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Defining Dishes is an IndyEats column that explores the significance of food at key moments in our lives. From recipes that have been passed down for generations, to flavours that hold a special place in our hearts, food shapes every part of our lives in ways we might not have ever imagined. As a teenager growing up in Hungary, the summer school holidays were usually spent at home because my parents were still working. They would leave us a list of house chores we needed to do before they left for work in the morning, and it included cooking our own meals, so I learned at an early age that I really enjoy cooking. I love cooking traditional Hungarian food, but I was also keen to experiment with other recipes and there was one day when I was looking for something to cook for that evening, just anything. My friends and I would go to the local library regularly, and on this day, I went and found an old cookbook in the food section. It looked about a hundred years old, it was falling apart, some pages were missing and others were stuck together. But I browsed through it and found a cake recipe involving plums soaked in rum that I thought sounded delicious. The recipe was incomplete because of the state of the book, but I wrote it down in my notebook anyway because it sounded good and I really wanted to try it. I resolved to make it for our dessert that evening. I went to the supermarket and went to search for all the ingredients for the cake. What I wasn’t expecting at the time was how expensive they would be – thinking back now, it makes sense that rum, plums and vanilla would not come cheap, but I was young and didn’t really know the price of things like that. It turned out to be quite an expensive shop, particularly for a 16-year-old using her own pocket money, but I didn’t mind too much as I was convinced it would be great! I got home and started getting ready to cook. It was around this time that I realised just how incomplete the recipe was. It confused me – for example, it seemed to call for just milk and eggs in the batter, there was no flour. But I pressed on and told myself that the recipe writers surely knew what they were doing. I mixed everything in a bowl and it was very, very liquidy, almost like water, which worried me. I poured the batter into a pan and into the oven it went. Now, the recipe said it would only take 20 minutes to cook. But as much as I wanted to trust the recipe, this part made me doubtful because of how liquid the batter was. So I waited and waited, but it remained stubbornly liquid. I wasn’t even sure if it would be edible. After an hour and a half of waiting, I used the toothpick method to see if it was cooked. I inserted the toothpick into the middle of the cake and when I removed it, it was sticky but no batter was left on it, so it looked like it might be OK to take it out. By this time, I had used so much electricity and energy that I was anxious to get it out of the oven. I took it out and left it on the kitchen counter to cool down. I told myself: “Maybe it will be solid by the time I come back.” It did smell amazing because of the vanilla and rum and plums, almost like Christmas cake that filled the house. But to be honest, I had a bad feeling about it. It looked horrendous, the most disgusting-looking cake I had ever seen. At least it looked solid, so I thought OK, that seems fine-ish. After a while, I figured it had cooled down enough so I tried to get it out of the tin. I had used a cake tin that you push up from the bottom to release the cake. While I was pushing the bottom, I don’t know what happened, but the cake slipped and the whole thing just fell onto its face on the floor. I remember standing there for a moment and thinking, I just spent a bloody fortune on this cake and it’s fallen in the dirt on the floor. I rushed to my room in tears, I just couldn’t deal with it. I was so sad. My 18-year-old brother had been in his room the whole time and heard me slamming my door. He must have wondered what happened because I heard him come out of his room and go downstairs to the kitchen. I stayed in my room for a little while feeling sorry for myself, before pulling myself together and heading back out to go and clean up the mess I made. I went down the stairs and I kid you not, saw the funniest scene before my eyes. My brother was on his knees in the kitchen, literally eating the cake from off the floor. I said: “What the hell are you doing?” He told me it smelled and tasted amazing, he couldn’t resist. It reminded me of the Friends episode “The One with All The Cheesecakes”, because there is a scene where Rachel and Chandler are eating cheesecake off the floor in their hallway. It was hilarious that it was happening to me in real life. I didn’t join my brother on the floor, but I did try a little bit of the cake once we picked it up from the floor. It was really tasty even though it wasn’t quite done, but it wasn’t the total failure I thought it was going to be. He offered to get me more eggs so I could try and recreate it again. The next time I made it, I made some adjustments and it turned out bloody amazing. Now, after a lot of experimenting and tweaking the original recipe, I’ve kind of mastered it. It is still expensive to make, so I decided I would only make it for celebrations and for Christmas. I even entered my recipe in an online competition. One of the prizes was a Jamie Oliver cookbook and my dad absolutely adored him. I enlisted his help to submit my entry because I didn’t have a laptop at the time, and it turned out to be a fun thing for us to do together. Some time later, I checked my email and found out I won the competition! Both Dad and I were stunned because I was worried my recipe was too complicated and nobody would want to make it. When we received the book prize, Dad was definitely more pleased than I was. It was a great thing for both of us to do. I genuinely believe that making this cake taught me the power of not giving up. That lesson has followed me throughout my life ever since. I am now an archaeologist living in Glasgow, but it hasn’t been an easy journey. I have had to persist with things even if they don’t go according to plan and keep motivating myself to get here. I think this random cake I picked out of an old book in a library has helped shape my attitude towards life. I’m also really glad my brother ate it off the floor because if he hadn’t, I would never have learned those lessons and maybe, I would be in a very different place today. Evelin Eros is a Hungarian archaeologist living in Glasgow. She makes her rum cake every Christmas and for other special occasions. Read More The dish that defines me: Mallini Kannan’s baked honey-soy salmon The dish that defines me: Frank Yeung’s prawn wontons The dish that defines me: Alex Outhwaite’s Vietnamese bun cha ‘It started with a radish’: Chef Simon Rogan reflects on restaurant L’Enclume at 20 The true story – and murky history – of Portuguese piri piri oil ‘My depression stopped me doing what I loved most in life – cooking’

