Have you ever been scared and horny at the same time? That's how I felt

Coming out can be hard at any age, but by the time you’re well into adulthood it may feel terrifying, and be completely life-changing. Many people who come out in their thirties and onwards may have wanted to for a long time but not felt safe enough to do so. As October 11 marks National Coming Out Day, it’s important to reflect on how, if and when people can share their authentic selves. “I wasn’t raised in a time when it felt safe to express attraction to women,” says author and creative mentor Fiona Fletcher Reid, who came out last year at the age of 35. “I wasn’t sure about my sexuality until I had psychosexual therapy and was able to explore all the layers of internalised homophobia and repression that I had accumulated over my 35 years,” she says. So, how you can support someone who is going through it? Don’t assume everyone is the same Not every person’s coming out looks the same, and some LGBTQ+ experiences are not universal. “Coming out is a personal experience and because it is often physically and emotionally dangerous to be openly queer, lots of people never feel able to be open,” says Fletcher Reid, now 36. “Some people might feel free to come out once they have ended a particular relationship, or after meeting people who they feel safe around. “For others, like me, it’s that we don’t consciously acknowledge our sexuality until we are a lot older and have the confidence to work through the emotional implications and real-life consequences that come with that,” The writer, from Glasgow, was going through a divorce at the time with a man she’d been with since the age of 17. “During therapy, I talked a lot about the pain I was experiencing during intercourse as well as my general anxiety around sex. It wasn’t until I’d built up a trusting relationship with my therapist that I felt able to discuss the fact that I thought I might be gay and I did not expect that to come up, so I was just as surprised as everyone else when I came out.” Don’t question their authenticity Validate what the person who has come out is saying. “Don’t say, ‘Are you sure?’ because you can rest assured that the person coming out to you has thought long and hard about this,” says Fletcher Reid. “Casting self-doubt on someone when they have opened up a vulnerable part of themselves to you is hurtful.” Don’t question them about their sex life It’s no one else’s business. “Please don’t ask about whether they have been intimate with anyone, or any other sort of suggestion that they need to ‘prove’ their sexuality to you,” she stresses. Consider what they feel and accept that it is a big deal They are probably feeling “a mix of emotions, including excited, happy, empowered and scared for their safety”, says Fletcher Reid. “Sadly coming out can still cause huge ruptures in relationships so be aware that this is a huge moment for them and comes with real consequences. “Dismissing their experience as ‘not a big deal’ because you think it’s ‘normal to be gay’ now is a dangerous and false narrative.” It may sound simple, but just listening and supporting them is vital. “Be there to listen and try to celebrate all the new things that they are exploring as they come out, whether that’s dating, meeting new people or finding ways to experiment with their identity through fashion,” says Fletcher Reid. “Repeat often that you love and care for them and that you accept this evolution of them, that you are happy to see them happy.” Suggest they find community “Encourage them to talk to other people who have been through similar experiences if you can,” she says. “As much as friends and family want to understand what they are going through, it is far more validating to talk to someone else who has come out later in life and understands the emotional intricacies of the experience. “They can also hopefully show them that there are good times ahead.” Thank them for sharing with you “It is a privilege that someone trusts you with coming out, especially later in life. Tell them that you are honoured to have been trusted with this information, and reassure them that you will keep it private until they are ready to tell other people,” Fletcher Reid suggests. “The best reactions that I had from people were seeing their joy that I had discovered this important part of myself, and that had a huge impact on my ability to feel hopeful amidst the pain caused by my divorce. “Allowing them to feel conflicted and guilty and offering reassurance that they have the right to be themselves will make them feel so much happier.” Read More Israel-Hamas conflict: How to talk to teenagers about distressing news stories Autumn décor ideas for a seasonal refresh Why you shouldn’t tidy your garden too much in autumn World Mental Health Day: 5 ways to beat anxiety and change your life Alternative veg to grow for next season How to spot if your child is struggling with their mental health – and what to do next

Brazilian aeronautics company Embraer and its urban mobility subsidiary Eve said Thursday they would build a factory near Sao Paolo to manufacture flying taxis that could...

