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Defining Dishes is an IndyEats column that explores the significance of food at key moments in our lives. From recipes that have been passed down for generations, to flavours that hold a special place in our hearts, food shapes every part of our lives in ways we might not have ever imagined. I run a TikTok called @ghostlyarchive, where I share recipes from gravestones mainly across the US that I make and eat. It all started in 2021, while the Covid pandemic was still ongoing. I was studying to be a librarian. One of my classes was about social media and we were tasked with creating a fresh social media account and had to pick a niche. At the same time, for the same library programme, I had to choose a library or an archive to intern with. I found a fairly virtual internship that let me do things safely outside and in person – which was at a cemetery. I ended up interning in a cemetery archives at a congressional cemetery in Washington DC, and this ended up being my social media niche, too. I chose TikTok, which I was new to at the time, and the class required me to post something about my niche every day for three months. So I learnt that there was a whole section of TikTok called “GraveTok”, where there were gravestone cleaners, preservationists and historians posting content, as well as people who just really loved cemeteries and the storytelling around them. I was posting everyday, and when you post everyday, eventually you’re just sharing anything that you come across that’s vaguely interesting. So at first, it was just about the internship, then I moved on to featuring other gravestones in DC. I started sharing any interesting grave or memorial that I was learning about, and that’s how I heard about Naomi Odessa Miller-Dawson’s grave recipe. Naomi has a really beautiful gravestone in Brooklyn, New York. It’s shaped like an open cookbook and features ingredients for her signature spritz cookies, a type of butter cookie that is made using a cookie press. I remember seeing a photo of Naomi’s gravestone and wondering what they tasted like. Because it was during pandemic times, when we had a lot more free time, I had been learning how to cook more and became really curious about this recipe. So I made them, shared the process on TikTok, and it exploded overnight. People were really intrigued by the grave recipe. In the comments, they were asking questions like: “I didn’t know this, who makes these? Are there other gravestones like this?” Or sharing their own experiences saying: “My mum has a really good recipe” or “This is how I make my cookies”. After that, I learned more about who Naomi was and while I was doing that, I was learning about other gravestones with recipes on them that were featured in local blog posts or posted to Twitter, or even on local news. That’s where the project originated. I’ve now made 23 grave recipes, but that first one was such a journey and I’ll remember it forever. The very first time I made the spritz cookies, I baked them incorrectly because there were no instructions on the gravestone and I didn’t know what a spritz cookie was. I made them in little circles and later learned from people commenting on the video that I was supposed to use a cookie press, so I bought one and made them again. They are really beautiful, delicate little butter cookies that you can decorate. I initially thought they were a sort of sugar cookie, because that’s what the ingredient list sounded like to me, but when I figured out what they were and the proper way to make them, it was such a revelation. Eventually, I met Naomi’s family and made her recipe with them. It was so interesting to learn about her family. I felt very honoured that they welcomed me and took the time to talk about who this woman was and what she meant to them. Naomi was the matriarch of her family and an excellent cook. No one was allowed to bring takeaway food into her home because she would say: “I can cook better than anything you can get at a restaurant.” Her son talked about sitting at the counter in her kitchen, just waiting for the cookies to come out of the oven so he could have a freshly baked one immediately, and he did the same thing when we were cooking together. I often think about how the recipes that get put on these graves are such a big part of family food traditions, which is very cool to me. When I met Naomi’s son and granddaughter, who now live in Pennsylvania, we drove past her old house and visited her grave in the cemetery and heard stories about her. I felt close to Naomi, even though I’d never met her. There’s something about food that connects you to so many memories and people of the past. For example, I’ve never met my great-grandparents, but my mother still cooks her grandmother’s recipes and she still talks about this person when she cooks them. It’s a really interesting connection to the tastes, smells and sights that my great-grandmother, who was an Irish immigrant, had. Weirdly, she is actually buried in the same cemetery as Naomi! There is something about food that makes us feel more present with our deceased loved ones. I don’t know what it is, but food has this amazing quality to do that. Other grave recipes that I’ve tried and continue to make include a fudge recipe from Utah and a snickerdoodle recipe from California. I’ve also made two grave recipes from Israel, which were both written in Hebrew. One of them just had the ingredients on it and his widow told the press that if you know how to cook, you’ll know what to do with them. Well, apparently I don’t know how to cook because I had no idea! Luckily, I work part time at the American Jewish University and their librarians both read and speak Hebrew, so they helped me translate the grave. They decided it was a type of mildly sweet yeasted bread and I’ve made it a few times now, it’s really delicious. My friends have asked for that one very frequently because it’s really an objectively good bread. Most of the recipes that end up on graves tend to be baked goods, or sweet recipes, there are a lot of cookies, cakes, pies, cobbler, ice cream. There are a few savoury ones, like a meatloaf, two cheese dips, and a chicken soup. But the rest of them are pretty much desserts. I think they are chosen according to what is comforting for those who are still around. They think: “My grandma made this thing and I immediately associate that thing with her, or my mum or dad, or whoever”. They have a signature dish and get excited when they think about it, and I think that’s how they choose what to put on the grave. Rosie Grant is an archivist currently living in Los Angeles. She visits cemeteries with grave recipes whenever she travels, and shares her process for making these recipes on her TikTok, @ghostlyarchives. Read More The dish that defines me: Michele Pascarella’s Neapolitan ragu The dish that defines me: Evelin Eros’s rum cake The dish that defines me: Mallini Kannan’s baked honey-soy salmon Is there such a thing as British pizza? Courgette season is nearly over – here’s three ways to make the most of them How to cook to keep your gut healthy

