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7 ways to ease back-to-school worries
School should be the best years of children’s lives – but, as the new term approaches, evidence suggests it’s actually the most worrying time for many kids. The children’s helpline Childline delivered 7,772 counselling sessions about school/education worries last year, with a big increase in calls in the run-up to the start of the new school year. “School is a huge part of a child’s life, so it’s important they feel happy and secure there,” says Childline director Shaun Friel. “We know some children can feel anxious and apprehensive about going back to school, particularly after spending a lot of time away from the classroom due to the summer break. “In fact, our Childline counsellors see a spike in the number of counselling sessions they deliver to children about school worries following the summer holiday season.” Friel says some children feel worried about making friends, getting lost, or the workload at a new school, while others may have concerns about returning to their current school due to friendship issues, fears about upcoming exams, or the recurrence of bullying. “However a child feels about returning to school, we want to remind them that these worries are normal and they aren’t alone,” he stresses. “If any child is feeling apprehensive about going back to school, our trained counsellors are here 24/7 over the phone and online.” As well as counselling, Friel says there are many things both parents and children can do to ease back-to-school anxieties. They include… 1. Writing feelings down Parents can get their child to write down everything they’re looking forward to at school, and everything they’re worried about. “Encourage them to show you the list so you can chat through their concerns, help them cope with their worries and also look at the positives,” suggests Friel. 2. Listening to their concerns If your child has concerns about going back to school, take time to listen to what they’re saying before you jump in to give advice or your opinion, Friel advises: “You could try repeating back what they’ve shared to check you’ve understood their feelings correctly – this will help them to feel really heard.” 3. Discussing practical solutions Once your child has shared any concerns or anxieties about going back to school, you could try talking through some practical solutions, suggest Friel. So, for example, if they’re worried about the amount of homework they’ll have, you could discuss how to break this down each evening and what they could do if they start to feel overwhelmed, like talking to their teacher or you. “You could start by asking them what they think might help them feel better about the situations that worry them,” says Friel. “This can encourage them to learn to think for themselves and feel in more control of the situation.” 4. Reminding them to take their time Remind your child it can take time to adjust to being back at school, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel comfortable at first, says Friel. “Being back at school will mean a totally different routine, and it’s important to remember that this can take some getting used to,” he stresses. 5. Doing things they enjoy When kids are back at school, making time every day to do something they enjoy can really help to ease anxiety, says Friel. “Whether it’s time in their evening with friends, reading a book or hanging out with their siblings, it’s important to take time out,” he advises. 6. Talking to a trusted adult It’s important children are aware they can and should talk to a safe adult – perhaps a parent, carer, teacher, sibling over the age of 18 or a Childline counsellor – about anything. “No matter what the reason, if a young person is struggling ahead of going back to school, it’s vital they’re encouraged to talk to a safe adult about it,” stresses Friel. “Sharing their feelings with someone they trust will help them feel less alone with their worries, and that adult will be able to support them with this moving forward.” 7. Distracting themselves If children or young people make an effort to keep busy doing something they enjoy, such as playing football or listening to music, this could distract them from their worries, at least for a little while, says Friel. Staying connected with friends and family, whether that be online or in person, or doing some physical activity like going for a walk or taking part in a sport, can also be a good distraction technique. Young people can contact Childline, which is run by the NSPCC and supported by the People’s Postcode Lottery, on 0800 1111 or via 1-2-1 chat on Childline.org.uk Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live What is the best type of facial for your age range? King Charles reshuffles military roles with new duties for William and Kate Government urged to remove VAT from period pants
2023-08-11 15:46
Salon owner with incurable cancer who lost hair during treatment makes customisable wigs to help others feel ‘confident’
A salon owner with incurable cervical cancer who lost her hair while having chemotherapy has said wearing wigs has given her “reassurance in a world where nothing is certain”, and she now sells handmade, customisable bespoke wigs to help others feel “confident” in their own skin. Amanda Humphrey, 43, who owns Saramanda1 hair salon in Great Denham, Bedfordshire, was diagnosed with cervical cancer in October 2017 after delaying her smear test by seven years. She underwent a radical hysterectomy in December that year – a surgical procedure to remove the womb and surrounding tissues – and was in remission weeks later. The cancer returned and Humphrey received her second cervical cancer diagnosis just two days before Christmas in 2021, and she then started chemotherapy and radiotherapy. She described this as “hell on Earth”, and within two weeks of starting chemotherapy the second time, she noticed her hair was being “blown out of [her] head” by the wind. Humphrey shaved her head and embraced