In general, I reject the concept that films or television are made only "for the

Last year siblings Eliezer, 10, and Elaiza, 12 traveled by bus and foot through eight countries from Venezuela...

A "debris field" has been discovered by an underwater robot searching near the wreck of the Titanic for a missing submersible with five people...

The LVMH group has announced a significant partnership with the 2024 Olympic and Paralympic Games in Paris. The luxury goods conglomerate – which owns brands including Louis Vuitton, Fendi, Tiffany & Co, Moët & Chandon, Hennessy and Dom Perignon – unveiled the news one year ahead of the XXXIII Summer Olympics, set to begin on July 26, 2024. The partnership will include providing products for Olympic events, crafting medals and sponsoring athletes. “It was only natural that LVMH and its maisons be part of this exceptional international event,” said Bernard Arnault, chairman and CEO of LVMH. “Sport is a tremendous source of inspiration for our maisons, which will unite creative excellence and athletic performance by contributing their savoir-faire and bold innovation to this extraordinary celebration.” The first athlete to receive LVMH sponsorship is swimmer Léon Marchand. A strong medal contender for France, the 21-year-old has won three world champion titles and is the world record-holder of the 400-metre individual medley. Make-up brand Sephora will be a partner for the Olympic Torch Relay, while Moët Hennessy wines and the LVMH spirit brands will provide beverages for the Games’ hospitality program. Parisian jeweller Chaumet will design the Olympic and Paralympic medals, and luxury fashion labels Louis Vuitton, Dior and Berluti will lend their expertise in the run-up to the event. LVMH has also committed to expanding its charitable efforts, starting with an initiative with longstanding non-profit partner Secours Populaire Francais. The scheme will facilitate access to sports for 1,000 children and young people aged four to 25 who live in vulnerable situations via funding for sports association memberships, training programs and beginner classes. “LVMH already supported us during our bid for the Summer Olympics and we are thrilled to have the Group with us 100% for this exciting adventure,” said Tony Estanguet, president of the Paris 2024 Olympic Committee. “With its exceptional know-how, the LVMH Group will bring its immensely creative talent to this project and enable us to benefit from its extensive experience.” LVMH jewellers and leather goods brands have a long history of creating trophies and travel cases for major sporting competitions. The Super Bowl and US Open trophies are created by Tiffany & Co, while the leather trunks that house the World Cup, NBA Championship and Monaco Grand Prix trophies are all made by Louis Vuitton. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Bisexual people ‘experience worse health than other adults’ What’s the coolest bedding to survive summer heat and night sweats? How to bring a touch of the Mediterranean to your garden

The sunny holiday weekend (and its plethora of sales) is nearly here — but that doesn’t mean you have to wait for it to take advantage of its deals. Lucky for you, there are some early bird Memorial Day sales available to shop all over the internet. If you’re in the market for big deals on things like the best mattresses with sky-high reviews or the most coveted Dyson vacuums, then it’s time to make those big purchases for less — especially for anyone who, instead of sale sleuthing, needs to catch up on some WFH e-mails after a long weekend of chillin’ by the pool. On top of premium beds and cleaning gadgets, there are plenty of excellent fashion Memorial Day sales, marked-down sex toys, and more worthwhile steals on offer. We’ve taken stock of all of the best sales you should shop — and listed out all the live promos within our Quick Links section below for fast and easy access to the final [dis]countdown. Go forth and fill your virtual baskets with a bounty of summer staples on super sale — and feel content in knowing that you definitely scored that coveted Satvaa bestselling mattress for the lowest price possible. We’ll just be here, behind this screen, keeping tabs on the best early Memorial Day sales that are available to shop.

The new boss of Alton Towers-owner Merlin Entertainments Ltd. has urged the UK government to bring back a

It’s been a wonderful year at the movies for cinephiles, but what do you get for the film lover who has seen everything already

On Monday, May 1, the Writers Guild of America (WGA), the national organization representing television

Designers Miuccia Prada and Raf Simons achieved an unbearable lightness in a series of translucent chiffon dresses that gently cosseted the form, trailed by wispy strands of chiffon