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A person’s genetic makeup can play a role in determining whether they can stick to a strict vegetarian diet or not, according to a new study. The research, published on Wednesday in the journal PLOS One, may lead to further studies on personalised dietary recommendations and the production of meat substitutes. While a large fraction of people self-identify as mainly “vegetarians”, they also report eating fish, poultry and/or red meat, suggesting there may be environmental or biological constraints that override one’s desire to adhere to a vegetarian diet, said scientists, including those from Northwestern University in the US. “It seems there are more people who would like to be vegetarian than actually are, and we think it’s because there is something hard-wired here that people may be missing,” study co-author Nabeel Yaseen said. In the study, researchers compared UK Biobank genetic data from 5,324 strict vegetarians – consuming no fish, poultry or red meat – to 329,455 controls. Scientists found three genes linked with vegetarianism and another 31 genes that are potentially associated. Several of these genes, according to the study, are involved in lipid (fat) metabolism and/or brain function including two of the top three (NPC1 and RMC1). “My speculation is there may be lipid component(s) present in meat that some people need. And maybe people whose genetics favor vegetarianism are able to synthesize these components endogenously,” Dr Yaseen said. “However, at this time, this is mere speculation and much more work needs to be done to understand the physiology of vegetarianism,” he said. While vegetarianism is increasing in popularity, vegetarians remain a small minority of people worldwide, with 2.3 per cent of adults and 1.9 per cent of children in the UK identifying as vegetarian. Scientists believe the driving factor for food and drink preference is not just taste, but also how an individual’s body metabolises it. Citing an example, they said when trying alcohol for the first time, most people would not find it pleasurable for the first time, but develop a taste because of how alcohol is over time. “I think with meat, there’s something similar. Perhaps you have a certain component – I’m speculating a lipid component – that makes you need it and crave it,” Dr Yaseen said. “While religious and moral considerations certainly play a major role in the motivation to adopt a vegetarian diet, our data suggest that the ability to adhere to such a diet is constrained by genetics,” he said. Scientists hope future studies will lead to a better understanding of the physiologic differences between vegetarians and meat eaters. They said such an understanding would enable personalised dietary recommendations and to produce better meat substitutes. Read More Six healthy recipes that both you and your gut will love Father sparks debate for giving his son non-vegan food behind his wife’s back From leaf crisps to pudding, India’s ‘super food’ millet finds its way onto the G20 dinner menu

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It’s never too early to introduce money skills to children – but how should we be talking to young girls about finances? After all, the gender pay gap is no myth. Among full-time employees, the median hourly pay was 8.3% less for women than men in April 2022, according to the Office of National Statistics (ONS). It impacts pension saving too: a report published by the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) earlier this year found that across all working-age people, women had average total annual pension contributions of £2,600, compared with £3,400 for men. Women are also less likely to invest. In a survey of 6000 UK adults in 2022, Boring Money estimated that only 40% of investors are women. Alexandra Loydon, director of partner engagement and consultancy at wealth management company St. James’s Place, points out that the “financial services industry has traditionally not targeted women”, adding that there is “an opportunity for the industry” to change this. There are also lots of systemic factors that form an important part of the picture, especially in terms of equal opportunities, pay and maternity/paternity leave. Alongside this though, how can parents and guardians help by talking to young girls about money? “We should be encouraging women to engage with their finances from a young age, and save more when they can and if they can. We should ensure that women take advice, put a plan in place, set goals and don’t touch their long-term savings to help build their wealth over time,” says Loydon. Zoe Brett, financial planner at EQ Investors, agrees that “financial literacy needs to start at school age”. Here are three key things to think about when talking to young girls about money… Encourage them to negotiate “We should be instilling and encouraging women to not be afraid to ask for pay rises and promotions. Statistically, women are more likely to not go for jobs if they do not meet all the requirements [compared with men],” says Loydon. So, how can you model this early? “If rewarding good report card or exam results, ask them to tell you how much or what that achievement is worth and why,” suggests Brett. “Or if paying pocket money, then ensure they are earning it with chores and do a pay review each year, where you ask them to make a case for a raise in pocket money.” Teach them basic money language Introducing them to money management concepts can be incorporated into family life. “We often see children’s chores as mowing the lawn or doing household duties, but how about implementing something more financially orientated, like helping with a weekly shopping budget?” suggests Brett. Done in a positive, age-appropriate way, this could help them become familiar and confident with some basic money language. “Being open and discussing finances during family dinners can also be helpful – children are naturally inquisitive and will likely ask questions or at least passively soak up information,” Brett adds. “For something more structured, there are online courses aimed at teens that teach money basics, or even just following a decent financial influencer on social media can be a great way to teach.” Encourage saving for things they want Saving is an important life skill and instilling this early can empower children with a sense of independence around personal finances and earning power. “If I wanted something, my mum would tell me to save up half the cost of it, and she would pay the other half. It taught me to only spend my money on things I truly wanted. If I wasted my money on sweets, then I simply couldn’t have that new toy I wanted,” Brett recalls of her own childhood. “I didn’t realise it at the time, but every time I put money into my savings account, my mum would double it. This lovingly sneaky little trick gave me an early lesson in compounding and made me want to save more, because I could see my savings growing, it was a real sense of achievement.” Of course, not all households will be able to do this, especially when living costs are stretched. But teaching girls how to save, however possible, is so useful. If you are in a position to do so, Brett suggests: “Open a savings account early on and give them autonomy for that account, with a little guidance along the way. Encourage them to put 25% of their pocket money, earnings, or birthday money into the savings account… Encourage is the optimal word here, enforcing it could lead to resentment and rebellion,” she adds. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live STI cases at record highs: 6 things everyone needs to know about sexually transmitted infections What’s wrong with my roses? Men’s Health Week: How to talk about sensitive or ’embarrassing’ health issues

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