideal for entertaining al fresco, it’s easy to wheel around and the removeable top tray can be used to proffer canapés and cocktails. With a side caddy for magazines or place settings, it can also be dressed up with artisan decos aplenty. 7. Habitat Kora Rattan Effect Garden Egg Chair, £230, Habitat When it’s time to invest in a chic, comfy seat, this egg-shaped pod pushes all the right buttons. With curvaceous steel frame, rattan detailing and four soft cushions to snug into, it can be upgraded to an accent chair with a luxurious snow white throw. 8. Lucerna Cream Tassel Solar Lanterns Trio, £34.99, Lights4fun Setting the scene for a summer soirée? These luxe boho solar lanterns will steal the spotlight when the sun goes down. Finished with decorative tassels and easy to hang from a branch, parasol or garden wall, simply pop them outside when the sun’s up and six to eight hours of sunshine will reward you with a warm, white, LED glow. 9. Dorma Purity Chiltern Bedspread, £120 to £140, rest of items from a selection, Dunelm Summer bedding signals a seasonal switch to an all-white theme… and fresh white bedspread to top your crisp, clean sheets. 10. Cotswolds Essentials Pure White Clothes Rail, £99, Cotswold Company If you’re planning a capsule wardrobe and switching out transitional pieces for something lightweight and fluid, you can’t go wrong with a dedicated clothes rail. With its sleek design and storage shelf, this will fit into the smallest of schemes. 11. White 100% Combed Egyptian Cotton Towels, 500 GSM, from £3.99 to £24.99, Homescapes Nothing channels a boutique hotel vibe like a bundle of white fluffy towels to pat yourself dry after a refreshing shower. Made from Egyptian cotton, these are soft and absorbent without being spendy.

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A woman shared an emotional story about a stranger’s kind words at the gym which brought her to tears. In her TikTok video, a gym-goer named Steph (@callmeindythanks) said that after working out for almost “over two years” she has been “struggling” lately with her progress, especially after an incident a few weeks previously in which two men made some cruel remarks about her weight. She told viewers that one of them “coughed into his hand and said ogre,” which she admitted hurt her feelings. Ever since that interaction, Steph has been grappling with “deep-rooted insecurities” about her weight, which has been impacted by ongoing medical issues. To treat her ailments, she explained that she takes “steroids” which have caused “blood clots” among other problems. As she has tried to deal with her medical issues, Steph said that she was, in turn, “neglecting” herself. When a man with “tattoos all over” approached her as she left the gym, she told viewers that she was bracing herself for what she thought was another bully. As a self-proclaimed overthinker, Steph remarked, “There are a lot of thoughts going through your head being a bigger woman in the gym because there’s all sorts of ages there, different body types, like super fit, not fit, and it kind of messes with your head.” What he ended up saying to her was not at all what she expected. She recounted: “He goes, ‘I’ve seen you in here every week, almost every day. I see you in here every week and I’m proud of you.’” His words of encouragement hit Steph hard, motivating her to make a video about the kindness of this stranger. “You have no idea how much people that are going through something appreciate the kindness,” she said through tears. “He didn’t have to say it, he doesn’t even know what I’m going through.” She continued to say that nobody besides the management at the gym knew about her medical condition. “I’m just grateful for people like you guys that encourage us, people like me. Even if you’re not like bigger but you’re still, like, insecure about something.” “I was having a hard day today but you know what?” Steph told viewers. “That made my day.” @steph5468 #gymprogress #workputjourney #keepgoing #healingjourney ♬ original sound - X There was an outpour of support for Steph and the stranger’s act of kindness online, with one fitness coach commenting on the video: “Just having someone say they are proud of you can move mountains for so many of us.” “To be seen as we are is such a human need in each of us,” someone else remarked. Another wrote, “Little happiness snowballs. We all gotta throw them sometime.” Many have taken to writing encouraging comments on Steph’s personal account where she frequently posts about her ongoing fitness journey. Including comedian Paul Kim, who commented on a recent video of Steph’s, saying: “Crush them with your consistency and progress. You got this!!! We believe in you.” The Independent has contacted Steph for comment. Read More Influencer sparks debate after admitting she asks to see man’s bank account info on first date Fitness influencer Larissa Borges dies aged 33 after double cardiac arrest Schoolboy almost dies from swallowing magnets for TikTok challenge Woman shares honest review of New York City apartment TikTok mom slammed after making 5-year-old son run in 104 degree heat

Parents and carers of children in secondary school are still spending “exorbitant amounts” on school uniforms, a charity has said. According to research conducted by The Children’s Society, which surveyed 2,000 parents across the UK in May, on average they are spending £422 per year on uniforms and £287 for primary school children. The survey found that on average pupils were expected to have three branded items, with 29% of secondary school pupils expected to own up to five branded items including PE kits, and 13% expected to have at least seven. So how exactly can parents and carers save money on school uniforms? Buy secondhand Sometimes there’s a means to buy secondhand uniforms at the school through the Parent Teacher Association, Matthew Easter, chairman of The Schoolwear Association, says. But if this isn’t the case, he adds: “Parents should challenge schools and members of staff to provide better financial support to parents.” Parents can even ask the school to reach an agreement with their recommended retail partner, to help them save money. “Have a look on local Facebook sites or sometimes schools have secondhand sales themselves,” advises teacher, mother and money saving expert Sophie Bradbury. “Sometimes you can get uniform that’s barely been worn as someone’s grown out of it too quickly. If you know anyone with children in their older years, ask them. Chances are they’ve still got some old jumpers or polo shirts hanging around. “Also check out your local charity shops and make sure to ask if they have any uniform out the back. Charity shops don’t put everything out straight away, so it’s always worth an ask. [You can also try] car boot sales. I always see old uniforms going for pennies.” It’s great when siblings attend the same school too, because you can pass down their old items. Buy good quality uniform that lasts It’s tempting to buy cheap school uniforms, but for Easter suggests it’s better to focus on quality over quantity. Easter is a parent of two girls aged seven and 10, and understands the strain it can put on families. “School uniforms are unique pieces of clothing, because pupils wear it for at least 196 days every year. It hardly changes too and doesn’t get lost as much as parents think – it’s only a small proportion. So why not invest in quality branded clothing that will last your child for a few years? “It means you can focus on purchasing the quality staple branded items, including a blazer, jumper – depending on the school – and tie from recommended retailers and then get skirts, trousers, white shirts, shoes and anything else required from independent retailers or supermarkets on the high street.” In reality, Easter suggests parents end up spending more in a shorter space of time buying lower quality uniforms, because they might need to be replaced. Buy it big so you get more out of it Uniforms tend not to be a one-time cost: you’ll have to buy replacements whenever you child has a growth spurt and the garments no longer fit. An easy hack to minimising the amount of new uniforms you have to buy? Buy the items a bit too big, giving your child time to grow into it. Recycle or upcycle Clothing is one of the world’s most polluting industries, so don’t throw your uniform away. You can always donate them to organisations that upcycle and recycle school uniforms, such as the Re:Form scheme (run by Trutex), which sells pre-owned uniforms at reduced prices. Or organisations like Pickni Uniforms, founded by Croydon rapper Jords and his friend Jamahl Rowl, which collaborates with schools, community organisations, and social service agencies to provide free school uniforms to students from low economic backgrounds. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live King Charles and Queen Camilla surprise spa guests in bathrobes at eco-village Nearly 1.5m 18 and under referred for mental health support in 2022 – charity Holiday hygiene horrors: Summer health risks to avoid, from flying to hotels

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