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A man has revealed how he learning his brother used to date his wife of 20 years. In a post to Reddit's "Am I A**hole?" forum, the husband detailed how he found out the earth-shattering news from his sister-in-law at a family dinner. "My (50 ish m) wife (50 ish f) has been married 20+ years. My brother’s (45-ish m) wife (45-ish f) recently disclosed at a family dinner that my brother had a date(s) with my wife several weeks before we started dating. I never knew," he began. "They kept it a secret all these years. I realise it is ancient history, but we have had our marriage issues like every couple over the years. "I feel pain, violated, and almost irrationally angry that this 'secret' was common knowledge in my family, but I was clueless," and added that he is unsure how physical their relationship was but his sister-in-law implied "they were intimate" "My wife and I already sleep apart. I am thinking of ending it with her over this. I was a fool for half my life to everyone close to me. I feel like they are all a**holes. From my parents (who said they thought I knew) to my siblings who all knew, I want no contact (at least for a while)." Since sharing this issue, people have been providing their opinions on the situation with most agreeing that the husband is not the a**hole in this situation but his brother and wife are for keeping this secret all these years. One person said: "NTA but if I heard your story, I would never think that you were the fool or think anything badly of you. I would think badly of all the people who knew but said nothing. So don’t feel like a fool - that would be you letting your insecurities get the better of you." "I think you need to determine if you are upset that they didn't tell you, or upset that she potentially slept with your brother prior to you dating 20 years ago," another person wrote. "You're NTA for being upset regardless, but figuring out the 'why' will help you move forward from here. Don't be so quick to throw 20+ years of marriage down the drain." Someone else added: "Man I don't even know what I would do if my partner slept with my sister and I get to know about it after 20 years.... I would feel embarrassed and betrayed. this sucks." "NTA. The whole family disrespected you and made you feel like a fool. Don’t let them try to minimize your feelings," a fourth person commented. "It’s not one lie from 20 years ago. It’s hundreds of lies by omission at every holiday, every wedding, every funeral, every family dinner." Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

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