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Claire Richards has opened up about her experience perimenopause, saying that she feels “lucky” to be experiencing it at this stage in her life. The Steps singer, 46, said on Good Morning Britain: “I feel quite lucky to be going through it [perimenopause] in a period where others have spoken out about it already. There’s a lot more information for me to find. “And I think half the population is going to go through at some point and I was surprised at how little we know as women about perimenopause, menopause, [or] anything that happens to us. Here’s everything you need to know about perimenopause... What is perimenopause? Perimenopause is the transitional period before menopause, and can occur any time between your mid-30s to mid-50s. According to The Menopause Charity, menopause is when your ovaries stop producing eggs and your hormone levels fall. Perimenopause is the gradual process before this when your ovaries start to slow down, and The Menopause Charity says it can last for a few months or several years. Menopause begins when you have not had a period for 12 months, the NHS states. What are the symptoms? The first symptoms of perimenopause are usually (but not always) changes in the normal pattern of your periods, the NHS says. Otherwise, the symptoms are very similar to what women experience once they have reached the menopause. Everyone experiences perimenopause differently, but according to the NHS, mental health symptoms can include mood changes, anxiety, low self-esteem and brain fog. Common physical symptoms can include hot flushes, restlessness, heart palpitations, migraines, muscle aches and joint pains, weight gain, dry and itchy skin, reduced sex drive, vaginal pain and dryness, and consistent urinary tract infections (UTIs). What helps ease the symptoms? Lifestyle adjustments can help ease perimenopause and menopause symptoms. The NHS advises plenty of rest, a healthy diet, regular exercise and doing relaxing things, as well as steering clear of alcohol and cigarettes. Vaginal moisturisers or lubricants can help ease vaginal dryness. Speak to your GP if you are concerned about your symptoms. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can be prescribed for people going through both perimenopause and menopause, replacing oestrogen as hormone levels start to drop. Talking therapy (CBT) is another option and could help with symptoms including low mood and anxiety. Read More Woman says she started to wear ‘terrible wigs’ after her job banned her pink hair Joe Wicks defends decision to pull five-year-old daughter out of school TikToker sparks backlash for complaining about popular European vacation spots: ‘Dying to go home’ Can a vegan diet help with hot flashes in menopausal women? Alzheimer’s: How and when to talk to someone about their memory loss What are gynaecological cancers and how can you prevent them?

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Gabourey Sidibe made fans giggle after she shared a fashion blunder involving “boob tape” on her Instagram. The Precious star, 40, posted a mirror selfie showing herself wearing a bright green strappy dress with a plunging neckline. Peeking out from under the dress, however, was what appeared to be a mess of tape on both breasts. “Boob tape” is a skin-friendly tape that can be used to lift and shape breasts under clothing without needing to wear a bra. However, it can take some practice to get the taping right – as Sidibe demonstrated. She wrote in her post caption: “How y’all be doing Boob Tape? I might need to take a class.” Fans thought Sidibe’s wardrobe malfunction was relatable and hilarious, with many sharing their own troubles with boob tape. “I can’t figure that s*** out either girl,” one person wrote, while another appeared relieved: “All that tape, girl I thought you had surgery!” Another commenter said: “Can the class be on Zoom? I need to be in on the number.” Someone else added: “I just screamed, because me too.” Sidibe’s stylist Kelly Augustine appeared to despair at the American Horror Story star’s attempts to fix her own tape and commented: “Now Gabby [cry-laugh emoji] Please just call me next time.” In a follow-up post on her Instagram Stories, Sidibe posted another mirror selfie in the same dress but appeared much happier this time, with nothing showing from under her garment. “I figured out the t**ty tape!” she wrote on the post, which showed her sticking her tongue out and flashing the peace sign with her hand. Sidibe has previously spoken out about facing size discrimination from major fashion labels. Speaking at the Curvy Con during New York Fashion Week in 2018, she said she was forced to buy a dress from plus-size fashion retailer Torrid because no designers offered to dress her for her first major red carpet appearance at Cannes. She told Teen Vogue that she still faces such discrimination and designers often won’t dress her because she’s “too fat”. “Even though we are moving towards more visibility for plus-size people, there is a lot [of] pushback. So it’s important to keep fighting [and] to keep being visible until the conversation changes and [it] is no longer about our bodies because I’m not my body. I’m a whole person,” Sidibe told the magazine. Last December, Sidibe revealed that she secretly got married to her husband Brandon Frankel in 2021. She announced her engagement in November 2020. In an appearance on Live with Kelly and Ryan, she was asked about her wedding plans. Sidibe answered: “So, the thing about weddings is I don’t like them. Here’s an example of how much I don’t like weddings. I’m actually married. We got married over a year ago.” Sidibe said she and Frankel got “married at the kitchen table” in a very small ceremony that involved just the two of them. When she announced their engagement, the Empire star wrote: “Every moment with him is a joy. He is the partner I thought I was too independent to need. I’ve learned so much about myself through him and I feel grateful and excited to learn more about the entire world with him by my side.” Read More How dogs became my greatest adversary on the dating scene Influencers called out for visiting and promoting Shein’s factory in China Paralympian Ellie Simmonds reveals she was adopted as she reconnects with birth mother Influencers called out for visiting and promoting Shein’s factory in China Outfit choices for Barbie cast photo sparks hilarious reactions Princess Diana’s ‘black sheep’ jumper predicted to sell at auction for up to £70,000

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