her baldness but soon realised she missed having “that comfort blanket” – and she then searched “high and low” for a realistic, non-synthetic wig. Through her own searches, which were often fruitless, she realised that the number of people selling customisable wigs made of human hair in her area were few and far between. This led to Humphrey making and selling her own – and now, despite her uncertain prognosis, she said her mission is helping people struggling with hair loss feel like themselves again. “My message is I get it, and that’s why I love the wigs that we produce,” Humphrey told PA Real Life. “I’m proud of the wigs that we produce, and I’m so grateful that people choose us to be a part of their journey. “Every wig is made with love and strength, they are made from the heart, and me and my entire team, we all want them to be just perfect.” Cervical cancer is a cancer that is found anywhere in the cervix – the opening between the vagina and the womb. Symptoms include unusual vaginal bleeding, changes to vaginal discharge, pain during sex or pain in your lower back, the NHS says. Humphrey, who was working as a detective in London at the time and had only just opened her salon, said she had no symptoms prior to her diagnosis and “always found an excuse to cancel [her] smear test”. It was only when a colleague strongly encouraged her to book her smear test, seven years after she was first invited to have one, that she received her diagnosis in October 2017. She said she holds herself responsible for this and has since campaigned for other women to book their smear tests without delay by sharing the message “Don’t be me”. Speaking about her first diagnosis, she said: “I walked into the room and I looked at the consultant and, before I’d even sat down, I said ‘Have I got cancer?’ And he said ‘Yes’. “Then I said ‘Am I going to die?’ And he said, ‘I need to examine you and then I can tell you.’” Humphrey explained that telling her son, who she wishes to keep anonymous, was the hardest part, and she later underwent a radical hysterectomy, which was performed via keyhole surgery. A biopsy revealed she was in remission just weeks later, and while this was positive news she felt “lost” afterwards. She did not process the “trauma” of the cancer and the fact she could no longer get pregnant due to the radical hysterectomy until much later. “Emotionally I struggled because although I didn’t necessarily want more children, I wasn’t ready to to lose that option,” Humphrey explained. “I grieved not having more children, I grieved something I didn’t have, and I never sought help on that, ever. “Given it’s a gynaecological cancer as well, when I visit my local hospital for any appointment, I sit in a room with pregnant people waiting for their appointments. “They come out of their appointments happy, with their files and scan photos, and you’re sitting there, thinking ‘I can’t have that any more’.” In the years that followed, after Humphrey was medically retired from the police, she continued with cervical cancer awareness campaigns and focused on her salon. However, she started to experience agonising pain in her left leg in 2021 and could not pinpoint the exact source of it. After undergoing scans and tests, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer recurrence just two days before Christmas that year. She then underwent chemotherapy and radiotherapy, which caused her to experience sickness, muscle aches, nose bleeds and ulcers in her mouth. During her second round of chemotherapy she lost her hair within two weeks. “I remember saying to one of the nurses ‘The next time I see you in three weeks, will I have hair?’ And she just said ‘No’, and it was true,” Humphrey said. “I was stood outside my salon on week two and it was really windy and I was trying to make a phone call outside. “I said to my colleague ‘My hair is being blown out of my head’ – it was literally just floating past us – so we shaved it off.” Humphrey said she embraced being “bald and proud” initially, but she missed the “comfort” that having hair gave her – and so her journey to creating her own human hair wigs began. Each wig starts from approximately £450, depending on the length and thickness, and can take up to three weeks to make as Humphrey and her team at the salon custom-colour each one. Humphrey said she will often “work into the night” to finish an order, if required, and some customers have even cried when seeing the finished product. She has since partnered with Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust as well, and for every wig sold through the charity she will donate 10 per cent of the proceeds to the organisation. She explained: “Wearing wigs has given me so much reassurance in a world where nothing is certain. “Just having a wig on gives me that comfort and ability to just be normal, and I want to help others achieve that feeling.” In October 2022, Humphrey was informed her cancer is incurable and she will most likely not reach remission again – however she is determined to keep fighting. She is now having pembrolizumab – a type of immunotherapy – and has regular check-ups, and although she was told that statistically she may only have 18 months to live, she said she wants to “prove everyone wrong, even if (she dies) trying”, and she will not stop her “passion” of making wigs for others. “The results we get are amazing, they’re happy, and being able to support someone with part of their journey is so rewarding – it’s always something I’ve wanted to do,” she said. “It helps them feel confident, and the comfort comes in, but it’s just the fact they can walk out their front door feeling normal.” She added: “If my journey can help someone in the future, then I’m all in.” To find out more about Humphrey and the wigs she and her team make, search @saramanda1_wigs on Instagram. For more information and support about cervical cancer, visit Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust’s website here. 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